He’s going to have two daddies

Do not forget the man is getting the word of the parents feelings in a very indirect manner so who know for sure how must truth is or not is being convey.

Unfortunately this won’t be the last time something like this will happen. Personally I’d rather Antonio not be around those type of people but I’m going to take him, of course I will voice my opinion to the parents just before I leave.

I'm sorry, Morgan. People just suck sometimes.

That's true. And I doubt that you'll be able to keep Antonio away from all the people who might feel this way, nor do I think you should try to do that at this point in his life. It depends a lot on how those people treat Antonio, as well as how they actually treat you and Morgan when they actually get to know you, and whether they are receptive to getting to know you.

I'm very sorry Morgan won't get to attend this party, but there will be lots of other parties in Antonio's future that Morgan will hopefully get to attend. I understand that Morgan is very excited about being a step-dad to Antonio, and he wants to share in all the experiences of being a parent, but I really wouldn't make a big deal of this particular party. I can think of a variety of reasons that two daddies accompanying a child to a large party of 5 year olds might not be overly welcome, and not all of those reasons might mean that the parents hosting the party, or other parents attending the party, are necessarily homophobic or disapproving of same sex partners raising a child. Maybe they are, maybe they aren't. Maybe a same sex couple is just a social situation they are unfamiliar with, and feel awkward about, or maybe they just don't want their own 5 year olds asking them all sorts of questions about homosexuality they don't feel ready to answer or they feel their children are too young to understand. Maybe they just don't want each child to show up with 2 parents--if 20 children will be at the party, 40 adults really makes it quite a large crowd. Maybe they want to focus on the children and keeping them entertained and under control without 40 adult guest/chaperones also involved.

There are are all sorts of reasons they might want to limit parental attendance and the hosts of this party have a right to do that--for whatever reasons they might have, including feeling uncomfortable, or even disapproving, about a same sex couple accompanying a child. While I do not share such views, I'm not sure a very large birthday party for 5 year olds is the right time or place to try to change attitudes or break down barriers. A few decades ago, people might have reacted similarly to an inter-racial couple, and now that's something that most people have grown accustomed to seeing and feel more comfortable about. And I think that's happening with the increasing acceptance of gay couples, gay marriages, and families headed by same sex parents. The more familiar it becomes, the less negative, and awkward, most heterosexuals will feel about it. And as those people see children, like Antonio, growing up happy and well adjusted in a two-daddy household, that's going to help change attitudes even more.

What's important is that Antonio enjoys the experience of attending the party without sensing any tension about it--you go to a party to have fun, to have a good time, and that's all it should be about for him. It shouldn't be odd for him that only you will take him, maybe next time Morgan will be the one to take him. It's a kid's party after all, and a chance for Antonio to socialize with a lot of other 5 year olds, and, I think that's all the day should be about. He doesn't have to concern himself with what the other children's parents are thinking about his particular family, nor should he in any way be put in the middle of that kind of situation, he should just go to the party and have a good time. And, quite honestly, I think you should try to do the same.

Attitudes will change and become more accepting, and as these other parents continue to see Antonio thriving and happy, and as they continue get to know his two daddies, I really think that will happen very naturally. Will all people wind up being accepting? Likely not. But enough will so that the others won't matter at all.

Good point, Eva. The whole of the environment we are surrounded by matters, and the sixties and early seventies were fermenting times.

Still, in some places, they seem to be fermenting backwards now, by my view, yet I do think the change for the better is inexorable.

Thank you all for the kind words and support!

I admit I was a little ticked off last night but I’m over it. As long as Antonio can go and have a good time with his little friends that’s all that matters. I never thought it would be a big deal. I certainly didn’t think anyone would take a moral high ground about it.

I picked up Antonio from school and we stopped by toys r us and bought a cute little present brought it home and he helped wrap it. Now we are off to our Friday night family dinner in downtown St. Pete.

Have a good evening!

Useful post by Firefly.

As a single dad it's all depressingly familiar, people look at households with children and no adult female with the same prejudice they look at women in high powered jobs. It's all a load of bollocks. My wife died when my son was 4 and my daughter 12. Seven years later my daughter has got a place at a top University and my son is doing really well in his new school.

Your little boy will get all the female interraction he needs at school. Most primary schoolteachers are women, it's not necessary at home. I'm sure he'll grow up feeling loved happy and secure. Don't listen to the bigots, I don't, they're full of ****.

So adult females role models and family children interactions with women inside the family is of no worth? Females teachers can and will full that role??????

Sorry as yes children can indeed be raised in one parent and or two parents one sex households successfully however that fact does not in any way or in any manner dismissed the fact that having close daily inactions with family members of both sexes is a very good thing to have in children lives if at all possible.

No family raising children can claim to be ideal and I am sure that you had done a good job of raising your children and the the boy we are talking about on this thread with two loving men in his life is very likely to grow up as a fine young man.

However neither of the above take anything away from the fact that children do benefit by having close relationships with adults of both sexes.

I'm sorry that you were put out when my wife died. Guess what? It put me out too.

