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Is it fair to give not common cleaning chore to teen?

 
 
Reply Wed 21 Mar, 2012 12:17 am
I live in apartment on second floor and we have stairs which we share with another apartment. We do not have live in manager in the building so no one cleans this stairs regularly. Every couple of weeks I like to sweep and mop the stairs to keep it clean and keep the apartment less dirty. I have decided to assign this chore to my 14 year old daughter. She says it's not fair that she must do this chore as it's not like we own the building and this is common area. Is it fair to give this chore to my daughter or should I be doing it my self being I have decide that I want the stairs to look clean and keep dust from going into apartment.?
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Type: Question • Score: 24 • Views: 3,807 • Replies: 69

 
MontereyJack
 
  7  
Reply Wed 21 Mar, 2012 12:22 am
yes it's fair. 14, unfortunately, is the age when nothing is fair.
0 Replies
 
engineer
 
  3  
Reply Wed 21 Mar, 2012 04:40 am
@dragonguy,
Of course it is fair. It would be fair to insist your teen do community service or pick up litter from the front of the apartment. How long can it take to sweep and mop steps?
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Wed 21 Mar, 2012 09:17 am
@dragonguy,
agreed with all - wouldn't she like to live some one where it looks nice and is clean?
0 Replies
 
JPB
 
  1  
Reply Wed 21 Mar, 2012 09:21 am
No one ever said that life is always fair.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Wed 21 Mar, 2012 09:56 am
@dragonguy,
Is there a chore inside the apartment that she would be willing to do in exchange for cleaning the common area?
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Wed 21 Mar, 2012 01:48 pm
You are letting a 14 year old tell you what's FAIR about cleaning??!!

Only in the Western world would this be a discussion.

chai2
 
  1  
Reply Wed 21 Mar, 2012 02:36 pm
@PUNKEY,
PUNKEY wrote:

You are letting a 14 year old tell you what's FAIR about cleaning??!!

Only in the Western world would this be a discussion.




This reminds me of our gracie girl. Smile

She's growing up, she hasn't said that lately.
0 Replies
 
dragonguy
 
  1  
Reply Wed 21 Mar, 2012 08:53 pm
@dragonguy,
I offered her a different chore inside the house but she don't want to do that either. She feels it's not equal one. To sweep and mop stair max will take her 10-15 min and another 2-3min to wipe down handrail with a wet rag.
Cycloptichorn
 
  1  
Reply Wed 21 Mar, 2012 09:18 pm
@dragonguy,
dragonguy wrote:

I offered her a different chore inside the house but she don't want to do that either. She feels it's not equal one. To sweep and mop stair max will take her 10-15 min and another 2-3min to wipe down handrail with a wet rag.


I gotta be honest here, 'fair' has nothing to do with it. I did what my parents told me to do when I was a kid, because the alternative just wasn't worth contemplating.

Cycloptichorn
OmSigDAVID
 
  2  
Reply Wed 21 Mar, 2012 10:10 pm
@dragonguy,
Its your idea: do it yourself.
She is not your slave.





David
OmSigDAVID
 
  -1  
Reply Wed 21 Mar, 2012 10:12 pm
@engineer,
engineer wrote:
Of course it is fair. It would be fair to insist your teen do community service or pick up litter
from the front of the apartment. How long can it take to sweep and mop steps?
That is outrageous.
Did she sign up for that??

Government has no foundation unless it is by CONSENT.

Every hear of the 13th Amendment ??????
Ceili
 
  8  
Reply Wed 21 Mar, 2012 10:54 pm
Dave, you haven't a clue about kids. Just stick to defending nuts who shoot innocents. It's your forte...
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Wed 21 Mar, 2012 11:24 pm
@Cycloptichorn,
I was lucky in that some of the first stuff I was asked to do, weed, mow the lawn however lamely once I was big enough to push the mower, shovel snow, make cookies, learn to make silver dollar pancakes, clean up after my mother or father cooked, made me feel part of us.

