Am I alone

@dalehileman,

I can only speak for myself and my observations of online behaviors:

Frankly, those questions are none of my (or anyone's) business and have no bearing in this style of forum. As part of the forum culture it is frowned upon. I equate it with someone in a chat room like AO-Hell asking A/S/L ..decidedly not appropos for a forum. To do so, makes you like amateurish or gauche and a bit out-of-place. People like to keep anonymous, beyond providing a nickname.

As for someone who just enters and maintains their anonymity, they can ask sensitive questions and have no repercussions in real life.

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@Ragman,

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none of my business….no bearing in this style of forum….frowned upon.

Yes Rag but why

My own first reaction upon the typical a2k OP is, "I could respond much more intelligently if I only knew something more about you"

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People like to keep anonymous beyond providing a nickname.

Yes, that's what's so puzzling. If I admitted for instance that I am an Afghan immigrant from an Alaskan village, am only four years old, my dad had committed suicide, or that as a white dude I especially like pretty black girls, don't you suppose any responses I 'd rouse might prove more helpful

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@dalehileman,

Sorry, I'm not sure I can help you any further. Feel free to re-read what I wrote as I've indicated there's a cultural difference in forum vs chat rooms. Facebook and other social sites or chat rooms serve this different and more social purpose.

Why does such a cultural difference exist? Your guess is as good as mine. Perhaps the nature of such a forum as this one is to express opinions or gather info as opposed to meeting people/social site, per se. But, to provide personal info where anyone can have access to it is unwise at the very least.

Not everyone adheres to that mode as you can read in many threads stories of how many of the regulars having met or planning to meet in person. Newbies are understandably more reticent as they don't know the participants or the lay of the land.

Of course, this refers to newbies whose sole purpose in life is NOT to spam or having commercial interests of some sort.

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@dalehileman,

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..in my intense curiously about the folk using a2k, a most unusual site indeed compared to other forums in which I've participated

So in response to the typical OP I often ask--without revelation of anything critical to ID--about age, sex, nationality, ed., motives, occup, family, ambition, etc

What puzzles me, why among 100,000 members, at least 100 of whom are active at any moment, (1) I seem to be the only such pursuant and (2) why so seldom any revelation, however innocent

If there's need to know the age then it's up to the poster to reveal it, sometimes they do when various questions and/or responses come forward. Same with gender. Hell, the same is the case on most of the nonsense you listed.

And what do you mean 'motives'? Are you saying that you have ulterior motives for being here? Just read the bloody question and respond as you see fit. How darned difficult is that?

As to the members indicating, some like privacy- deal with it.

Ragman wrote:

People like to keep anonymous beyond providing a nickname.

dalehileman wrote:

Yes, that's what's so puzzling

What's puzzling about it? Do you comprehend the idea of anonymity?

And now a musical interlude for dalehileman provided by Little Miss Dynamite, Brenda Lee. (other than the title it has little to nothing to do with your questional dalehileman...song title was bromo seltzered into my head when I viewed your thread title)

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@Sturgis,

I never noticed before how Brenda Lee sounds a bit like Edith Piaf (vibrato and similar tonal timbre).

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@Ragman,

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Facebook and other social sites or chat rooms serve this different and more social purpose.

I suppose Rag that could be true though hardly in stated mission, while few queries match the intimacy of many OP's hereabout

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Your guess is as good as mine.

I wish I could unearth it, but one of our long-time contributors had explained its origin, which might account in at least some measure for the kind of participants

I suppose it's a quirk on my part harboring such curiosity about the psychological bases for postings that seem to me anyhow, comparatively bizarre. I've no intention of intrusion or ridicule

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But, to provide personal info where anyone can have access to it is unwise at the very least.

Wouldn't the very same reasoning apply however to the typical a2k OP containing all sorts of personal revelations positively embarrassing to the typical Western-Hermispheric Sensitivity

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Newbies are understandably more reticent….

