Mental decline and dependency
Oh Phoenix that was indeed the day from hell, and I can't think of anything helpful to say except that you're in my thoughts.
And the saga continues. I went over to see my mother. She appeared very confused, and complained that she was not feeling well. I think that the CHF is starting to get to her. She had only been using the oxygen at night, but the nurse from Hospice put it on her, so I hope that will help.
I informed that ALF that if she falls again, I did not want her to be automatically to be sent to the ER. I wanted to be called. The trips to the ER are just too traumatic for her. I learned that there is a service that has a mobile X Ray unit, if there is any question of fracture, and the Hospice doctor authorizes a prescription for it..
I wrote out a "cover their ass" note that would absolve the ALF of any responsibility if they did not send her to the ER. At this point in time, she needs as much stability as possible.
I can imagine the stress you and mother gets (and has got).
Though a wonder abit that such is done in an institution of palliative care, a hopsice
Walter- The Assisted Living Facility has nothing to do with Hospice. Hospice comes in as an independent contractor, but interacts with the ALF.
I see (and looked it up): different to here (in Europe).
Walter- Hospice does have their own facility. In fact, the last time that she was sent to the ER, she was so weak that I had her admitted to the Hospice House for a day. She perked right back up, and was sent back to her ALF.
Hospice will also have services in a person's own home.
Mental decline and dependency
I have to say something in gratitude to our local emergency medical services.
Last weekend I was taken to our local community hospital - in the middle of the night, natch - and Bob insisted on going with me. The ambulance people were very understanding, and loaded him and his walker in with me.
When I got there the nurse said he could wait in the waiting room; I said "He stays". And she looked annoyed, but didn't argue. Of course, by the time they stabilized me with morphine I felt considerably better, though tired, but Bob was wilting fast. He's been going downhill lately, and hasn't much stamina left.
Eventually they moved me to another ER area
and Bob sat and sat. Finally he told me he abaoutely had to lie down. And the nurse led him to an empty bed, tucked him up in a warm sheet, and let him rest; eventually he slept for an hour or so.
The bed was needed, later on, so he had to get up, but they brought him breakfast - enormous; he couldn't possibly have eaten half.
Anyway, the rest/sleep/meal did him good, although we both practically collapsed when we got home around 10 am.
I can't see our local big hospitals being that thoughtful, although I may be prejudiced by previous experience at Mass General. Our community hospital is still more people-oriented, I think.
Tomkitten--
You have my sympathy. You were very lucky to find compassionate medical people.
Phoenix--
Don't take your cell phone on your Mental Health outing.
There must be something in the air. Last night Mr. Noddy went shocky on his way home from follow up visits to his doctors. He was supposed to be home before 6. He arrived home at 9:30, wanting my rapt attention and admiration for a situation that never should have happened.
Phoenix, I hope you have a wonderful time taking pictures, drinking beer, and being you!
Oy! I had my mental health day at Busch, guzzling beer, and taking pictures. On my way home, I thought that I would drop by and see my mother. I called my husband from in front of the ALF. He told me that the people from hospice have been ringing his phone off the hook.
Bottom line, she has been transferred to the Hospice House. I spoke with the doctor, and she says that my mother probably does not have too much time. She has had a precipitous slide, has a fever, and an infection. They will give her antibiotics, but she believes that what is happening is that her system is shutting down.
My husband is not feeling well himself after the seeding, (he is exhausted, with waves of extreme tiredness). I really have to think of him first, but I am a bit torn. At least I know that my mother is getting good care. I will go over there right in the morning, and see what is happening.
If it isn't one thing..
Well, this is tough, Phoenix. We're thinking of you.
It's her time, Phoenix. Get home and regroup. I'll be thinking of you.
I'm trying to remember the medical term for that breakdown, for no good reason since the term doesn't matter.
What a day.
Reminds me of one of my favorite expressions:
"Besides that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?"
Right now, I am in the living room at the Hospice House. Earlier this morning, I had gone to see my mother. She was non-responsive, but was breathing appropriately. I went home.
A couple of hours later, I received a call that she had died. There is nothing more than I can do for her, other than make "arrangements", but I am finding it difficult to leave.
Oh, Phoenix. I'm sorry for your loss.
I understand.
I'm sorry for your loss.
The loss will also be a respite. Don't feel guilty about that. (I figure you know not to.)
Hugs.
Phoenix :
i am very sorry to hear that your mother passed away !
my condolences !
hbg
an old friend of mine passed away last week monday . he had a severe stroke two years ago and really did not not recover well .
last week saturday i went to see him at the hospital - he had gotten pneumonia !
we did exchange a few words , but we both realized that he might not make it .
he was in his early 80's and had had a very good life - a hard worker , but he also knew how to enjoy life .
he was married for 60 yers and i spoke to his wife this morning for a while .
she is quite sad to have lost her 'walter' but we were able to talk about the good times they had had together .
she seemed to feel a little better after we had talked for a while - and so did i .
we'll visit with her next week - life goes on after a while .
Thank you all for your kind thoughts. I am coming to grips with the reality of things. I am glad that my mom did not suffer for too long at the end. I would have loved to have had that nice last "mother/daughter chat", but that was not to be. Apparently, real life does not work like in the movies.
Aw, ****. She knew that I loved her.
Believe it or not, posting on A2K on this issue has been completely cathartic for me. You will even find me posting on other threads. It is a good distraction, and besides, I always like to put my two cents in.