Making the community work, aka clean stairs, is maybe too abstract for a teen who is naturally zeroed in on unfairness.
I'm not any expert, have only semi raised one teen. But that girl was one I walked with in the tiny house neighborhood with and told her the names of flowers and trees when she was four, and she could do that back shortly after. Not that I was all that instructional, we usually just talked. Her father was super instructional, and that had negative repercussions later, and some positive ones. Daaaaaaad! Her father used to read museum plaques to her, like forever, and I suppose she still despises museums.

But I get dragonguy's view. And so do some police agencies, and I forget the guy who started it all (pre Bratton), an author, re fixing broken windows.

What? I see cleaning the hall as important.
I've just finished Monica Ali's book, Brick Road. The hallway is a significant part of that book.



0 Replies
 
GracieGirl
 
  1  
Reply Wed 21 Mar, 2012 11:27 pm
@OmSigDAVID,
OmSigDAVID wrote:

Its your idea: do it yourself.
She is not your slave.


EXACTLY!
If your the one who wants it clean, then why don't you just clean it yourself? It's totally not fair! Just because we're kids doesn't mean we're supposed to be your little slaves and do stuff just because you don't wanna or don't feel like doing it. And besides, it's the stairs 'outside' of your apartment right? Is your daughter the one who's dirtying up the stairs? If not, she shouldn't have to clean it.
Eva
 
  4  
Reply Wed 21 Mar, 2012 11:31 pm
@OmSigDAVID,
Honestly, David, a parent-child relationship is not a democracy. Nor should it be. Parents and children are not equals.

The father has every right to assign chores, and this one is not excessive for a 14 year old. His daughter just doesn't want to do it. That's just too bad.
OmSigDAVID
 
  -2  
Reply Wed 21 Mar, 2012 11:48 pm
@Eva,
Eva wrote:
Honestly, David, a parent-child relationship is not a democracy.
I did not advise voting.


Eva wrote:
Nor should it be. Parents and children are not equals.
Everyone is free,
unless he waives that freedom and capitulates.
Steadfast refusal to do something
settles the question of whether he or she will DO it.
Its not a democracy; its Individual freedom and the courage to stand up for it.
That is good training for the future; good mental conditioning.




Eva wrote:
The father has every right to assign chores,
I doubt that, Eva.
Whenever someone asserts a RIGHT,
I always ask the origin of that right; where did it come from????

If I claim to have a right against U,
then u can disprove my claim by challenging me that way.
That applies to anyone.




Eva wrote:
and this one is not excessive for a 14 year old.
His daughter just doesn't want to do it. That's just too bad.
As long as she does NOT surrender,
but she has the courage of her convictions, she will prevail.

Nothing can be done to FORCE her to do it.

Possibly, her father might refuse future financial support,
but that is another issue.





David
roger
 
  1  
Reply Wed 21 Mar, 2012 11:48 pm
@GracieGirl,
Ah. One should only do what one decises for hisserher self. Someone should have told me about this long ago.
OmSigDAVID
 
  -2  
Reply Wed 21 Mar, 2012 11:52 pm
@roger,
I 'm sorry. U did not bring it UP.





David
0 Replies
 
Ceili
 
  7  
Reply Thu 22 Mar, 2012 12:06 am
@GracieGirl,
Gracie, I like you. I do. But this situation is as far from slavery as one could get. As much as you see this situation as unfair, I'm sure the father is and will always do more for his daughter. It's the nature of parenthood. As unfair as it seems for a parent to insist a child does something, anything for the upkeep of the household, it's also unfair when a child, who is fully capable of doing more, refuses and expects the parents to do it all. A family is not just parents supplying everything and doing everything for the benefit of their children, it's a cohesive unit that should work and play together.
I live in a house. I not only shovel my snow all winter, but I do my neighbours as well, not because he asked - he's 82, and not because it's expected, sometimes you just do things to make this world a better place.
Everyday I take my dogs for a walk, well... after tonight I only have one.. back to the jist of the conversation.. As we walk, I pick up garbage and throw it in garbage cans. Again, not because I must, I just wanna live in a more beautiful place. This father is not asking his daughter to do anything he wouldn't do, or hasn't done himself.
It's a whole 15 minutes every couple of weeks. How awful could this possibly be that a so called member of mensa compares it to slavery? Rolling Eyes
If you want to change the world, do it one step at a time.
 

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