Of course you're quite right about that. Yet I get the impression seldom if ever does such a participant yield to more revelatory urgings

It's as if almost everyone is terrified by the idea that someone might, by conducting an extensive search,, using any vitals incidentally provided, learn who he is, revealing through facility of the vast Internet and maybe even classified newspaper media, his identity and location if not home address, to the World At Large, a towering historical rejection of massive dimensions

…followed by dozens of garishly detailed pickup trucks descending upon his home one summer midnight, carrying shotguns and shouting right-wing slogans……..

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What the other two posters have said.

If I ask -- or respond to -- a political question or a philosophic concept or anything at all, my age, race, sex, ethnicity or anything else that's personal is completely irrelevant. When responding to a thread, I attempt to address the topic rather than the person posting the topic. How old the poster is or whether he/she lives in India or China or Ohio is none of my business.

There are some minor exceptions to this, of course. If a question is unbelievably naive, I think it's okay to respond with, "How old are you anyway?" Or, if a person seems to be using the English language in an awkward way, it's all right to ask what their first language is, imo.

We're not totally anonymous, of course. I have met at least a dozen or more A2kers in the flesh and consider a number of them good friends. Which reminds me, cicerone impostor is in Honolulu since yesterday; I should be thinking about taking a short hop over, island to island, and seeing Tak before he goes back to the Bay Area at the end of the month. Helluva nice guy.

1 Reply

@dalehileman,

As far as motivation (for anonymity) goes, I think it's reasonable for people to want their posts to be addressed purely on their own merits rather than on any assumptions which could be implied by having additional information on them. This level of anonymity is different from normal face-to-face interactions of course, but I think it's a reasonable approach to getting discussions answered cleanly. Consider it a social experiment in a way.

All of that assuming of course that the question itself doesn't beg for information about the person asking. In which case I think the person asking needs to be smart enough to throw in the relevant info for consideration.

The other issue of anonymity is that claims of any type can't easily be verified. So even if someone says they're a 40 yr old housewife, you have no way of knowing for sure. I'm of the opinion that many many of the members who claim to be cute little 20yr old girls asking about sex, are in reality 40yr old dipshit men who get a thrill from pretending to be a young girl.

So in the end, it's meaningless to try to know much about the people who post here. And at the worst, you could be horribly misled by the reality of who you are speaking with. Best to just let it all go and not worry about it.

On the other hand, if you're an 80yr old guy having trouble with a keyboard and you want some sympathy from a tech-literate population, then you're better off throwing that bit of info in. If you're lucky someone will actually believe you (maybe only for a moment) and you'll get the sympathy/assistance you need. Wink

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@Sturgis,

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If there's need to know the age then it's up to the poster to reveal it,

Yes absolutely though seldom done

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sometimes they do when various questions and/or responses come forward.

Yes tho rarely. I think however the OP is often unaware how all such data might better explain her query. For instance she might be a confused but especially articulate five-year-old female born into a Middle-Eastern culture where it's routine for the feminine rape victim to mob-executed; but of immigrant parents, thus picked on for her feelings by other kindergarten kids more easily swayed by majority philosophy, unable to understand the extreme reticence by her immediate feminine peers, hence lack of support

Thus, "Am I alone," feels she

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Same with gender. Hell, the same is the case on most of the nonsense you listed.

Yes, all such nonsense determining the status of the participant and help explain what we might consider her peculiarities

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And what do you mean 'motives'?

What makes her tick, why participate in such a forum, what she might hope to learn, etc

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Are you saying that you have ulterior motives for being here?

Who, me

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Just read the bloody question and respond as you see fit. How darned difficult is that?

I suppose you're addressing the contributor. And of course it doesn't seem difficult to her because she doesn't realize how radically different her impressions of the world than ours

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As to the members indicating, some like privacy-

I haven't suggested revealing anything outright betraying

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…...deal with it.

But you seem angry, I harbor no truculence, only hope to stimulate response intellectual

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@Lustig Andrei,

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……..minor exceptions to this, of course. If…..unbelievably naive…...okay to ……..How old?" Or………..in an awkward way, it's all right to ask what their first language is, imo.

