WHY I HATE ENGLAND

Ireland is not a part of Britain . . . go out and find yourself a sense of humor, then come back to read the thread again . . .

"We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English."
- Winston Churchill

They have more than one aisle. After all they are always referred to as the British Aisles.

I suppose they have had a build up of aisles since they haven't had a monarch go down an aisle lately for a coronation.

They consistently misspell the word "color".

Joe(among many others)Nation

The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland (commonly known as the United Kingdom, the UK or Britain)
Sorry I did not use the whole correct title so you would know what I am talking about.

Green Witch refers to BillBryson

Read him and you will learn what humor is.........

I've read Bryson, he's a hack, and he's frequently wrong or displays his ignorance. For example, in Mother Tongue he talks about pubs named "Tumbledown Dick," saying no one knows why they are named that. In fact, after Oliver Cromwell died in 1658, his son, Richard was expected to take his place as Lord Protector. But Richard was a poor feeble creature, and he feared the wrath of the royalists, so in 1659, he fled England. The people called him Tumbledown Dick ever after.

Bryson is a hack writer who relies on volume sales from people who don't know his work.

I've got a better sense of humor than you do, and after all these years, i'm frankly tired of your humorless and morose approach to what other people post here. Go away and stop pissing all over the thread.

There is no such place, my Kerry mother would say, as "Northern Ireland". There indeed is a section of Ireland which is still occupied by English traitors, thieves and thugs.

Joe(We expect them to depart any day now.)Nation

I agree . . . but i ain't holdin' my breath . . .

Apropos of something one of my British (Scottish, specifically) teacher friends said to me the other day as we were walking out the gate and to our cars. She said, I guess having forgotten for a minute that I was American, that she was really a little peeved and bothered by the way the world is becoming so haphazard and 'slapdash' in 'their' use of language and of particular concern to her were 'text-speak and American spellings'.

I said, 'Oh, you equate the two do you? American spellings are no better than text-speak in your mind?'
'What if one is American and spelling in America? Is it okay to use American spellings or would you still consider that 'wrong' and or 'slapdash'?

She said, 'Well, I guess I couldn't call it wrong, but I'd still call is 'slapdash'.

To which I replied, 'Well, I'd rather be slapdash than anal and persnickety about something as inconsequential as spelling.'

I add the u's here because basically it would cost me my job not to - but I cannot bring myself to write 'programme'. I go out of my way to find another word to use so I won't have to add those totally unnecessary last two letters that make me feel like I'm living in 'merry olde england and heading to the shoppe.'

And I still haven't gotten a satisfactory explanation for the potato/tomato thing. Why if you say to-mah-to for a word that spelled to-ma-to do you not also say po-tah-to for a word that's spelled po-ta-to?

Noah Webster was responsible for many of the spelling "reforms," such as dropping the "u" from words like color, humor, honor, etc. He also eliminated the "K" at the end of magic, tragic, etc. The English seem to have adopted those changes without injury. I guess at some point someone thought "Oh no! We're getting to be just like the Americans! We need to fight this creeping orthographic pollution!" They are inconsistent in other ways, too. They complain about "gotten" (which is actually the older form--the English use of "got" is the innovation)--but they still use forgotten.

It's silly, and it's fun. I never tire of telling the other people in the English-speaking world they're wrong.

I woulda never thought that of you.

Americans think that 100 years is a long time, while the English think that 100 miles is a long distance.

English: The Silly Putty of Languages.

Joe(God-if there is one- bless it.)Nation

Now that was good one . . .

(Your earlier sarcasm has been noted, filed and will be forgotten.)

I met an Englishman in a restaurant in Woodstock, Ontario, after having driven there from Hilliard, Ohio. At that point i was close to Toronto, so i had already been on the road for six hours, and had driven well over 300 hundred miles (of course, in Canada, everybody speeds, so you can really make time). We were chatting in a friendly way, and i told him that i had left Ohio at about 11:00 a.m. and had been on the road ever since. He looked at me with horror. Then he asked how far i had driven, and when i told him almost 400 miles, he gave me a look as though he thought i were a liar. He was a nice guy, but after that, he treated me as though i were a child fond of making up stories.

Those damn English are so close to the French who we really hate.

Dang mustard eaters.

And in any case, I am led to understand that Northern Ireland, while part of the United Kingdom, is not part of Great Britain; Northern Ireland is, though, part of the islands called the British Isles, according to Wiki. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Britain
Confusing naming business, what? Are the British Isles = Britain? I'm doubting that.

<County Mayo, land of my forebears, I'd like to see it sometime, get me some irish food>

When I was just out of highschool, we used to drive to B.C. to get a two four of Kokanee. This was before the laws were changed, when you couldn't buy and bring booze across the provincial borders. When I told my cousins this they thought I was a first class liar.. It was at least a 700 km round trip. It was fun!!
Around the same time we'd routinely go to Red Deer for coffee. It's at least 100 miles away.

New Englanders aren't any better when it comes to distances.

When I was living in Texas and would tell someone in Connecticut that I had driven over to Odessa from San Angelo to play some music and say that it was just over 125 miles each way, they'd say "What? No way?"

"What do mean?" I'd say, "Some three day weekends, I like to drive up to Grand Lake, OK and that's about 450 each way." (Drive at night and keep it just about 95mph all the way.)

I guess if you are living in Hartford, CT and 125 miles would take you to Rockport, Maine or Edison, NJ or Albany, NY or Provincetown, MA, it's understandable. In San Angelo, you can go due West 300 miles or due East 300 miles and still be in Texas.

Joe(where the X is.)Nation