Any of you guys have problem with a wife on a shopping spree?

I think you need to talk her into counseling before you go broke. Of course, unless she can be reasoned with and sees that she has a problem, you might have a hard time getting her to counseling.

Do you go shopping with her? Do you try to stop her from spending the money in any way? (Look honey, don't you think the 50 pair of shoes you already have is enough?)

But that's the main problem! She thinks she's not doing anything wrong. Her reasoning is she's better off spending money on clothes/shoes than gambling the money away.

Hi, Jeremiah, welcome back.

I seem to remember we have either spatted before or I insulted you some time ago.

Anyway, I'm on your side here.

I had an odd childhood in that for a while we had money and for longer while we did not, years and years of did not.

I got through school because way back then, tuition was free in my state and I worked a couple of jobs through it.

Once I got paychecks I was very happy. I didn't go wild, knew better than that, but did splurge. And sometime splurged more often.
I didn't have a good sense of saving, since in my family in my years there was nothing to save.

I think your wife has a problem going on re the shopping thing.


I remember back when boutique stores were first a thing, and that one afternoon, as I was exiting one, I understood that my fun was picking out stuff, and going to the pay counter was an advance, and leaving that counter was more or less all down hill. Of course I liked some purchases, but in the reality of the buying, it was all about picking something out and taking it to the counter, a kind of small joy.

I don't know how to help your wife as all this is complicated.
I hope she can get some counselling.

Personally, I still like to shop - but my acquisitions are now minor. Focus can change - but it is a bit of a trip.

I think my wife is beyond help. There is no way changing this woman. But thank you for the replies just the same. I just needed to vent my frustration. I may just go on living through this hell till the day I die...

He said she uses her own money.

I'd ask why those are the only options...

Take her to a financial planner and let them explain why broke old hoaders eat cat food.
or get your wife to watch some of this lady's shows. http://www.gailvazoxlade.com/

Your wife needs help.

True. He also said they were married. If she begins using credit cards or money put aside for shared household expenses, then he could also be liable. That is what I was referring to since it seemed obvious that they keep their money somewhat separate when he referred to the money as "hers" instead of "ours." But I see how you could think I missed that.

If it truly is her money AFTER her share of household expenses, then I would agree he cannot complain as much. But the behavior is troubling all the same and could lead to problems down the road.

In my house, my husband telling me what I should do with my money would definitly lead to problems, and not down the road.

You have three valid options in my opinion.
1) As long as it's not a joint account and you’ve kept the wealth separate, then let it run its own course. It may eve lead her to debt. Some people learn the hard way. There's a little you can do for them, especially if she is stubborn and unwilling to change. Addicts must reach their “bottom,” where their addiction no longer works for them.
2) Convince her to see a counselor to talk about her shopping/ previous gambling addiction and seek further treatment if necessary.
3) Divorce her.

Everyone seems to be on your side here, Jeremiah...so allow me to agree with your wife on one thing:



She is correct here. I think saving it makes more sense than "spending it on things" and/or "gambling it away"...but...

...spending it on "things" just sounds to me to make more sense than gambling it away.

I can imagine his wife being on the show called hoarders.