awfully thin not that thin right?

Yes, you know what to do and who to call. Help is there if you want it. God knows you need it.

Hoping you make the right decision ...

Im eating but still not enough and slowly building up some days i dont even eat

Ive not been eating for a long time and now slowly eating but end up compensating for it all right away afterwards or later ,my body is starting to eat itself with lack of food i give it and cals lack of to ,

Ive been dancing since age 8,and thinking of going back to dancing and one one to loose weight other to have fun , but mostly to loose weight ,Im hoping to be 80-90 lbs, Im now 5"3" in height and underweight borderline underweight my doc says .

My doc wants me to eat 3 times a day and 2 snacks but thats to much for me HELLLLPPPPPPPPPPP
Freaking outtttttttt and i have a food/calorie phobia to .

Scientifically valid test results ,
I took a test



Depression Test - Depressive Symptoms (score 61) There is some indication that you might be clinically depressed. You have depressive sysmptoms, either many of moderate intensity, or several severe ones. Review carefully the sysmptoms listed below that you currently possess and consult a physician promptly to verify their seriousness. Symptom: Generally depresssed mood Symptom: Loss of interest in enjoyable activities and lack of pleasure Symptom: Significant changes in appetite; weight loss or weight gain Symptom: Difficulty falling or staying asleep Symptom: Psychomotor symptoms (moving slower than usual or behaving in an agitated manner) Symptom: Loss of or significant decrease in energy; persistent fatigue Symptom: Exaggerated feelings of guilt, shame or embarrassment Symptom: Loss of or significant decrease in ability to concentrate Symptom: Frequent thoughts of death or suicidal ideation


Depressive Mindset (score 46) Assesses whether your thinking style, attitudes or personality make you vulnerable to depression. It appears that in some areas, your personality, attitudes, and thinking style protect you against depression, while in others this is not the case. Researchers have noted that depressed individuals tend to be different from non-depressed individuals in a variety of areas. These include their thinking patterns, their personality, and their attitudes about the world. You should read the specific scale results to find out about your problem areas. When faced with the same situation as a person with a very depressive mindset, you are less likely to become depressed, although you are somewhat vulnerable.


Maladaptive Perfectionism (score 38) This scale assesses the extent to which you are hard on yourself when your standards are not met. You scored fairly low in Maladaptive Perfectionism. This means that when you fail to achieve what you set out to do, you do not usually beat yourself up over it. While this might mean that you may not learn from your mistakes and work harder after failing to achieve a goal, it is a self-protective trait in terms of depression. People who berate themselves when they fail to reach goals are prone to depression. Such a tendency can be very damaging to one’s self-esteem.


Rumination (score 60) Measures the extent to which you tend to over-think issues you are experiencing in your life. You tend to over-think problems in your life, dwelling on them too long and too often, and wasting unnecessary energy. This habit likely makes issues in your life seem all the more overwhelming, often to the point where they take over your life and your thoughts. People who ruminate are vulnerable to depression because they cannot allow themselves a minute of peace. As a result, their problems tend to be magnified by the extra thought put into them. They become obsessed with relationship, career or other personal problems.


Cognitive Variables (score 43) Assesses extent to which you attribute failures and setbacks to stable, unchanging, and uncontrollable factors. While you tend to believe that some failures, setbacks and difficult life challenges are temporary, for others, your outlook is more negative. Perhaps in those areas, you lack confidence in your ability to alter the outcome or feel that other factors have control over whether things will get better. Remember that if you believe that there is room for improvement, even the most upsetting situation can be tolerated. Otherwise, you will begin to lose hope.


Internal Attribution of Failure (score 44) Assesses whether you tend to blame yourself for problems or failures you have experienced, or tend to blame external factors. You tend to attribute some failures, setbacks and difficult life situations to internal factors and others to external factors. This means that sometimes, you blame yourself for problems in your life, and other times you feel that they are caused by factors beyond your control. When you blame negative experiences on yourself, it can be very damaging to your self-esteem. It can make you to feel as though you are incapable of dealing with issues in your life, leading to hopelessness and helplessness, which is a key cause of depression.


Attentional Bias (score 50) Assesses whether you tend to notice and pay attention to negative information in your environment more than you do positive information. Depressed individuals tend to be more sensitive to negative information in their environment. They manage to pick out the one unhappy face in a crowd, or notice the negative critiques and ignore the positive. You appear to have a slight tendency to think this way. In certain areas of your life or when you are feeling down, you tend to hone in on negative information, while other times you pick out the positive. Remember that by focusing consistently on the positive stimuli around you, you can help protect yourself from depression. When you center your attention on negative input, you serve to confirm any pessimistic thoughts and opinions you may have about yourself.


Catastrophic Thinking Patterns (score 50) Evaluates whether you tend to be overly dramatic about things that happen in your life, thinking that the consequences will be more catastrophic than is necessarily true. Sometimes, you take negative experiences or news at face value, while other times you tend to believe that the consequences of such events are more catastrophic than the really are. When you begin to dramatize an event (e.g. you start to imagine all the other possible things that can go wrong) you are wasting more energy on that negative experience than is necessary. People with a depressive mindset tend to believe that when something bad happens, the consequences will be severe and far-reaching. They react more strongly to such situations as a result. If you try to adopt a more “That’s life, but I’ll get over it” attitude, you may be able to recover more quickly from negative experiences.


