Mental Decline & Dependency/Coping With Aging Loved Ones
I went over earlier than for previous evening visits, and found that what the other family member had told me was perfectly true. I arrived well before visiting hour officially begin, and stayed, undisturbed, for about 45 minutes. Of course, it may depend to some extent on who's on duty; some people are less given to rule-bending than others, but all the staff that I've met have been kind, helpful, accommodating and really nice, so I don't really anticipate trouble.
Nothing is supposed to happen tomorrow - Sunday, after all - but Monday everyone there will get together and see what is to be done. Then they'll invite me to make my contribution and everyone will know more. I hope.
I also hope they don't lay too much stress on the favorite medical theory that they must prolong life. At this stage, says one of my cousins who went through the slow lingering death of her diabetic husband, that's really just prolonging dying.
Mental Decline & Dependency/Coping With Aging Loved Ones
I have to give a lecture on Wednesday which is also our 37th anniversary. I hope I don't break down...
It's been a long and happy marriage, and I'm grateful for it.
Ah, Tomkitten, what a week that was. We'll be listening.
Tomkitten--
Does your husband have a Living Will?
You have the right to tell the doctors that you do not want his life prolonged past a time when his life is worth living.
As for visiting hours--if he is calmer with you there, then the staff can devote time to the unhappy, demanding patients without visitors.
Hold your dominion.
Mental Decline & Dependency/Coping With Aging Loved Ones
Noddy - you bet he does. With other documents to back it up and spell out precisely what he wants and doesn't want. I'm his proxy, and as far back as a year ago I was asked about a ventilator when he was hospitalized for passing out in public places - I mean the temple, the Chestnut Hill Mall. I mean PUBLIC. It's an awful, maybe awesome is a better word, responsibility and I exercised it then, and have made things clear now.
Our lawyer drew up the Living Will, and it includes the warning that artificial feeding or hydration of any sort will be taken as a physical assault, and treated as such under the law.
All we can do now is hope that the hospital will honor his desires and my decisions, if the need arises.
Tomkitten--
The Living Will should protect you both--and give you one less thing to worry about.
Sunday is a day of rest in hospitals. May Monday bring some answers.
Hold your dominion.
Quote:artificial feeding or hydration of any sort will be taken as a physical assault,
While tube feeding may be withheld, I don't think that fluids (IV) will be.
Miller--
I've lived through several "no heroic measures" hospital deaths. Care is determined by the provisions of the Living Will and the wishes of the proxy so the patient can die as comfortably as possible.
Mental Decline & Dependency/Coping With Aging Loved Ones
Well, the question arises of who should be where my husband is - him or ME? Our anniversary is Tuesday, not Wednesday, at all.
However, I'm still correct about the lecture - it's always on the 3rd Wednesday and that's the 15th of August. So I'm safe, there.
I'm glad you won't be giving the lecture on your anniversary, Tomkitten. I'm sure you would have pushed yourself to meet the challenge, but it's better that you don't have the conflict.
Tomkitten--
I've felt for some time now that senility is highly contageous. Of course I'm the sort of high-strung, sensitive neurotic who has an acclaimed talent for being Driven Distracted.
Good that you'll be able to spend your wedding anniversary with your Beloved on Tuesday. Then on Wednesday, you'll be able to lecture with a free heart.
Hold your dominion.
Mental Decline & Dependency/Coping With Aging Loved Ones
Two thing to say:
First, and most important is that the doctor is pretty sure Bob can come home, though not yet.
Second, thank God for the lecture - last-minute preparation is taking my mind off other things.
There's always a let-down after the lecture, but I can start work on the next poetry reading; that's going to be a bit tricky, because I've used up so many of what I consider the best bits, but it will all come together and be alright on the night".
Tomkitten--
Excellent news about Bob being able to come home. This must give you hope.
I'm glad your Second Life is coming together. You need--and deserve--a bit of diversion and intellectual stimulation.
Happy anniversary.
Mental Decline & Dependency/Coping With Aging Loved Ones
Thank God for A2K. All your support is vital.
Tomkitten--
Happy Anniversary. May the doctors come up with some pharmaceutical soothing so that your Beloved can come home quickly.
Mental Decline & Dependency/Coping With Aging Loved Ones
Oh Noddy - Thank you!
He seems to be doing better; I think he's much more alert. He's on Seroquel and now we're just keeping our fingers crossed and trying to be patient.
Tom Kitten, I've been following along with your experiences, feeling the utmost sympathy and respect for your strength.
Good news that your husband is coming home. My question is, whether or not you will have help--visiting nurse, etc?
