“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
~ George Carlin
“When all is said and done, more is said than done.”
― Lou Holtz
“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”
Robert McCloskey
“The pendulum of the mind oscillates between sense and nonsense, not between right and wrong.”
― C.G. Jung
“A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small parcel.”
― John Ruskin
When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon, 'Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?' He answered, 'If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you.'
jerry lewis
"I am a poor lost woof from the kennel of Fate looking for a dog to belong to.
--Saul Bellow
“Seeing how sorrow eats you, defeats you.
I'd rather write about laughing than crying,
For laughter makes men human, and courageous.”
― François Rabelais, Gargantua and Pantagruel
“People who try to pretend they're superior make it so much harder for those of us who really are.”
― Hyacinth Bucket
If you go flying back through time, and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it’s probably best to avoid eye contact.
- Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts (Saturday Night Live)
This is Clem Fandango, can you hear me?
Hipster intern from comedy series Toast of London.
“Give to every other human being every right that you claim for yourself - that is my doctrine.”
― Thomas Paine, The Age Of Reason
"England is a Nation of shopkeepers" - Napoleon Bonaparte
MAYBE NOT! This sentence, although said by Napoleon, can't be truly attributed to him. This expression had already been used before by people like the welsh economist Josiah Tucker and by the scottish philosopher and "Father of Economy" Adam Smith. The attribution of this expression to Bonaparte is a misconception. In fact, Napoleon's doctor later published the story of a conversation in February 1817 in which Bonaparte used the expression but made it clear he was quoting Pasquale de Paoli.
"Money is the root of all Evil" - Saint Paul.
OR NOT! What Saint Paul actually said was "The Love of money is the root of all Evil".. and not money itself.
"Let them eat cake" - Marie Antoinette
There is absolutely no proof that this was ever said by Marie Antoinette. There is a story that is told by Rousseau about a "great princess" that when it was told to her that the poor people had no bread to eat replied "Qu'ils mangent de la brioche". Brioche, a superior quality bread, was the only one the princess knew. It is possible that one of the french revolutionaries was responsible for the attribution of this to Marie Antoinette.
"Elementary my dear Watson" - Sherlock Holmes.
It might surprise you but this was NEVER mentioned in any of the original books of Arthur Conan Doyle. He does use, however a similar sentence in The Crooked Man, published in 1893 and only later added to the Memories of Sherlock Holmes edited in 1894 and even then it is part of a dialogue in which Watson (after a long explanation from Holmes) says "Excellent" and Holmes replies simply : "Elementary".
"Play it again Sam" - Humphrey Bogart
In fact, this quotation, often associated with the actor in the film "Casablanca" was said by Ingrid Bergman in the same film. In the scene she is the one who says "Play it Sam"
"You dirty rat" - James Cagney
This is a funny one. Although every artist who ever tried to imitate Cagney's style has used this quote, the actor himself sweared he never said it, not even once, in any of his films.Cagney is famous for his Ganster films and even now this sentence is used as a "tribute" to him.
"Luke, I am your father!" - James Earl Jones (As Darth Vader)
The actual quote would be "No, I am your father". (So as you can see.. Luke wasn't even in the sentence)
"IF I can't dance, I don't want to be in your revolution" - Emma Goldman
What she actually said was "I did not believe that a cause which stood for a beautiful ideal, for anarchism, for release and freedom from conventions and prejudice, should demand the denial of life and joy. I insisted that our Cause could not expect me to become a nun and that the movement should not be turned into a cloister. If it meant that, I did not want it." (Although I can see how they got that... it is indeed quite different)
@edgarblythe,
According to a documentary I saw recently, “Elementary my dear Watson,” was popularised in a play that came out shortly after the books.
@izzythepush,
izzythepush wrote:
According to a documentary I saw recently, “Elementary my dear Watson,” was popularised in a play that came out shortly after the books.
James Bond refined it to, "Alimentary, Dr. Leiter."
"Some people are like Slinkys..they serve no function but they're a lot of fun to watch fall down the stairs"
-unknown
Maths without Language is like dehydrated water.
Filipe de Albuquerque
“Who's they?" He wanted to know. "Who, specifically, do you think is trying to murder you?"
"Every one of them," Yossarian told him.
"Every one of whom?"
"Every one of whom do you think?"
"I haven't any idea."
"Then how do you know they aren't?"
"Because..." Clevinger sputtered, and turned speechless with frustration.
Clevinger really thought he was right, but Yossarian had proof, because strangers he didn't know shot at him with cannons every time he flew up into the air to drop bombs on them, and it wasn't funny at all.”
― Joseph Heller, Catch-22
“Meow” means “woof” in cat.”
― George Carlin
“May the wind under your wings bear you where the sun sails and the moon walks.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit
