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Tue 2 Apr, 2013 08:31 am
Hey everyone,
I feel like I am beginning to live up to my forum name! My life has fallen apart and I was ready to go crazy. But I have decided to see everything as a new beginning.
I quit my job, working 50-60 hours a week, never seeing my kids, it was terrible. I will now be working 3 nights a week and have much more time for my children.
My health issues, still there but I am learning to accept what I cannot change
My marriage. Well I finally have refused to stop living in misery and told him I want a separation, a long time coming but I was so young when we met and then throw in some children and it gets so complicated. He hasn't taken this well and still holds hope. I have been civil, calm and tried to explain to him as nice as possible that I have very little hope, I've felt alone for quite sometime now and the trust has been gone for quite a long time. I don't want to keep beating a dead horse, at least it is dead for me...
So in all of this downpour, I see a rainbow, though I am the only one who sees it that way out of th two of us. We can't afford to live apart right now and the process is just beginning. Any advice would be great. My biggest issue is sticking with this instead of having the same conversation of I m not happy,,him making an effort to change for maybe 2 weeks and then us falling back into the same rut, sweeping everything under the rug. We have grown apart, want totally seperate things in life. I want to come to peace with this. We tried counseling twice and nothing has improved.
I hate seeing him hurting... But I don't understand how he can say he loves me when I have told him several times how unhappy I have been. My impression of love is wanting happiness for the one you love and yourself. I would want anyone I love to be happy, thus being selfless love.
I am done rambling.
Hugs.
I think you're handling it well, and I think you have given it every chance.
For him, I am sure that he believes he loves you. But - his actions (or the lack thereof) speak volumes.
@Crazielady420,
Hi, CL, glad to see you. I agree with your assessment and agree the time is now.
Hang in there..
One of the first items to think about fixing is his living with you. Not that I have any bright ideas, but I think you will have to be stern on this sooner than later. I don't know if you can afford an attorney but there maybe some help in that regard in your city area (others will know more than I do on that). I don't mean that you should be mean, but you are going to need to step up and be firm or things will topple back to same old, same old, which is a depressing road to follow.
Thank you both. I think what will make it real to him is when we go public with it. Sadly, I've been thinking about it for song long that I have been more than ready but I feel he will need time, which I understand. But I think that will be the one thing that makes him realize it is a reality and not an under the rug type of issue.
I just want my kids to have a happy, loving family, and me being unhappy is not setting a good example. I wouldn't want one of my kids to stay like this just for the sake of the kids.
I am exhausted beyond words and ready to face the challenges that come.
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