awfully thin not that thin right?

Well they have mostly just said to use skills and dbt skills and taking meds when needed like Ativan or something to calm down,oh i have to be checked out on the 9th when my doc is in .sigh i guess use conventional methods for now . Im having tough time not working out very strong urge:(

You know why you're having so much angst about this, right?

You're terrified that as you regain your health, you'll gain weight. You're obsessed with that silly number on the scale. It has taken control of your life to the point that you'll starve yourself and exercise yourself to exhaustion just to make sure you still see that magical number on the scale.

Do yourself a favor and just recalibrate your scale so it shows that you weigh 10 pounds less than you actually do. Maybe that will help you calm down while you rebuild your good health.

Possibly your right though.and ended rocking back an fourth before i just went to sleep last night .
Im dreading our cabin trip my family and i leave this coming Sun
They will have snacks and three meals a day freaking out if i might end up not able to stop eating since body i guess is starved.

Just checking in with you to see how things went with your medical meeting today.


You can help yourself get through the cabin trip with your family. Pack some of the types of low-cal snacks and foods you like to eat. Your family will see you eating it and you won't get so freaked out that you are going to gain a pound from doing so.

What are some of the low-cal snacks you like and would want to take with you to the cabin?

I went to the meeting it was an hr meeting
And it was established what the problems areas were and goals also who is going to do what (team wise )and i also have things on my end i need to do .
And the team like giving me homework i dont mind really.

And most team members made it a point to chat a lil despite a very hectic busy schedule for them (it was suprising that my team members did that and it was nice of them to do it for me /showed me they truly want to get to know me better and be able to do what they can do to help .)

And my plan is that ill mix some low cal foods but also take small portions of normal food and if for sure hungry for more only do half amount then focus on keeping busy after meals and will work to keep an eye on how much i work out

Stop this **** with half the amount. Sorry, but **** your plan, you have been killing yourself, and I get you can't help that.
But stop it.
I think most of us who ever post on this thread want you to keep living.

You have been oblivious to help. Stop being oblivious.
I know you are smart enough to know the word.

Listen to the immediate people who are trying to help you.

SO you all I assume want me to eat all three meals an a lil extra ?

SOunds soooooooooooooooo scary and ill get huge PANICSS

It's frightening right now, I'll give you that. The upside is you will start to add some weight and begin to feel a bit better. Face the fear, know that it's just trying to hold you down and remember you have the power to conquer it.

We want you to get the help you need to be happy and healthy.

Please keep in communication with your medical caregivers and do your best to do what it takes to keep yourself on track.

Even so im huge i feel like flabby and puffy and look 2 months pregro round tummy even though not pregro gosh i hate my life i want to give up, adding weight wont do much to make me feel better

Thanks for the support , im doing my best but not sure how i can hold on much anymore things just seem horrible like im living in hell

Im super depressed and scared and tommorrow leaving for our family rented cabin vacation an wont return till the 8 th but will have wifi, im scared to eat and they always have snacks out crap ill get huge criiess

i just only want to be better and live a normal healthy life it all seems hopeless

Most people want to live a normal healthy life and at times it can seem unbearable and painful (emotionally and physically). I've been there more times than I'd care to recall, always make it through and feel much better after.

Dealt with getting past alcohol use, past severe weight loss, and a few other things, some were physical and health related, some emotional drainers, some were in other areas of life, at times I wanted to give up, but I never did. In close to 63 years it's all been worth it. So hang on a while and give it all a whirl! Believe in yourself.

Call your medical team. They are there to help you through these moments.

I could call my crisis line from ACT services i receive but they dont have it seems really good trained workers working the lines and only 5/10 min talk so i get rushed so they can get to next person . other then that i rather not be ambushed by other crisis lines for my thoughts
Ill be ok i have to go eat and get stuff ready to put in suit case.

Im at the cabin and it took alot of provoking and fighting beforhand but here till Tues ,also anacking a little an took a nap trying to relax hard to relax

Just read through this thread - worried about you wonder. How's it going at the cabin?

Well It surprisingly went better then I expected ,My parents and I had a deal where I stayed 3 days then went home 2 1/2 days early from the cabin with my dad so that made it easier and also I ate on average 3 meals and 3/4 worth of snacks a day .

Im home now , and incidentally the eating disorder hit me with everything and now im getting back on laxatives , a quick question...

Im 5'2' and last time I weighed 110 IBS.
and now Im starting to use laxatives the senkot one .
will that further worsen my malnutrition my medical doc diagnosed me with ? and will it be a slight danger?

I usally nibble food or everyonce in awhile I ll have small meals.