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Mon 4 Mar, 2013 12:54 am
My husband is very flirty. We have been married for 4 years, we have two beautiful kids, 4 and 2.
He recently made a female friend who is single and easy, we both met her at a friend's bday dinner then they decided to be friends and hiding this from me, which explains all the flirty and cheating messages. To him, its not cheating because they did not have sex yet, thats only because i found out only a week after their so called friendship started.
Messages including how much they misses each other, my husband kept asking for cuddles and hugs. They went out 4 times doing things together. He gave her flowers and all. Hugged etc.
He is 25, he is young but not that young anymore, i know flirty is in his nature, the way he looks at people, talks to girls etc, but he is a father now, he is a good father, thinking for kids a lot and his family just when he does this stupid things it breaks my heart!
I of course won't divorce him over this, but i literally can't trust him anymore, whatever he did and he does makes me want to think more about my future with my kids, its like i care less about him, and i want to care more on how to make my own life with kids better, as in find a job and if that ever happens again im ready to financial and emotionally ready to step out.
I don't know what i am thinking right now im just really upset and heart broken...
@JennyW,
JennyW wrote:
I of course won't divorce him over this, but i literally can't trust him anymore, whatever he did and he does makes me want to think more about my future with my kids, its like i care less about him, and i want to care more on how to make my own life with kids better, as in find a job and if that ever happens again im ready to financial and emotionally ready to step out.
You didn't ask a question, but if you had, it seems you have a viable answer right there.
@roger,
Yes, but the OP also needs to own up to her part in all of this. After all, I seriously doubt she didn't know that the husband was flirtatious when they got married. I am not saying that this gives the guy license to go too far or anything of the sort, but she can't say that it's totally outta left field.
@JennyW,
You are wise to begin to take steps in order to be able to take care of yourself and your children. Begin now to do that . . .
Sorry, but it's only a matter of time before this all comes to a head. He sounds like he has an insatiable appetite for attention and likes the chase and excitment of new "things." He has all the markings of a serial cheater.
His fathering has nothing to do with his ability to be a faithful spouse. Don't stay with him because he is a good father. He can be that outside of the marriage - even though he's probably going to be one of those "Disney Dad" your hear about, since he likes fun so much and is so immature..
@JennyW,
JennyW wrote:
He recently made a female friend who is single and easy, we both met her at a friend's bday dinner then they decided to be friends and hiding this from me, which explains all the flirty and cheating messages. To him, its not cheating because they did not have sex yet, thats only because i found out only a week after their so called friendship started.
Messages including how much they misses each other, my husband kept asking for cuddles and hugs. They went out 4 times doing things together. He gave her flowers and all. Hugged etc.
This is totally inappropriate for anyone in any kind of relationship, i.e. married or not. I would have a serious talk with him, tell him how you feel, and that this cannot continue. Show him these responses if you need to, but you have to try to nip this in the bud. If he doesn't respond well, you've got your answer.
There's nothing wrong with a little innocent flirting, but texts and asking for cuddles does not bode well at all.
I feel for you, and think your suggestion to become financially independent and able to support your children is something you should put some real effort and time into. Regardless of whether he's flirty or not, this is always a good idea.
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