Sozlet stories

Good one, sozlet!

Sozobe, I always read this thread everytime it is updated - and it's *always* fun/interesting. Watch out - you're raising a sharp one there!

It's always good to know that people are reading, helps motivate me to actually write. Thanks for letting me know, _Heatwave_. :-)

(This one's not entertaining though, just slice-of-life...)

The kid's never really liked changes/ transitions... she loves having adventures, but likes to have a basic routine. She's definitely ooky about school ending, generally being a handfull. Lots of little things, nothing egregious, but it's definitely adding up.

For example, the other day she was playing outside -- kids chasing each other with spray bottles -- and she wanted to wear her precious, wonderful, priceless pink goggles. I said she could but to keep track of them. After she was done playing and back inside, there was a trail of stuff all over the place -- bikes, sidewalk chalk, etc. -- including the goggles, just laying in the driveway, ripe for getting crunched by car wheels. I told her to go clean up her stuff, while I cleaned up my stuff (I'd been gardening). She did, with a lot of complaining and foot-dragging and general un-cooperativeness.

A bit later I realized I didn't know where the goggles had ended up, and asked her. Blank stare. She asked ME where they were. I said I didn't know, she was the one who put them away. She started tearing around the house looking for them. Nothing. Garage, yard.... nothing. Then she started insisting that she'd given them to me, and that I'd put them somewhere. I hadn't seen them since the driveway. She started getting very upset that her goggles were lost. General high emotional dudgeon and not listening to reason. I remembered that we had another pair and said she could use those next time we went to the pool. She was mollified, for the moment. Was still generally tetchy though.

The next day, I had to water some plants and filled my watering can. Saw something in it -- the goggles. Brought them over to her, and said "I was filling up my watering can and guess what I found...?" She clapped her hand over her mouth and said, "Ohhhh.... riiggghhhht. I forgot I put 'em there. Heh."

General theme -- I ask her to be careful about something, she's patently NOT careful, she gets upset, I get upset that she's upset about something so preventable... etc.

Argh.

I have a lot of stuff planned for this summer but it doesn't really kick in until late June -- hope we don't drive each other absolutely bananas before that.

JoeNation posted a wicked cool kite fying video in another thread the kiddo might enjoy.
http://www.kitelife.com/videos/demo/bethell_promo.htm

That's fabulous!

The problem is definitely at least partly me -- I'm a bit panicky about not having a set amount of time every day to take care of stuff. I'm working and doing volunteer stuff and doing just household kinds of things, and have gotten really used to having 2.5 hours a day every day that I can rely on to accomplish things. There still aren't really any kids in the neighborhood during the day, even in the summer -- they're all off at daycare, both parents work -- so I can't just shoo her out and have her play. (She will sometimes play by herself outside for a long time but it can't be planned on, sometimes she's in the mood and sometimes she isn't.)

There will probably be a lot of playdates, there are about 8-10 kids that she regularly plays with and if she's there, I have time, and if they're here, I have time too since they just go off and play and I only really have to intervene or if there is blood or severe hunger pangs. Then there's the pool -- several of us have talked about doing a sort of a pool duty rotation, where one mom keeps an eye on several kids at the pool. (Monday it's my turn, Wedesday it's Mom A's turn, Tuesday it's Mom B's turn, etc...)

And she's reading up a storm, actually going off to the couch or laying out in the yard and just plain reading for chunks of time, that helps too.

It'll be fine. Definitely a huge difference from last year, since we know so many more locals. We've just showed up at the pool a few times since it opened and each time there has been at least 2 friends there, often more on the order of a dozen.

(Yes, I'm trying to talk myself down... might even be working! :-))

((((((((((((((sozobe)))))))))))))

(329th verse, same as the first...)

This time it was her swimming suit. Disappeared. Not in clean clothes, not in dirty clothes, not in closet, not in pool bag -- gone gone gone. Last time I'd seen it it was on her. After it had been missing for weeks, she came running downstairs with it. Great! Finally! Where was it?

She dragged me upstairs to show me. She pointed to the far corner of her closet, back behind some shelves. I asked what it was doing THERE?! She said brightly, "Oh, that's where I put my swimsuits."

Argh.

Then there were the shoes. We went shopping and she saw some shoes she Simply Had To Have. They're sort of... instead of describing them, here they are:



They looked uncomfortable, I didn't want to get them. She begged. Pleaded. Pointed out that they were on sale. Please please please. Finally, she offered to buy them with her own money. (She's been getting a small allowance.) I kept saying that they looked uncomfortable. She said, "Oh, but I just LOVE their style!" (No, that was later, when I was recounting the story to E.G., because he and I looked at each other in a "oh no what are we in for" way when she said that...)

Anyway, I let her get them, with her own money. There was more drama after that, about buyer's remorse, she didn't want to part with her money after all, I offered to return them, she didn't want to return them, and drama drama drama.

It's been one thing after another...

Trying to get this week nice and scheduled with playdates... it's been too cool to go to the pool.

