George wrote:The nursing home Mom had been in forwarded me an ambulance bill for
another patient. I was getting some errands done, so I dropped in to
give the bill to them. I was almost overwhelmed by a sense of sadness
and loss. Yet I can visit her grave with much less emotion. Odd.
Thats quite understandable. I never want to go anywhere near any of the homes I had to find for my mother. In retrospect I think we were treated apallingly, and there was nothing I could do. The very thought of the home makes me feel very sad and at the same time angry. But my mother's memorial in the chapel grounds is a peaceful place. I feel better there.
Steve~
I'm sorry to hear that. The first time My mother had to go to a Nursing Home, I was so naive I just accepted the one that had a representative there at the hospital. The place was terrible! Luckily she was there for only a short
stay. After that I was careful to check out places first.
That last home was a good place and I was happy with the care she got. I
just had a very hard time being there again. As for that first place, wild
horses couldn't drag me there again.
Just an abdate: mother/aunt no changes, worse.
Mrs Walter phoned me tonight: they had (a very late) ward round by the senior physican: she can leave the hospital tomorrow after the orthopedic surgeons have talked to her.
Walter--
Wonderful news--for you both.
Walter Hinteler wrote:Just an abdate: mother/aunt no changes, worse.
Mrs Walter phoned me tonight: they had (a very late) ward round by the senior physican: she can leave the hospital tomorrow after the orthopedic surgeons have talked to her.
Phew! Now you can breathe again!
Thanks, Noddy and swimpy!
Swimpy wrote:Phew! Now you can breathe again!
Quite a bit. Unfortunately, however, the headaches about mother/aunt can come now back ... in the foreground again.
Mental Decline & Dependency/Coping With Aging Loved Ones
All I can say is you've got good news about Mrs Walter, at least, so hang in there.
One day at a time, Walter.
My sister took my mom in to the opthamologist yesterday because we've been noticing her vision is failing. They ran a bunch of tests on her and determined that plaque in her carotid arteries is affecting her vision. She'll see her regular doctor tomorrow to discuss whether surgery is a good idea at her age.
thats great news walter.
welcome home Mrs Walter!!!!!!!!!
Mental Decline & Dependency/Coping With Aging Loved Ones
Alleluia!
Bob's neck xrays showed only "normal osteoarthritis of aging" - so I suppose the pain is normal... Anyway, they will do ultrasound, etc as well as motion exercises, since nothing is broken (which possibility of course, everyone had in the back of their minds) and the painkillers for a few more days.
Tomkitten--
I'm glad that Bob is not going to be bedeviled with unremitting pain as well as his other indignities.
Hold your dominion.
Thinking of all of you and your strength and decency. I admire you tremendously.
Walter, please give Mrs. Walter a hug from me. Do make it a gentle one.
Diane wrote:Do make it a gentle one.
Good that you mentioned that :wink:
This is all difficult, as all here already know.
My father was transferred from a mental institution to an icu when he died, and my mother died of, at the least, alzheimers. I'm at the age when they both started to show signs. I don't have a safety net.
I have a cape of friends and relatives, but not many would I call in deepest stress, even if I could.
I've a few local, dear friends, but none of them can save m'life or me theirs.
What I see in this thread are partnered people.
Connections are often wildly onerous.
Connections will siphon whole wafts of your life.
I went through much of what is in this thread in my mid twenties and early thirties, wresting era-of-the-times life at the edge of my parents' decimation, a complex and mostly horrible situation..
You are allowed to move on to your own joys.
You know that. Sometimes you/we need to be told.
Osso--
The genetic lottery puts you at double risk.
You are living with the Sword of Damocles overhead and no one to watch your back.
Hold your dominion.
Walter--
Good news--although being able to devote your full energy to your elderly doddering ladies is a mixed blessing.
********
From my Small Potatoes Patch.
I mentioned earlier that my tea towels were vanishing because I'd recommended that Mr. Noddy use them as rags in his workshop?
I didn't mention that both wash cloths and dish cloths were also vanishing.
I found them. I'll spare you the unsavory details, but I chucked the whole festering mess and bought a dozen new wash cloths and a dozen dish clothes.
Noddy24 wrote:Good news--although being able to devote your full energy to your elderly doddering ladies is a mixed blessing.
I hopefully think that this 'blessing' won't last very long- certain (hidden) signals from my mother are pointing to the direction .... that she "thinks" about comsidering to get the idea of thinking about moving to a nursing home.
Walter--
How complicated is the winter weather where you are? Or are your mother and your aunt essentially shut-ins all the year round?
We didn't have a winter .... besides some days ... the last years.
Mother can't go out - aunt hasn't been outs since seven weeks now.
November usually is the worst time of the year: due to weather as well as it is the "death month" here (with Sundays for commemoration of the dead/vetrans).
Walter--
Since both your mother and aunt are housebound, a nursing home could offer them a more social life.
Of course, they might not think that a more social life is appealing.
I'll keep my fingers crossed.
