10
   

Kid wouldn't fight, died of injuries

 
 
MattDavis
 
  2  
Reply Sun 10 Mar, 2013 03:17 pm
@H2O MAN,
How many hours of the day does a child spend in school?
How many waking hours a day does a child spend with parents?
You do the math.
Obviously both are important.
This incident happened at school.
H2O MAN
 
  0  
Reply Sun 10 Mar, 2013 03:21 pm
@MattDavis,
You made the point that is was not a school problem
boomerang
 
  2  
Reply Sun 10 Mar, 2013 03:26 pm
@H2O MAN,
But it does play out at school so it needs to be addressed at school.
boomerang
 
  2  
Reply Sun 10 Mar, 2013 03:29 pm
@MattDavis,
Whenever I'd see those things in one of Mo's classes I'd immediately head for the school office to request a different teacher.
0 Replies
 
Lola
 
  2  
Reply Sun 10 Mar, 2013 03:35 pm
@MattDavis,
I agree too. It sets it up like it's more competition. Competition has it's place, but when it comes to self esteem, there should be ways in which a child can learn to feel good about himself without having to always be on the losing side or the bottom of the chart.

At the dinner table the other night, I mentioned something about saying mean things and my grand daughter opened her eyes very wide and said, "we don't say mean things about each other at my school. We just don't!" I think that's a product of a good anti-bullying program. The kids don't see bullying as admirable, so it's not done.
MattDavis
 
  3  
Reply Sun 10 Mar, 2013 03:35 pm
@H2O MAN,
I (at least hope)have made several points....

Violence is maladaptive to any culture*

*Culture: "The behaviors and beliefs characteristic of a particular social, ethnic, or age group"

Violence is maladaptive to school culture. It is maladaptive to family culture. It is maladaptive to national culture. It is maladaptive to societal culture.
0 Replies
 
MattDavis
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Mar, 2013 03:39 pm
@Lola,
Yes. I think on a more abstract level there is a problem with "cheer leaders" to violence. We should be careful of what we admire and celebrate.

Studies also show, for instance, that males (particularly adolescents) perform more risky behaviors when observed by females whom they find sexually attractive.
H2O MAN
 
  0  
Reply Sun 10 Mar, 2013 03:45 pm
@boomerang,
Of course, but the schools are not designed to address the core problem are they.
H2O MAN
 
  0  
Reply Sun 10 Mar, 2013 03:46 pm
@MattDavis,
MattDavis wrote:



Studies also show, for instance, that males (particularly adolescents) perform more risky behaviors when observed by females whom they find sexually attractive.


Females also perform more risky behaviors when observed by females whom they find sexually attractive.
MattDavis
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Mar, 2013 03:47 pm
@H2O MAN,
What in your view is the core problem?
MattDavis
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Mar, 2013 03:48 pm
@H2O MAN,
Do you have studies that back up that claim?
0 Replies
 
Ice Demon
 
  2  
Reply Sun 10 Mar, 2013 03:48 pm
@boomerang,
I wonder how many teachers and principles already know of some kids who are being bullied, and turn a blind eye acting as if there isn't a problem. Teachers and principles are paid to do their job, and that is to supervise the children, and provide a safe environment for learning and creativity. I think in most cases, if teachers and principles do what they are paid and supposed to do, many of the bullying incidences would be prevented.
Maybe a definitive start would be making all school staff mandatorily attend a course every X months on intercepting and preventing bullies.
MattDavis
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Mar, 2013 03:53 pm
@Ice Demon,
Quote:
Maybe a definitive start would be making all school staff mandatorily attend a course every X months on intercepting and preventing bullies.

That is of course a good idea. I think that most schools already do this (or at least claim that they do). How best to "intercept and prevent" though?
Did you look over the information that Walter linked to?
Ice Demon
 
  2  
Reply Sun 10 Mar, 2013 04:00 pm
@MattDavis,
Yes. A good peer support network is a healthy idea as well. My locker buddy and I, thinking back now, we always had each other's backs outside of the class room. As the article says, invisible violence is the greatest worry with regards to bullying.
0 Replies
 
boomerang
 
  2  
Reply Sun 10 Mar, 2013 04:12 pm
@Ice Demon,
I think most districts do offer teachers and principals courses on bullying.

I think the problem is that they expect a bully to be some knuckle dragging kid (boy) from the wrong side of the tracks and not the pretty, popular girl or the "nice" boy from a good family.

But I do think that their, and society's, perception is changing.
MattDavis
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Mar, 2013 04:17 pm
@boomerang,
Girls and boys (in aggregate) bully in different ways.
In many ways, you might view some of the female bullying as more destructive, my sister for example lost a friend to suicide as the result of a campaign of primarily female bullying. Female bullying (on average) tends to be less physically violent.
The formation of tribes or cliques is related to the labeling problem. "Us" and "Them". Good kids, bad kids. Cool kids, weak kids. etc.
gungasnake
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Mar, 2013 04:35 pm
@boomerang,
Quote:
We'd most definitely get rid of "behavior management" charts.


Please forgive the dumb question.........

What exactly is a behavior management" chart and when did that happen??
boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Mar, 2013 04:38 pm
@MattDavis,
I think boys are becoming much more adept at the kind of social bullying that girls were once known for.

I think we can thank the internet for that. I'll wager that most of the trolls on this forum (and others) are male. Facebook and the like have certainly seen some serious incidents of male social bullying -- and the resulting suicides.
boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Mar, 2013 04:41 pm
@gungasnake,
Usually they take the form of a large chart with each kid's name written above a slot. Each slot will have a red, yellow, and green card. The color displayed is selected by the teacher based on that child's behavior.

There are other types of charts used -- gold stars and the like -- but usually they're the colored cards.
0 Replies
 
MattDavis
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Mar, 2013 04:47 pm
@boomerang,
I completely agree regarding most of the aggression on these threads is probably males (including my own aggressions). Do you notice much "ganging up" of these males? Is there an "in grouping" and "out grouping". My perception on these threads is that the aggression is primarily self-interested aggression (as opposed to clique-oriented aggression).
Proving individual superiority by proving someone else's inferiority.
As opposed to validating one's identity within the preferable group.
 

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