should I tell her I like her?

Reply Tue 15 May, 2012 11:01 pm
I have a huge problem I need help with. I'll start at the very beginning of the very long story. almost 3 years ago, I met a friend who we will call L. L and I were good friends for about 2 months when we met a girl will we call K. L immediately started flirting with K, because he obviously liked her. I liked her too, but I am the shy, and quiet around new people type. So i just let him flirt and kinda stood there awkwardly. I never told L that I also liked K. They started dating shortly after that day, and the 3 of us would hang out every day for about 2 years. Almost right at the beginning of their relationship I resented L, not only because of K, but for many other reasons as well. I stayed his friend only because he was K's boyfriend and if i wasn't friends with him, I couldn't be friends with her. I had dated one girl, J, during that 2 years. She is K's best friend. She tore my heart to shreds and now, after about 2 and a half years after we broke up, I am basically over her. After the most recent valentines day, due to severe depression and physical pain I began using heroin on a daily basis. I had also done crack a few times. K voiced her concern for me and told me I had 2 weeks to quit or I would lose her as a friend. During that 2 weeks, K and L broke up. That same day I told L that we were no longer friends, because he was a very bad friend, and the only reason I stayed his friend was so that I could be friends with K. Because of the reasons mentioned before, i continued to use drugs. K then told me that she could not watch me hurt myself, so she stopped talking to me. I was still friends with J, even after what she put me through. After about 2 weeks after K stopped talking to me, I forced myself to get clean, no rehab was necessary, just the thought of having K as a friend again was enough to get me clean. (That shows how much I care about her.) So I told J that I was clean and asked her to tell K. She did, and K and I are now friends again and have been for about 3 weeks. There were only about 2 and a half weeks that we did not talk, so our friendship picked up where it left off. We hang out almost everyday, and laugh and have a lot of fun. We have been such good friends for almost 3 years, and I have always liked K. But ever since we became friends again my love for her is growing by the minute. Every time I see her I feel, happy. And i'm always depressed. Her being around even diminishes my physical pain often times. I think i'm in love with her. But she is my ex friend's ex girlfriend, and my ex girlfriends best friend. K often makes it a point to say to me that I am her best friend ever, and that she will always be here for me. She is my best (and almost only) friend. She is the one I turn to when i'm upset and vice versa. I don't want to tell her I like her because I don't want to ruin our friendship. But what if she likes me back? What if for the past 3 years she has felt the same way? I need advice, I don't know what to do or how to do it. Please help Sad
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Reply Wed 16 May, 2012 06:23 am
You sure do give her a lot of power over your life.

Will you relapse if she won't be your GF?/lover?

I think you need to work on yourself to become a strong, mature, drug-free person. Then she might notice you for being something other than needy.

Sorry, but you have no sense of yourself and put too much into her.
Reply Thu 17 May, 2012 10:34 pm
No I will not relapse, I need her at least as a fiend, therefore, i will not relapse. I know I give her a lot of power, but she does not use it. I may not be emotionally strong, but I am mature, and relatively drug free (free from hard drugs, the only ones she cares about me doing). I do go to her for help often, but she has never viewed me as needy. I have a lot of sense of myself, maybe too much, I know who I am, like it or not. But I do agree...I put too much into her. but that's what you do for the woman you love, am I right?
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Reply Thu 17 May, 2012 11:56 pm
Tell her how you felt about her in the way beginning, see how she reacts to that. Casually bring up how you met her and how you felt, then take advantage of whatever reaction comes out of her. If she say's she always liked you as just a friend, I would suggest not telling her yet (although it seems like she'll be there for you through thick and thin). I'm exactly like you too, shy and quite along with millions of other people, so you're not alone. It's not good to keep all those emotions held up inside cause it'll make you sick. Don't worry about what any of your friends will think cause if they are true friends they'll support you, if not then they obviously aren't worth your time. Everything happens for a reason, during the 3 years that you "thought" you guys could have been going out may not have worked out and now you know to stay away from drugs. You gained experience for the better and she obviously cares a lot about you, either way it looks like everything is in your favor, so take advantage of it while you still can. I hope this helps.
Reply Sat 19 May, 2012 12:31 am
thank you for responding, and yes, I ahve been hinting at it for a few days. but i don't think she like me more then a friend from the way she reacts. I will soon find out...
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