...oh and did I mention the giant "BORED" sign she made and waved around while marching up and down next to my desk while I was trying to get some work done? Kind of important, deadline-y work? No?

Argh.

Make up a big sign that says Busy.

I know you dont need advice....But- lost items at home do NOT get looked for by parents. lost items do NOT get replaced (at least not immedialtly).

Your stuff, your responsibility sozlet.

It will take a long time soz and you will need to be strong, a little like training a puppy.

I think you should take my advice I'm SUCH an expert! (thats sarcasm)

SonofEva was about sozlet's age when he learned not to bother me about being bored.

I made a list. The title was "Things To Do When I'm Bored." It included things such as reading, drawing, pulling weeds out of the front flower bed, cleaning the floor of his closet, picking out 10 toys he'd outgrown to donate, etc., etc. I came up with about 25 things.

The next time he came whining to me, I gave him the list.

"But...but...I don't want to do any of those things!" he said.

"How do you know?" I answered. "Have you tried any of them today?"

"Well, no...but..."

"Go try them. In any order you like. When you've tried all of them, come back and talk to me."

I didn't see him for the rest of the afternoon. I doubt he did any of them, but that wasn't the point. He found something to do without bugging me again.

A few days later he complained about being bored again, and I reminded him about the list. 'Nuf said. It worked for a long time.

Last week he came to me. He'd been out of school for one week. "I'm bored," he said. "Can you think of anything fun I could do? And please, don't make me one of those lists!" I told him that I was old, and he wouldn't like any of my ideas. Besides, I reminded him, there were lots of jobs he could do in the garden.

He disappeared before I could name them. :wink:

Sounds like a candidate for camp to me. Lots of adventure, lots of basic routine. No shiny pink torture shoes that she's "just gotta have". Was there a reason this doesn't work? I vaguely seem to remember some discomfort with YMCA, or Girl Scouts, or whatever it was.

[quote="dadpad"]Lost items at home do NOT get looked for by parents. lost items do NOT get replaced (at least not immedialtly).

Your stuff, your responsibility sozlet.
[/quote]

That was my first reaction, too, but then, my little one is only eleven months old, and it'S probably easy to have theories and good plans!
We'll see how everything looks in three to four years time!

Oh, she knows all of this stuff, and usually does all of this stuff. This is a girl who, the week before school ended, took her book out in the yard and read for an hour when I got some work finished. She's usually very good about keeping herself occupied, and even with the "bored" thing, I just cut her a look and she said, "I KNOW," and then disappeared to make a very complicated construction with her blocks.

As dadpad correctly noted, not going for advice here, just a) venting and b) trying to get some ballast into the general sozlet portrait (she's not always perfection).

The scheduled (trips and summer camp) part of her summer starts in about two weeks. This is pretty temporary, and is mostly about her bad mood about school ending. (She loves loves loves school.)

I've been in touch with several people about playdates and to a person everyone has had the same response, "Yes, please, my son/daughter is driving me crazy!"

You're very lucky. As one of them librul parents who teach their kids to question authority, you literally asked to be picketed from time to time. Be careful what you wish for ....

Welcome to summer vacation, Mom!

I survived those early years by scheduling camps & activities nearly every week of the summer. Art classes, zoo camp, Scout stuff, soccer league, theater camp, swimming lessons...you name it. The more variety the better. He loved it. There was something new to do every week and no homework! It's just been the last couple of years that we've slowed down. He wanted more at-home time so he could play computer & video games. And sleep late. Sleep is a big deal to teenagers, even young ones.

Next year I'll schedule something for immediately after school ends, like a trip. This year there wasn't really anything available that was interesting + affordable for this time slot. Starting in about two weeks she'll be mostly scheduled for the rest of the summer. (A variety of different things -- trip to MN, summer day camp out in the woods, acting camp, art camp, science camp, etc.)

I also purposely don't want her TOO scheduled though -- most of the camps are half-day, the rest of it will be for miscellaneous goofing around.

She had a 4-hour playdate today; it was here but they were off doing stuff the whole time but I got a ton done, we're both much calmer and are looking at a couple of more fun activities before bed. Plus her tooth came out -- it had been really loose for a while and was bothering her, was probably part of her mood. (Both front teeth are now out, she keeps doing vampire faces.)

Quickie snapshot:

Sozlet is wearing a very full, long, frothy cotton skirt in a light butter yellow, and a t-shirt in the same shade. Braids in her hair, fastened with dark pink hairbands. Dark pink shoes. She is laying down on the ground, under a car, fixing the door.

(She was keeping E.G. company as he attempted the project, and had some ideas of her own, which turned out to be on-target, and did much of the fix-it project herself. He called her a natural.)

(I just realized that I knew that they worked on it but not the outcome -- they didn't actually successfully fix the problem. But E.G. was impressed that she found things he hadn't noticed and helped him remove various things to take a closer look, and then replace 'em when they were done.)