We'll live forever;
closets bulging with debris
of centuries past.
____________
The wheel was invented so we could move faster.
Credit was invented so we would have to.
?- Cullen Hightower
Of centuries past
Most citizens know nothing:
Caesar? A salad!
Caesar? A salad,
or a misheard phrase in a
crowd. Seize her, she's mine.
crowd. Seize her, she's mine.
though lately I've been hearing
she's Tom Cruise's bitch.
She's Tom Cruise's bitch,
when she's taken all her pills,
other days, she's yours.
Other days she's yours!
As long as I have the boat
Thursdays and Fridays.
Thursdays and Fridays
I'm at the arboretum
Communing with trees
Communing with trees,
Morris bells at my knees and
a song on my lips.
A song on my lips
Just makes ev'ryone I know
Dive for the ear plugs!
Dive for the ear plugs!
Sometimes it's an advantage
To be partly deaf.
To be partly deaf.
Sad, unless playing possum -
Selective deafness!
Selective deafness
As in, I can't hear you when
You point out my faults
You point out my faults;
none of them are mine. Look and
see your own image.
______________
If you can't be kind, at least be vague.
?- Judith Martin, United Feature Syndicate
See your own image
When you look in the mirror
Vampires excluded!
Vampires excluded
by silver chains and very
aggressive bouncers.
_____________
There is always an easy solution to every human problem - neat, plausible and wrong.
?- H.L. Mencken
Aggressive bouncers
Are all those tennis balls that
Hit you in the eye
Hit you in the eye
with lemon cream pie, topped with
zest of lemon peel!
Zest of lemon peel
Gives Veal Piccata some zing
Just ask Emeril
Just ask Emeril
"Where's the nearest McDonald's?"
See his furtive glance.
_______________
Go on. Play hooky once in a while.
?- Leigh Anne Jasheway
See his furtive glance
At your impressive cleavage
Is he now blushing?