A very strange reply indeed......................

Are you similarly prejudiced about giving fathers full custody of their children after a divorce? For an alleged champion of men's rights, you seem to think there is something wrong with men raising their children which seems quite odd.

You are also raising another straw-man to argue against. No one is saying that a child shouldn't have interactions with adults of both genders. And most children, including those raised in one parent households, or with same sex parents, do have such contacts. You seem to forget that children also have grandparents, aunts, uncles, older cousins, godparents, etc. who are part of the family, in addition to possibly having a non-custodial biological parent they might have contact with, and that close family friends of both genders are also part of their lives. In addition, they spend time with the parents of their friends, their teachers, their coaches of sports teams, scout leaders, etc. Children are not raised in the sort of vacuum you seem to think exists. Their parent(s) are hardly their only significant or influential adult contacts or role models.

My my people add a lot of things to my posts and give me a lot of positions that I had never taken.

I was in fact addressing the amazing claim that female teachers can take the place of females adults living in a household or at least being daily involved in the family as role models when raising children.

Nothing at all about custody or whatever you somehow read into my post.

It is better overall to have positive adults of both sexes inside a family or at least very close to the family when raising children then to not have that condition was the beginning and end of my position.

No more and not less and those adults roles models do not need to be a married couples!!!!!!!

Now let see what strange things you are able to read into this post Firefly.

I see Round 7 of the firefly/BillRM slug match has begun.

There is nothing "amazing" about the claim--it's a very valid comment. A young child may spend considerably more time with a female teacher than he could spend with either a single working mother, or a single working father, or with two working parents, in the course of a day. Children spend most of their day in school, and many are also in daycare after school, or in the care of housekeepers or nannies, because most parents work. And most children interact with extended family members who do not live in the household, family friends, the parents of their peer friends, etc. on a fairly regular basis. Children do not grow up in a vacuum--their world is comprised of considerably more than their immediate household.

It is nonsense to assert that you always need adults of both genders living under one roof to provide children with some sort of optimal or positive experience as well as adequate role models. When the divorce rate is 1 out of every 2 marriages, that is hardly possible in most cases, nor is it even necessary. Most children grow up surrounded by role models of both genders--not all of whom are at all positive--in addition to being bombarded with role models by the media, particularly the entertainment media. And, for school age children, their peers are a significant form of influence.

Men these days shop, and cook, and clean the home. And women encourage their children's participation in sports and cheer their teams on. Where are these hard and fast "gender roles"? What sort of unique "role model" does a female in the home provide for a child? People are individuals, and their personalities, and not just their gender, is a far greater influence on how they parent and whether they can adequately meet their child's needs.


I think you have raised a non-existent issue. Most parents not only want this, they provide it for their children by allowing their children to have contact with extended family members, with close family friends, with the parents of their peers, with paid adult caretakers, with coaches, with scout leaders, and certainly with the teachers with whom the child spends most of the day.

So, are you saying you just don't approve of same sex couples raising a child? What exactly do you think such children might be missing out on? Why is it better to have "positive adults of both sexes inside a family"?

Bill knows as much about bringing up children as he does about sentence construction. I came on here to leave a message of support, and instead I get criticised by some sad old git, obsessed with the rights of perverts to look at images of rape, torture and bestiality. I'm a good enough parent to keep my children well away from a sick piece of **** like that.

Not sure how I missed this thread but I'd just like to say I'm happy for all of you and I hope that you all have a lifetime of happiness.
The little fella sounds absolutely adorable and he's a very lucky boy to be surrounded by so much love.... and his own bathroom. Speaking as one of 5 kids, who grew up in a one bedroom house. I hope he appreciates all the effort. Not now, of course, but maybe in the future, when he's a surly teen.

Female teachers who have 25 children or so in a classroom can not interact in the same manner as a mother or an older sister or aunt or grandmother with a child.

That is not their jobs first of all and it is beyond anyone abilities to do even if they would wish to try.

Footnote, I was lucky to have two fathers myself as my mother father spend as must time with me as my father did, living on the same property, however I would had been poorer even so but for my mother and grandmother also living in the same household.

That is not to say that children can not be raised in one parent households or two parents one sex household but as I seen before Firefly wish to be so PC she is willing to take insane positions and or back insane positions.

She also delight in adding or trying to add positions that I never taken or even dream of taking to my postings.

For what it is worth I think that any child that have two loving adults no matter what their sex happen to be is a very lucky child indeed even if he or she lack a role model of one sex or another inside the family.

Now let see how Firefly is going to spin this post.

You don't know a thing. I'v done a fantastic job with my kids. I've made sure they're kept away from sick nonces like you.

Once more your replies are strange indeed as in none of my posts had I attacked the job you had done with your children or that single parents on the whole are doing with their children.

My only position is that on the whole all others things being equal children benefit from having two sex role models inside the family and teachers outside of the family is in no way a replacement for sex role models inside the family.

My wife raised children as essentially a single parent and in my opinion did a damn good job in so doing.

Frankly I can not see for the life of me what your problem could be with those statements.