He didn't buy it,
Even though she asked him for
A few carnations.
A few carnations
Can make me sneeze profusely
Allergies you see
Allergies, you see,
Are the cause of every ill,
Even World War Two.
Even World War Two
Was not the end of all wars,
Still more would follow
Still more would follow
And sell their true lives away
To get on TV
To get on TV
People sometimes act like fools
Why do we watch them?
'Why do we watch them?'
I guess some folks watch to make
Their lives seem fuller
Their lives seem fuller
When they bake their own fresh bread
So, the Smiths baked often
So, The Smiths baked often,
And they threw cookies out to
Audience members.
Audience members
Threw rotten fruit at the stage
Actors threw it back
Actors threw it back,
The weird tangerines they slung
Instead of roses.
Instead of roses
He gave her a new vacuum
The marriage was dead
The marriage was dead
On arrival; he wanted
To go to Skegness.
To go to Skegness
With a lovely young mistress
What a cad he was!
What a cad he was,
That James Hewitt. Why do some
Think that he's so great?
Think that he's so great?
Well, I am not among them
He's nothing but trouble
Nothing but trouble
and that's just why I shot 'im.
Good riddance to trash!
Good riddance to trash!
I am throwing out all these
Awful books of yours
Awful books of yours
How can you read such piffle?
Don't let the door hit...!
Don't let the door hit
my foot. I've already done
too much damage there.
