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Would this hurt you? Is this ok to do if you have a serious boyfriend

 
 
kwpat37
 
Reply Thu 24 Feb, 2022 08:10 pm
My girlfriend and I have been together for one year. I thought we were madly in love. We were having an incredible evening this past night but then we started talking about different you know relationship stuff and it started off as just communicating uncomfortable things maybe and how we can be better for each other and what not. After some point the cell phone came up. I didnt ask but she insisted I look at the phone to make myself feel that she was totally faithful or whatever. After like the 5th time she insisted, I did and then I read a text that went like the following. It was from a number not saved and was from noon that same day!!!! Just maybe 8 hours ago. The text said this, including punctutation.

"Hi Gorgeous. I have been thinking about you. I was going to go to the gun range sometime soon and I wanted to see if you wanted to go"

Her response was "Hi !!!!! I dont have your number saved. Who is this?"

His response was "hahaha. You never do. Its John Doe."

Her response was "Hi !!!!!!! Gimme a few minutes"

I think it may be important to know that since I had full name, I looked the person up on IG. The profile picture is a man with no shirt on and appears to be heavily into nutrution and working out. Like you know typical, alot of muscle mass, cut up, six pack, etc. Also this man and I dont know why this seems strange to me. but they dont have any post on IG apparently but have you know a few hundred followers and follow a couple people. Just odd seems.
 
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Thu 24 Feb, 2022 09:32 pm
@kwpat37,
Not sure what you're expecting here.

She showed you her phone voluntarily.

So, she's going to the gun range (maybe) with someone who you know about.

Why not ask to come along?
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Thu 24 Feb, 2022 10:01 pm
Did you ask her what this means? Did you ask if she is going and what the purpose if all this is?
emmanuelg
 
  1  
Reply Thu 24 Feb, 2022 11:49 pm
@kwpat37,
Inquiring minds want to know: What is she trying to convey? Did you ask her about whether or not she was going and what the objective of all of this seemed to be?
kwpat37
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Feb, 2022 05:47 pm
@jespah,
The guy who sent the text is someone she says she hasnt talked to or seen in years. I do not know who he is. But to me he was asking her out on a date. Or if you dont want to call it a date, he was asking her to go somewhere with him, just them two, and spend time together and do something fun. Yes she gave me phone. I believe she did not remember this text from earlier that day even though it was fresh. Because if she did, she would not have voluntarily shown me the phone, as she would know I would not like it. I do not understand why she responded to the guy saying "gimme a minute" ... meaning like I will get back to you. The guys picture on IG is shirtless and he has the whole great bod thing going on. I have never heard of this man before. Over the past year and half he has never appeared in any social environment so I would say he is an aquantince at best? All she would say and has said, is that its meaningless, meaningless. I do not understand why she would leave the door open here. In my opinion, her response should have been "Hi - its nice to hear from you. Not sure if you know or not but I have a boyfriend, weve been together for a year and have talked marriage. I dont think he would appreciate me going to the gun range with you."
0 Replies
 
kwpat37
 
  0  
Reply Fri 25 Feb, 2022 05:49 pm
@Linkat,
she just said it means nothing it means nothing, i just said hi to a guy.

The guy who sent the text is someone she says she hasnt talked to or seen in years. I do not know who he is. But to me he was asking her out on a date. Or if you dont want to call it a date, he was asking her to go somewhere with him, just them two, and spend time together and do something fun. Yes she gave me phone. I believe she did not remember this text from earlier that day even though it was fresh. Because if she did, she would not have voluntarily shown me the phone, as she would know I would not like it. I do not understand why she responded to the guy saying "gimme a minute" ... meaning like I will get back to you. The guys picture on IG is shirtless and he has the whole great bod thing going on. I have never heard of this man before. Over the past year and half he has never appeared in any social environment so I would say he is an aquantince at best? All she would say and has said, is that its meaningless, meaningless. I do not understand why she would leave the door open here. In my opinion, her response should have been "Hi - its nice to hear from you. Not sure if you know or not but I have a boyfriend, weve been together for a year and have talked marriage. I dont think he would appreciate me going to the gun range with you."
kwpat37
 
