WHY I HATE ENGLAND

Man, when you can drive 75, 80 miles an hour, a hundred miles is nothing. I was going through Hamilton once, and everyone was driving like a maniac. I was doing well over 130 K, and i got pulled over by a Hamilton cop. He comes up to my window and says: "All of you clowns out here are doin' over 130, and you were doin' 138, so you get the ticket ! ! !" That was very unCanadian. When he came back with the ticket, he was almost apologetic. Sure, he still gave me the ticket, but he was obviously embarrassed because he had been so rude.

The first time i drove in Texas, i saw county roads with numbers in the thousands . . . that was my first clue . . .

Everything is bigger in Texas, which mean everything has to be smaller in England. A little hate goes a long way.

I was shocked when I drove through the eastern provinces. The top speed limit was 90 or 100 in most places. In AB it's 110 and that's just a suggestion. Mind you, nobody was doing the speed limit. I drove the whole way doing 130 at minimum. I've got a lead foot.
It killed me driving on the interstates. I wanted to punch all the people in the fast lane going under the speed limit, for no bloody reason!!

the left lane is no longer the fast lane, it's the I'm more important than you, and will drive any damned speed I please lane...

except in England, where it is the right and proper lane.

And all the damn trucks, man alive, what the hell is the purpose of them passing all the others trucks slooooooowly. Bastards! I'm telling you, it would be suicide to drive like that up here. You'd get beat up at the next rest stop.

Ya gotta love that . . . anyone here ever read "All Yankees are liars?

sometimes there are really interesting verbal fistfights on the CB.

especially through Chicago.

I learned some new words even...

When i would go to Canadia via Detroit and Windsor, as soon as i got to I75, i'd run into the Canadian truckers, who are blowin' down the left lane, passin' all the passenger cars. The first time i crossed from Detroit to Windsor, i found a sign for Toronto, and found my way to the 401. First, a semi passed me--well, they drive like maniacs in the U.S., so i wasn't surprised. Then i got passed by a car load of blue hairs, and i thought "Whoa, Granny!" Then i got passed by an OPP (Ontario Provincial Police), and i said to myself, screw this. I drove the rest of the way to Toronto at about 70 or 75 miles an hour, and people were still passin' me. (I didn't want to kill the poor old, four cylinder Jeep, she was wheezin' as it was.)

I'm wanted in Chicago. I drove past a toll booth. Who the frack puts a toll booth off to the side of the road? I've been through a ton of them in my life and they've all been dead centre. And holy toll booths Batman, it was almost worse than Mexico...
It's funny, but up here, you can tell it's summer with all the RV's on the road. It's generally some behemoth from somewhere in the states driving in the fast lane doing 30 under. I've seen plenty of road rage from these little encounters. Don't know if I've learned any new words though, I'm pretty well versed in truckers mouth.

Yup, sounds like home..

The thing that I hate about England is that they don't show Stephen Colbert any more, but they do show Judge twatting Judy.

I drove from Houston to El Paso once (ONCE FA GOD SAKES). It took me 2 days. And When I drove, I was haulin ass..

we did Charlotte to San Diego in 3 days one time.

never again...

New Mexico was the hardest part.

Lucky you didn't go by way of Montana. It's just hard to believe how big a state with so few people can be. Good scenery, though.

How many points do you have, girlie? Surprising we have been to meet each other yet - it's only 3 hours from here.

I was in England once and some of us Canadians decided to go to Wales for a long weekend. All their co-workers thought we were barmy. Twasn't but a 4 hour drive to get where we were going. When I was a kid, everybody took their kids on road trips in the summers - it's a way of life. I spent so much time in cars as a kid I used to dream about road signs.

yeh but I slept.

My license is clear.. oh yeah baby!!
Roadtrips.. me too. I've been to every blink and miss it place in AB and BC.
We definitely have to meet. I'm not sure when I'll be Calgary next. My best time from here to there is 2 hr 15 minutes. Wouldn't do that now, not with all the new deputies on the road. I'm supposed to go to Banff in March, I think. Who knows, maybe we could meet up enroute. I'll keep you updated.

Yeah - we used to drive from New Jersey to Texas every summer to visit the 'kinfolk'. To this day, there's nothing I love more than a roadtrip. If I lost my license (for speeding) it'd be like losing my legs. I think I'd go into a depression.
Whereas everyone here speaks as if taking a roadtrip is a chore best to be avoided.

I know why the Brits think that 100 miles is a far piece. Every hundred miles or so in EU land, people speak a different lnguage