@roger,
hey, I just called the lawyer, and it's simpler than I thought roger.
I hadn't thought about that my husband and myself would be the primary beneficiary, and executors of each others will.
It's only if we both croak that the 30 year old become executor.
So, what was really missing was the THIRD alternative, which is like, screw that as far as I'm concerned.
The lawyer said in the event all 3 of us were gone, couldn't serve, it would just be administered by the State, which is fine, since as I said, it would be going to some select people, and charities. They can just wait.