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It's that time of year again. Time for my annual Xmas kvetch.
I'm sitting at Starbuck's with my laptop and I'm ready to barf, listening to the sappy, dopey, corny music that's coming over the loudspeakers. I told them yesterday that if it wasn't for the free wifi they would have lost my business for the season. It drives me up a wall to hear 'The Little Drummer Boy' a dozen times. Once is hardly tolerable.

I make it a point to stay out of stores like Macy's or Walmart's until the idiocy is over. I totally and completely despise the modern celebration of Christmas.

If you're a Christian, please remember that this lunatic feast has absolutety nothing to do with the birth of Jesus. Nil. Zilch. Nada. Nobody knows what time of the year Jsus was born. It doesn't say in the Gospels. It'scelebrated in December for the simple reason that the early church fathers couldn't make their newly-converted flock stop reveling at Mid-winter. So they put a Christian face on a pagan feast which recognizes the natural wonder of the Winter Solstice.

If you're not a Christian, wtf are you rushing around for, buying gifts that nobody will appreciate and putting up decorations that just need to be cleaned up again a couple of weeks later? And why are you celebrating a holiday on December 25 when the actual Solstice occurs on the 22d or 23d? If you're Jewish, the 25th of Kislev is Chanukah but 25 Kislev usually doesn't coincide with 25 December.

I absolutely hate, despise and abhor the way we continue to make the rich richer by spending our hard-earned cash on stupid trifles at this time of the year.

And that noise they call Christmas Carols drives me up a frikkin' wall!!!

So, please join me in excoriating this idiotic feast.

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Type: Discussion • Score: 12 • Views: 6,891 • Replies: 44

@Lustig Andrei,

Im sorry I didnt hear you, I was busy beating up some carolers

2 Replies

@farmerman,

if you hear clip clop clip clop bang, you'll know why...

Shocked

0 Replies

@farmerman,

DECK the halls with

<sound of blows landing>

BALLS of HOLLY!!

<thud, groan>

FA LA LA

<thud-thud, gurgle>

la

<thud>

la

<thud>

lalala....

<thud>

<silence>

0 Replies

Hey, I kind of like 'em. As long as they stick to the traditional, I mean. Now, when they trot out Rockin' around the Christmas Tree, followed by a mess of chipmonks, you wouldn't want to be eating at the same table.

1 Reply

@Lustig Andrei,

Hannukah is one of those precious little "Made up "Jewish HOlidays that originally was a family dinner when Lattkes were served and all the adults got quietly hammered on Maneschewitz on night 1, then theyd all sit around plying maj jhong and canasta. Its since been "upgraded" so little Jewish kids wouldnt feel like they were being isolated drom all this annual hedonism and gluttony.

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@Lustig Andrei,

I started going off of christmas music while I was still catholic around forty years ago.

Personally, some of my favorite songs, or favorite albums have become bummers, unrelated to christmas music, just re repetition.

It happened before then, but the big time was when husband and I remodeled our house ourselves, with one helper, a guy from England. A guy from England who loved old time rock and roll.

Me, from that time, no longer want to hear any of it - it reached a precipice.

This isn't just about christmas music - though now apropo - but I once played Wes Montgomery past tolerable and immediately hated all of it. Or if you never liked him, insert another name.

Edit - that was fifty years ago. I'll give the added ten for the process of completeness.

1 Reply

@roger,

Think about three or four different covers of "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" and you'll upchuck your lunch. That's what they play at McDonald's, among other things. I expected Starbuck's to have slightly better taste. They do. Very slightly.

1 Reply

@Lustig Andrei,

I like contact with family at Christmas and Thanksgiving and New Years. No flinging of gifts. New Years is more the time with pals.

I don't go places with carols.

Yet.

I'm due for a once a month walmart visit.

0 Replies

@Lustig Andrei,

I may have identified the reason I like Christmas so much. No hearing = no Christmas music onslaught.

And I do like it! I know I've said this before but I'm really not a fan of the cold and the short days, so getting everything all twinkly and gussied up helps get me through to the solstice, and then I can just look forward to days getting gradually longer. (January and February are deeply unpleasant months for me. Starts looking up in March.)

1 Reply

@ossobuco,

people all like CArols because they are SIMPLE MINDED and they are played in simple major chords so they are all HAPPY . CAN you think of a Christmas CArol thats in a minor key?

1 Reply

my goal this year is not to be assaulted by christmas songs except during grocery shopping. it's almost unavoidable there...

and no carolers shall venture forth this far into the kansas wilderness.

I'll report back if I accidentally encounter any.

1 Reply

@sozobe,

I can relate to that,Soz. That's why getting drunk on New Year's Eve makes perfectly good sense to me, even though I don't do that myself any more and haven't for the past 17 years.

0 Replies

@farmerman,

Good point, fm. I can't even imagine a carol in a minor key.

0 Replies

@Rockhead,

I can look really deranged and I strt by telling the carolers that I hadda kill my buddy who started singing Christmas Carols as we were dug in at TWang Bang DAng. He knew we were supposed to keep silent cause the VC were out ther.
I hadda kill him and then I look at the carolers with a twichy eye.

1 Reply

@farmerman,

you'n me could have some real fun at the bar, I can tell.

Amish drive-by shootings are the worst. they take forever...

1 Reply

@Rockhead,

New show on tv called "The Amish Mafia"---no ****. Somebdy and his producer got all tokd up and probably came up with it

0 Replies

There's a chain store in Canada, Shoppers Drug Mart, which started playing Christmas music the day after Hallowe'en--literally the day after, on November 1. There was a huge public outcry, and they pulled the Christmas music. Then they tried to pretend that they had made the decision on their own. Given the public reaction, i suspect that shoppers were warming up the managers' ears all over the country.

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The Hawaii Tribune-Herald, our local daily newspaper here on the Big Island, carried a picture story about the booming sale of Christmas trees on page one the other day. Seems there's a tree vendor selling "furs." No ****. Laughing

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@Lustig Andrei,

A few days back, more than a week before Butternut Squash Day (November 22), I was going station to station on the radio and there was this idiot station playing all Christmas music all the time. Then I remembered they torture us this way every year starting around the 1st of November. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Their last 20 (since their online site insists on listing them)
1. Burl Ives - A Holly Jolly Christmas
2. John Lennon / The Plastic Ono Band - Happy Xmas
3. Bobby Helms - Jingle Bell Rock
4. Perry Como - It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas
5. Brenda Lee - Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree
6. Nat King Cole - The Christmas Song
7. Leroy Anderson - Sleigh Ride
8. Bing Crosby - White Christmas
9. Andy Williams - It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year
10. Band Aid - Do They Know It's Christmas?
11. Bing Crosby - It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christ
12. Vince Guaraldi Trio - Linus And Lucy
13. Ronettes - Sleigh Ride
14. Carpenters - Merry Christmas Darling
15. Andy Williams - Happy Holiday
16. Perry Como - Home For The Holidays
17. Frank Sinatra - Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!
18. Jose Feliciano - Feliz Navidad
19. Martina Mcbride - Silver Bells
20. Elvis Presley - Blue Christmas

1 Reply

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