  0  
Reply Fri 25 Feb, 2022 05:51 pm
@emmanuelg,
she kept saying its nothing ... it means nothing.. meaningless... so why respond to what to me is a guy asking you out on a date... with respond with I have boyfriend, and leave it at that??? Why text back "gimme a minute"
as in I will get back to you to discuss further?? Leaving door open? WHY ??!!The guy who sent the text is someone she says she hasnt talked to or seen in years. I do not know who he is. But to me he was asking her out on a date. Or if you dont want to call it a date, he was asking her to go somewhere with him, just them two, and spend time together and do something fun. Yes she gave me phone. I believe she did not remember this text from earlier that day even though it was fresh. Because if she did, she would not have voluntarily shown me the phone, as she would know I would not like it. I do not understand why she responded to the guy saying "gimme a minute" ... meaning like I will get back to you. The guys picture on IG is shirtless and he has the whole great bod thing going on. I have never heard of this man before. Over the past year and half he has never appeared in any social environment so I would say he is an aquantince at best? All she would say and has said, is that its meaningless, meaningless. I do not understand why she would leave the door open here. In my opinion, her response should have been "Hi - its nice to hear from you. Not sure if you know or not but I have a boyfriend, weve been together for a year and have talked marriage. I dont think he would appreciate me going to the gun range with you."
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Feb, 2022 08:44 pm
@kwpat37,
I'd suggest having a heart to heart with her...lay it all out on the table. Say you want to be straight...you want to be exclusive ... You don't want to play games ..you care for her and want the straight info and you will give her that in return. It means on your side being completely transparent, taking a risk on your side but at least you would know where you stand.
0 Replies
 
neptuneblue
 
  2  
Reply Sat 26 Feb, 2022 07:16 am
@kwpat37,
Posts like this makes my skin crawl.

May I remind you -- You Do Not OWN this woman.

She can talk to whoever she wants, do whatever she wants and be friends to whoever she wants.

She came to YOU to tell you. She isn't hiding anything, There's NO inappropriate behavior going on. Yet you INSIST she responds according to YOU and your jealous, controlling nature.

You should be ashamed.

One year. That's all. That's all that's taken to try to browbeat her to YOUR will, make her submissive and alienate her from friends and activities she may enjoy.

One year.

Make this next year count. Be better than this.
Mame
 
  2  
Reply Tue 1 Mar, 2022 05:35 pm
I'm very sorry that you had to go through this. Very unfair. I hope you dumped her (sounds like you did).
0 Replies
 
glitterbag
 
  3  
Reply Tue 1 Mar, 2022 05:40 pm
I strongly encourage you to stop calling the members "whores", it's vulgar and insulting. So far I don't see where you have gained permission to speak to any of us in such fashion.
Ragman
 
  2  
Reply Wed 2 Mar, 2022 12:29 pm
@glitterbag,
Did I miss something here? Or did something get deleted?
Mame
 
  3  
Reply Wed 2 Mar, 2022 12:30 pm
@Ragman,
Yes, his response was deleted because it was offensive.
Ragman
 
  2  
Reply Wed 2 Mar, 2022 12:31 pm
@Mame,
Thanks. Glad I missed it.
0 Replies
 
Medusax
 
  1  
Reply Wed 9 Mar, 2022 07:27 pm
@neptuneblue,
What are the rules of a relationship in your opinion? Because it seems you believe that loyalty is out the window.
neptuneblue
 
  1  
Reply Wed 9 Mar, 2022 11:10 pm
@Medusax,
Which part of this story is real to you in any way?

Now, I certainly understand cheating is a sore spot for you, but I really didn't think you were a gullible sort. It seems to me you believe abuse is ok.
Medusax
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Mar, 2022 10:28 am
@neptuneblue,
Never said anything about ABUSE being ok, ever. They are in a "serious" relationship, what ever that means. He is upset that his SO wants to spend time alone with someone who as I read his post, is a "**** boy". So he should just let her when we all know where that is leading. And...that is fine???
0 Replies
 
 

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