"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before."
- Mae West (1892-1980)
A lot of people don't have much food on their table
But they got a lot of knives and forks -
And they gotta cut something
I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died. ~ Richard Diran
A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
"Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.” –Sue Murphy
A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.
"Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible." --Dalai Lama
When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.
~ Groucho Marx
One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.
- Kurt Vonnegut
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.
if I could do it all again
I'd do it just the same
just wouldn't do it with you
Lazarus in Brooklyn - Reid Paley
(Ha, dj, I know that feeling!
“It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards.” - Lewis Carroll
“If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?” -–Abraham Lincoln
“Man should forget his anger before he lies down to sleep.”
- Mohandas Gandhi
“Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.”
- Phyllis Diller
It's useless to hold a person to anything he says while he's in love, drunk, or running for office.
“Women don’t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think – in a deeper voice.”
- Bill Cosby
- if the law so supposes, the law is a ass.
Mr. Bumble (Dickens' Oliver Twist)