I always wondered why I looked like Juanita at the diner

but ... inquiring minds want to know...how was the pie?

Oh yeah...I have definitely been there. Might even have some relatives there.

Was the diner in Mexico? This could completely derail your presidential campaign. I no longer trust your birth certificate!

So she got him with pie and he got her with child.

Sounds like a fair trade. Good think Clinton signed NAFTA so it was free trade with Juanita as well as fair.

But what about Chai's poor mom being forced to carry another woman's baby? Who's going to rectify the emotional scars that left?

Listen to the whole song, then you'll get it . . .

Is the snail supposed to be a condom?

That Barney, he beats everything.

Is this why you dropped the Tea from your name?

It's alright, you can tell us -- it's a diner thing, isn't it?

Go away, you make me pregnant all the time.

I'm so sorry, Chai. It must be hell, realizing the woman who bore you is not your mother. But as for Juanita...I wouldn't ask for back birthday presents if I were you. She could demand back Mother's Day presents.

Oh yeah, absofrickinglutly, so confront Juanita and say "You are going to raise me up all over."
Then take your clothes off and pull on a pair of Depends and climb onto Juanita's lap and rock yourself to sleep for the first time in years.

She owes you so much.
She's got to make you 536 soggy paper sack lunches and forget to pick you up after school six times.
She has to buy you the fakie Cabbage Patch Doll and pretend that it's the real thing and that the ones ALL the other kids have are the fakes.
AND
she has to hit on your first boyfriend, the tall one with the curly brown hair and then later, after you've forgiven her, pretend to forget that you and that really cute blondie first baseman are out in the backyard by the above ground pool so she comes out onto the deck wearing nothing but a pair of short shorts and a see-thru push-up bra.

She has to fight like hell to make sure you don't get married the first time and then fight like hell to make sure you don't leave the guy just because he's been down at the Town Pump Cafe and Bar six nights a week for two and half years.

That ought to just about catch you up.

Joe(except for the pony, but honey, nobody except a Kennedy gets a pony)Nation

"Your Poppa ain't your Poppa, but your Poppa don't know"

Shame and scandal in the Family.

What kind of pie was it?

And was it expensive?

I think you should approach Juanita and tell her you know all about it.

Maybe she will welcome you in with her family - at the very least you should be able to get some free pie.

But first, take good look at Juanita's boy Chollo.
Then take a good look at your Mom.