Worry about Judgment of Others (score 37) Measures whether you worry excessively about being judged by others. When you experience a setback or problem in your life, one of the last things on your mind is what other people will think. You generally don't believe that others take pleasure in your problems, that they feel sorry for you, or that they are otherwise judgmental of you. This frees you from what, for some people, is a major concern. It also means that you are comfortable seeking comfort from others when you are in emotional pain. Therefore, the benefits of this attitude are twofold – you can seek out emotional support when you need it, and are free from worry about being judged by others. Rigid Mindset (score 50) Assesses whether you have a rigid mindset or tend to be a more flexible person. You appear to have a moderately flexible mindset, but there are some areas and issues where you’re thinking is more black and white. Being flexible can help you maintain a positive attitude and allow you to adjust when things don’t go as planned. People who refuse to bend have a lot of difficulty adjusting when their expectations are not met.

Have you made an emergency appointment with your medical support team yet? If not, what are you waiting for?

why would i need to?

Absolutely no reason at all. You've made the choice to keep cutting yourself, drugging yourself, starving yourself and neglecting yourself.

Why do you keep coming here to tell us about what you've chosen to do to yourself? What would you like to hear from us?

Actually as of late im starting to improve ive even have gotten resources online and in real life to help support my recovery such as mental health associations ,my team,friends,family,and certified doctors who are rated very high in the nation online a free service where your able to ask questions and receive actual accurate certified info from a real life doctor or doctors who volunteer there time to answer questions from consumers free.

ive so far have also started using aromatherapy beads and put scented liquid and mix it an let it sit in a container and at night i put it near so im smelling it constantly an ive actually been able to relax more then i have in many years and i even was so relaxed that my muscles actually released tension in a profound way .

i mean i actually jerked and felt brain shivers but not aware of that but my alters told me that ,cause i stayed asleep without waking up during it ,ive gotten in the habit of eating eggs in the morning scrambled with salt/pepper and onion .
and im also eating small things during the day

Do you have multiple personality disorder? It's not mentioned in your test results

yes officially diganosed in 2005

Ok to take another ativan an advil pm or benedryl?

I took one ativan already but my doc dont want me to take anymore and said if 1 ativan didnt work to call a crisis line.but i think its safe to take another ativan an benedryl or advil pm

Im seeing a MD now instead of a PA_C ......
and also the MD wants to do team approach to my care (care coordinator,care plan, and care team) .

Im doing better slowly but now my exercise addiction is causing havoc on my health ,and im not able to take rest or days off im constantly working out when i can and thinking of a gym membership in order to feed into the addiction sighs

Why would my medical clinic not want me to relieve my severe migranes with nausea over the counter ,? And why would they want a another blind weight despite me dealing with severe migraines with nausea ,and getting my heart rate up doing intensive 5/6 hrs a day with lil food intake an drinking,? Also why they so instent on gettin nutrients /cals through food only ,?

1) Why would my medical clinic not want me to relieve my severe migranes with nausea over the counter ,? Because they likely want you either taking prescription medications or working to not get headaches in the first place. Plus don't kid yourself about OTC drugs. An overdose can still damage you (I have a friend who really did a number on her liver when she OD'd on Extra Strength Tylenol and, yes, she was trying to kill herself).
2) And why would they want a another blind weight despite me dealing with severe migraines with nausea ,and getting my heart rate up doing intensive 5/6 hrs a day with lil food intake an drinking,? You're getting your heart rate up with intensive exercise because you are an exercise bulimic. If you exercised less intensively and for less time, you wouldn't be getting quite so many migraines, I bet. You are bringing a lot of this on yourself. Instead of you running through five Zumba classes in a row (or whatever it is you're doing) and then taking a bunch of Advil, they want you to exercise less, not get the migraine in the first place and not take the Advil.
3) Also why they so instent on gettin nutrients /cals through food only ,? Is this a trick question? What do you think? Humans get their nutrients and calories through food.

why why and why?

because they're trying to help you learn how to be healthy and they want you to stay alive

Yes but how intensive excercising influence headache/migraines to flare more and for longer,? And the coordinator said that that the doc thinks the migraines with nausea are very sevre due to lack of clas an nutrion and partially the intense excercise(i do high intensive cardio,stretching,areboics ,dance for 5/6 hrs sometimes more till i get very tired an weak
Also what the heck can weight tell them about possible causes? Or possible treatment,?

Im not going to die though unless something happens though , and im healthy lower risk for heart attacks ,high cholestral etc

PLEASE read what jespah said -

The side effects of over-exercising and food restriction can kill you more easily than cholesterol can, but I think you know that.

Thin people may have somewhat fewer heart attacks but they die of them at higher rates because their bodies don't have the resources to get them through the recovery process.

Putting your body under high stress by overexercising and poor nutrition is a risk factor for a number of diseases.

The headaches could be warning signs for strokes.

I hope that your doctors and counsellors are able to make you understand what you have already done to yourself.

Ok, gloves off, you are nuts, and killing yourself..

your weight will tell them if you are following their directions