Oh Andy I absolutely agree. But I find many, many instances where also figure in strongly such factors as nationality, sex, religion, occ, ed., motives, family which would instantly explain remarks we Westerners might consider otherwise inexplicable

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@rosborne979,

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I think it's reasonable for people to want their posts to be addressed purely on their own merits rather than on any assumptions which could be implied

Of course Ros, true from the contributor's standpoint and possibly those of his peers. Of course a kid anywhere is unlikely to realize his age or ed. matters to understanding his post

However in the typical case to which I have general reference, for instance, a Near-Eastern participant in his OP or response simply might not realize that it's perfectly ok to gang up on and beat to death anyone who has been raped or who drops a sacrilegious remark

But if I overstate my position it's largely to draw comment

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@rosborne979,

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….. that many many of the members who claim to be cute little 20yr old girls asking about sex, are in reality 40yr old dipshit men…...pretending to be a young girl.

Ros you've made my entire day

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Best to just let it all go and not worry about it.

Not so much worried as intrigued

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On the other hand, if you're an 80yr old guy

82 actually

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having trouble with a keyboard

Awful touch typist, continually griping about the impossibly stupid editing routines

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and you want some sympathy from a tech-literate population,

Not much chance

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then you're better off throwing that bit of info in.

You're welcome to whatever. Don't have much to hide

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If you're lucky someone will actually believe you (maybe only for a moment)

Or even just entertain the possibility

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and you'll get the sympathy/assistance you need.

What's so remarkable is the incomprehension, it's as if I'm speaking Croatian

All right, Croats, no offense, Martian then

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@dalehileman,

Bottom line...even if the questions are answered...there is no way you know for sure they were answered truthfully...so everything is still anonymous.

Apparently people lie on the Internet every day. (You can ask the Notre Dame football team about that.)

Questions asked - answers given...on the Internet equals...no questions ask or no answers given. It is a kind of zero sum game.

1 Reply

I think this joker wants to judge people in advance of reading their opinions or claims. He so consistently asks these questions--inappropriately--that i long ago came to the conclusion that he intends to judge the answer based on the image he would form of the member if they actually answered his intrusive, rude questions.

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@Frank Apisa,

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…...even if the questions are answered...there is no way you know for sure they were answered truthfully…..

Point taken Frank, well, at least I tried

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……..It is a kind of zero sum game.

But surely not hopeless

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@Setanta,

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I think this joker wants to judge people in advance of reading their opinions or claims.

No, ….., that's silly. Of course I'd read it first

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…...--that i long ago came to the conclusion that he intends to judge the answer based on the image he would form of the member……..

Yes, that's almost exactly it, …….., you've expressed the concept most aptly

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his intrusive, rude questions.

I must be a really terrible person

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New members of a2k have the opportunity to fill out profile information.

IF THEY DIDN"T< THEY DIDN"T WANT TO>

YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO READ THAT PROFILE< OR AT LEAST SEE THEIR POSTS IN REVERSE ORDER

SORRY - MY CAPS KEY IS STUCK, HOPE I CAN FIX IT.

1 Reply

@rosborne979,

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So in the end, it's meaningless to try to know much about the people who post here.

Apparently so, Ros. Interesting to note however the principal reason being not their mendacity but their reticence. Hard to understand. Why should I care for instance whether someone learns I'm an 82-year-old retired male, BS in Journ (puns invited), erstwhile inventor and writer, married at age 42 with two excellent grownup kids, apodictical existential pantheist, devoid of ambition but happy, Recording Secretary of The Greater Southwest Beer-Tasting Society

…..with obviously overinflated ego………

…...and living out in the Mojave Desert where for reasons immediately obvious my hobby is most appreciated

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And at the worst, you could be horribly misled…...

True indeed Ros but on the other hand by gaining some insight I might better address his query

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Best to just let it all go and not worry about it.

I keep asking myself this Ros. Why persist in such a hopeless quest among bunch of strangers, many if not most of whom (present company excepted) seem terribly angry at all times about nearly everything and who repeatedly attack anything you say, however innocent, intent on assigning you to the pit of obliquity

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@dalehileman,

There were quite a few threads that collected identifying info like that in the early days of A2k with lots of participants. The site has somehow grown/developed past that. I suspect it's just part of how sites grow. I think Jespah's the expert in that area. Maybe she'll pipe in.

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