Is it wrong to be self-centered?

...ogres are like onions...

Go ahead and use this thread to debate your ideas. They have to do with the topic, after all.

Phoenix, that connecting agent is the subconscious. Not quite unconscious or conscious, it relates information between the two. Or have I completely gotten my psychology wrong?

Is it wrong to be self-centered?
I would say "no." Phoenix presented an interesting link that, among other points, told of how right and wrong are all relative. Therefore, being self-centered is neutral. However, the purpose of any biological activity that comes from nature is purely for survival of the species. Aiding life is good, therefore, it is good to be self-centered.

What is the self? In the most relevant entry, the dictionary defines 'self' as a personal interest or advantage. Personal physical and psychological needs and survival of the species both fit comfortably into this definition.

I experience the "auto-pilot" drive almost every day. Because the route is so routine, no effort is required to focus on it and my mind can do any number of other things, talk on the telephone (which may or may not be a self-centered act), listen to the radio, or get lost in reverie or focus on how i can help my wife with a problem. In other words the "auto-pilot" syndrome has nothing at all to do with being self-centered but being pre-occupied, which in itself can be selfish or selfless.

We forget the insignificant parts of our lives, Kickycan. We usually remember the result but not how we got there. For example, if you go on a trip, which do you remember more; the plane ride over or the location and things that you did there?

A silly irony of our language, and contemporary social values, is that when people "stress out," they are advised to "center" themselves. Hmmm, double standard anyone . . . Joe, fill your glass again?

I'm liking this discussion. Thanks for starting this thing. Did I hear something about drinks? I think I need a beer.

I"m trying to understand why, if we forget the insignificant parts of our lives, it necessarily follows that we are self-centered at those times. If you forget those times, then you have no evidence for that leap.

Is there room for a spiritual point of view here? I'm not very spiritual really, but I do believe in the possibility of something outside our selves. Yes, we do forget the insignificant parts of our lives, but does that mean that we are necessarily "centered"? Or could it mean that we are in touch with a spiritual, or "other" side of our consciousness? And if we are outside ourselves at that point, I would assume that we would be outside our selves.

We aren't necessarily outside of ourselves at that point of time. We enter a period of reverie, we envelope ourselves in our little routine--a routine so practiced that it becomes subconscious, or we simply focus on what we are doing. Either way, we are thinking about our own selfish wants, or we direct our attention to how to reach that self-centered goal. Whatever comes out of this period of time is generally not important enough to be stored into long-term memory but that does not mean that it was not a part of our selfishness.

Well, for yogic types this is not a double standard at all. Without a center (which isn't a touchy-feely kind of thing at all; it's simply an active, long spine) a person can't act or react to their full potential. Thus, if one is going to do as much as they can, good or bad, being self-centered is absolutely imperative. Course, there are some religious traditions that encourage us, implicitly if not explicitly, to despise the flesh...

Hi!

I believe self-centeredness, egoism, selfishness, are all behavioral terms, used to describe ones perceived behavior. That means we will say a person is an egoist, if he never shares what he has, if he never lets other people 'in' or uses them only to achieve he's goals, whilst pushing averybody down.
I believe this is defining the above terms in context of social environment; defining them behavioralistically.

I also beleive the original idea was to examine self-centerdness in a more introspective way, observing the functions of a human being and the motives and causes behind them. And of course, what else than self might be found at the bottom of the complex layers of human psyche?
Does anybody really want to claim that underlying zillions of facets and zillions of complex layers that are 'me' is a foundation that is really <B>someone else</B>?

I know that the safety instructions on an airplane explicitly say: In case of a cabin pressure loss, first put an oxygen mask on YOURSELF, and THEN on your child! What good wil it do if you try to protect your child first, and then you BOTH die because you can't protect anybody if you are dead?

I also know that You must first love yourself to be able to love somebody else.

My point is, you really have to straighten inside first to be really able to change your behavior and be consistent. Any attempt to change your behavior only will result in {hypocrisy*}.

Here ya go, PD, a little ditty from our cradle-robbing friend, Donovan Leitch:

Little pebble upon the sand
Now you're lying here in my hand,
How many years have you been here ?
Little human upon the sand
From where I'm lying here in your hand,
You to me are but a passing breeze.
The sun will always shine where you stand
Depending in which land
You may find yourself.
Now you have my blessing, go your way.
Happiness runs in a circular motion
Thought is like a little boat upon the sea.
Everybody is a part of everything anyway,
You can have everything if you let yourself be.
Happiness runs, happiness runs.
Happiness runs, happiness runs.
Happiness runs, happiness runs.
Happiness runs, happiness runs.
Happiness runs in a circular motion
Thought is like a little boat upon the sea.
Everybody is a part of everything anyway,
You can have everything if you let yourself be.
Happiness runs, happiness runs.
Happiness runs, happiness runs.
Happiness runs, happiness runs.
Happiness runs, happiness runs.
Happiness runs in a circular motion
Thought is like a little boat upon the sea.
Everybody is a part of everything anyway,
You can have everything if you let yourself be.
Happiness runs, happiness runs.
Happiness runs, happiness runs.
Happiness runs, happiness runs.
Happiness runs, happiness runs.
Why ? Because.
Why ? Because.
Why ? Because.
Why ? Because.
Happiness runs in a circular motion
Thought is like a little boat upon the sea.
Everybody is a part of everything anyway,
You can have everything if you let yourself be.
You can have everything if you let yourself be.
You can have everything if you let yourself be.
You can have everything if you let yourself be . . .

That explains everything Setanta.

Absolutely, Relative. You are going to have to be self-centered in order to help others who can't help themselves. So in this case, being self-centered is not wrong. In fact, it is absolutely right.

It is important to note that too much of anything is not a good thing.

With that in mind is being self-centered wrong? No. It is the one thing everyone is. They think about any situation and then think of what effect is it going to have on them before they go about doing anything. But too much of it and it is a bad thing. People who every time they pass a mirror have to look into and say, "Man I look good." And then start adjusting hair adding make up, that is the bad side of self-centered.

A person is aimlessly wondering the street not noticing an on coming car but a passerby does not want to save them because they have their brand new jeans on- way too much.

But getting out of bed and coaching yourself into having a good day, making sure you have your shirt button correctly, teeth brushed, making sure you are happy - without hindering another in the process (on purpose)- is (in the definition of the post) good self-centered.

You are talking about narcissism and extreme apathy... I would hardly call those examples being self-centered.

maybe so.

Self-centered (dictionary)- thinking primarily or solely of what concerns oneself, seeing oneself as at the center of a stiuation.

Which means thinking only of what concerns oneself. "Only". Not thinking of anyone else. Only oneself.

That is a good thing? I was going along with the fact that it could be but it isn't. I change my mind.

I think it is kinda dumb not to be self-centered.

What about :

self-centered = to have your self centered

Like balanced, focused, harmonic!!!

Walking over others = ignorant.

There are 2 types of people.....the ones that get walked over, and the ones that do the walking. It's killed or be killed, so why not focus on yourself?

Wild west thing doesn't really come near me.
There's lots and lots of space..
So MUCH space .
And if you're not centered, you just fall into the sea .. of ordinarity.

Job market for example....Does the kill or be killed thing work there? Or do you have more sass?

"Job market for example....Does the kill or be killed thing work there? Or do you have more sass?"

I don't kill my employers, nor do they kill me, usually