Bullying: Should I just suck it up, or can I retaliate?

I wouldn't suggest he do the same thing as him, but if he wanted to respond in kind, I think that's not bullying. I don't agree with bullying whatsoever, so I'm not recommending that.

Technically, all I would be doing is responding, just aggressively. I can easily make innocent comments that would give him ammo to use against me, rather than attack him first.

I don't see what satisfaction there would be in bullying him if he doesn't know it's you. Just for the sake of bullying a bully? Hardly seems worth the trouble.

There's a show on Spike tv called Bully Beatdown. People who have been horribly bullied apply for help. The show confronts the bully and offers a fight with the chance to make $10,000.

Most bullies think they're invincible, so they accept.

The bully gets in the ring with a professional anime fighter. For every tap out, he loses $1,000. For a KO, TKO, or resignation, he loses $5,000. The money goes to the bullyee.

Most of the bullyees leave with all the money.

I know it doesn't exactly make sense, but here's the thing: He knows where I live, so I can't really do anything as myself without the risk that he won't come to my house and do something physical in retaliation, whether that be smashing up my family's cars or worse. If I defend a character of my creation as that character, I'm protected by anonymity. He wouldn't know the character, or even where that character lived, meaning that all he could do is talk ****.

Besides, sooner or later he needs to learn that not everyone is just gonna sit back and take his **** without giving it right back.

At least, these are my thoughts.

And as far as the "Bully Beatdown" idea goes, It's a good one. Something I've never considered (seeing as how I've never even heard of it till now). But then that begs the question, what's gonna stop the bully from retaliating against the "bullyee" (as you put it) that made the call to the show?

Unless, of course the "bullyee" is anonymous. I have no idea how that works.

Now, I've read the replies for the topic "What is the answer for bullying?" by trishans, and I've seen a few people propose fighting back as a viable option. And honestly, I believe their arguments make some sense.

How are the bullied the cowards? If anybody are cowards its the bullies.

I hate to sound like a jerk here, but it's the suicide aspect of it that I was referring to. I firmly believe that committing suicide is an admission of weakness, and do not condone it.

So maybe "cowardice" wasn't the right term, but there's my thoughts

Has he threatened you? If so, I'd go to the police.

Your bully is on-line? Christ almightly kid, virtual reality is virtual. Its not real.

You want to **** this person up? Go join the Anonymous group. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anonymous_(group)

Once inside the organization you will be able to talk to very good hackers who can teach you how to wreak revenge on the fellow who has harassed you.

I'm with those who suggest there can be no true satisfaction unless the bully knows that the retribution is coming from you.



Not in my experience.

My experience with a bully who tormented me in 7th grade was just what you'd expect to see in an After School movie or Jean Shepherds A Christmas StoryT

This kid was older and a lot bigger than me and I had him in my gym and shop classes. His name was Bob Lemon, like the Cleveland pitcher and Yankee manager. He picked on me every day and at one point even gave me a pretty good burn with a soldering iron.

One day while walking out to the baseball field for gym he spit on my back. For some reason it was the final straw and I turned around seeing red through a haze of tears, and rushed him; punching him as hard as I could in the face.

I figured he was going to kill me after I hit him and I just stood there crying and dumbly waiting for the beating to commence.

Instead he got all nervous and even scared and said something like "Hey man, I was just kidding!"

I only got the one punch in and it didn't result in anything dramatic like a bloody nose or black eye, but he obviously didn't like getting hit in the face.

As trite as it sounds, he actually left me alone after that. He'd call me names from time to time, but the real bullying ended.

I learned a good lesson from that episode, and it wasn't that bullies are cowards, it was that other kids really did not like getting hit in the face. For most of my youth I was much smaller than kids my own age and so if there was a fight I usually got overpowered and wrestled to the ground. Typically my assailant would sit on me pinning my arms with his legs and either feed me dirt, grass or bugs or would drip spit on my face.

From that day forward whenever I got in a fight I went straight for a punch in the other guy's face. It almost always ended the fight right then. Unfortunately some kids weren't all that upset by a punch in the face and if they were a good bit bigger than me, a whupping would result. I had my nose broken on three different occassions before I finished the 10th grade. During that summer though I grew about 7" and miraculously most of the fighting came to an end.

I suggest you confront him and aggressively demand that he cut the **** out. If he's like my bully and movie bullies, there's a fair chance he'll back down... but be ready to sucker punch him at the first opportunity.

Since you're both adults, it's probably not good advice to punch him, but I would skip the anonymous prank attacks...unless you think they'll satisfy you. And then do it up right. Put an ad on Craig's List saying you have to move quickly and are giving the contents of your garage and backyard for free beginning at 6:00am on a Sunday morning. It's an old trick but a friend of my son has had it played on him twice and it's nasty.

What the hell: have FUN!

R u sure that he CARES significantly about what is written on-line ??

If he discovers it, r u prepared for self defense ??





David

I disagree with that; it depends on how he looks at it.


I agree with that,
tho I have no personal experience therewith.





David

Considering that it was just threatening a punch to the face, and the fact that he hasn't done anything yet, I don't think the police need to be involved yet.

And besides, I have no idea where he is, and I think the police are already looking for him for some other, unrelated matter. If they don't know where he is, they can't exactly do anything.

It may not be real, but it doesn't change the fact that it is affecting me.

Is he doing anything that affects your relationships with other people?

As in, if the problem's on Facebook, can't you just block him?

It's one thing to ignore in the sense of horrible things are being said to your face and you have to put effort into ignoring it.

It's quite another to just erase it completely. No idea it's there because you can't see it.

I've already de-friended him. Don't know if I can block his communications. The fact is, though, the damage has been done.

And as far as his actions affecting my relationships with others goes, I don't think they are.

And actually, Hate to break it to you kuvasz, but cyber-bullying is just as real and effective as real bullying. People have killed themselves over this.

I like that - mind if I use it as well?

The biggest revenge you can take is defriending him and deleting his email without opening it. (Note that this takes discipline. You will always be tempted to open it.) The worst thing you can do to a cyber bully to to make him irrelevant.