Bush is a whiz at teaching economics

Knowing that you all are fair-minded persons, I would like to point out
the benefits of Bush's economy policy. As you know, old-fashioned
politicians were sometimes given to the tax-and-spend school of
government. This was an extension of the better-known guns-and-butter theory you and I studied in economics. Both documents were thoroughly tested in the past and found wanting.

Tax-and-spend has been completely overhauled and streamlined by Republican efficiency experts and much to the credit of the president whole-heartedly adopted by him. Without boring you with all the technical details, it works like this. Spending is maintained and where possible increased, but the beauty of the new plan is that taxes are decreased and eliminated when and where possible. Do you know how many government jobs can be eliminated at IRS alone? "Why hire a tax collector when there is nothing to collect?" says Bush. I don't know about you, but I can't fault logic like that.

The new plan assumes all money, previously sent to Washington as taxes, will now be redirected by us into private sector spending as soon as all taxes are eliminated. This spending will so invigorate the economy
that taxes can be resumed in the year 2048 and the budget balanced by
2099. Thus in only 100 years, we will be back where we started when Bush lost the election of 2000. This, of course is an example of forward thinking by Bush that not enough people give him credit for.

The president can't claim all the credit, as teamwork among the administration players has played a crucial role. Take Mr. Cheney for
example. He was a quick study in financial matters at Haliburton when he acquired Brown and Root. After the deal was done and its results were revealed, the financial press asked why be bought a company with 4
billion dollars in legal liabilities from asbestos litigation. In a clear show of personal responsibility, Cheney said he thought the losses were covered by insurance. Underlings did not explain the stupidity exclusion of the policy to him. I really believe the stupidity part (he did flunk out of Yale) and appreciate his candor.

As it turned out, the Haliburton-owned Brown and Root only went 2 and 1/2 billion in the hole. There is no truth to the vicious rumor that price gouging and doubling the cost of gasoline sold to the US in Iraq was an effort to fund the shortfall. As proof of this, witness the apple pie and mom ploy of plain old bankruptcy employed by Brown and Root. They say they had no motive to cheat, as they never planned to pay their debts in the first place. Makes sense to me; I vote for acquittal.

When Cheney got back into government and the Washington big leagues
where money is measured with the T word not the B word, he threw
himself into the president's economic policy and was instrumental in helping to raise the budget to 2 and 1/2 trillion dollars. One trillion of which was added in only the last 6 months. Now that the deficit is rising faster than the Bush Mars rocket, one can only wonder what the next 6 months will bring. Even now at an undisclosed energy company bank vault, Cheney continues the good fight in mass destruction of prior surpluses and planning for increased ways to spend money. We apparently still have $6.49 left in the overdue book fines account at the Library of Congress that needs to be given back and he hasn't made
a dent in his list of rich friends that need to be rewarded with special interest legislation. Loyalty is of course much prized by the president. Again nothing to fault Bush on. Besides Cheney has correctly pointed out that Reagan proved deficit spending doesn't matter any more.

*Bush, in an effort shield tax payers from sticker shock, apoplexy and
severe debt anxiety syndrome, has decided to feed us the bad news on
the budget in small bites. The 2 and 1/2 trillion does not include our costs in Iraq and Afghanistan. This will be announced later in the year after we hopefully forget the first 2 and 1/2 trillion and more importantly after the election. Can you remember another president who was this considerate of taxpayers?

Bush refuses to believe that the government can't just declare bankruptcy. He maintains that this is further privatization of the government and therefore by definition a good thing. He cites the Brown and Root bankruptcy as a blueprint for the federal government to follow. This is such good advice that I plan to go out and buy everything I always wanted and then declare bankruptcy. Without the president's leadership and example, I would never have known how to get all the toys and goodies of life without paying for them.

I just can't argue with the reasoning presented by the president, especially after I heard of the wide academic support given him by the Limbaugh School of Economics at its Crawford campus. They have studied the free lunch and something-for-nothing approach to government along with vitriolic diatribes for years and know the subjects well. I know what you're thinking, but lately he has increased his credibility considerably after successfully completing drug rehab. Aid to him from the ACLU has also greatly improved his standing with the left.

The president is modest and as you know he has much to be modest about, but at least remain open to his ideas. In the meantime, if you are in the neighborhood come on by and we can watch some DVD movies on
my new 95-inch HD TV, 7 channel surround sound Dolby THX tereophonic
3-D plasma set that I owe to Bush's economic teachings.

Hold the presses. Bush just informed us that he found another 134 billion dollars to add to his drug bill that he so generously gave us only 2 months ago. Those who said he was a slow study in school, especially in math, are again guilty of under estimating his abilities.

No need to mention any of this to your grandchildren. It can be our intergenerational surprise gift. Besides, they will find out soon enough, so why spoil their impressions of us just yet?

---Anon