Your Quote of the Day

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

"If I want any **** from you I'll invent a time machine, go back to your first overnight camping trip, and scrape it off your Uncle's dick." -Steve Quinney, to a heckler

“There is nothing more important than appearing to be religious.”
― Niccolò Machiavelli

“The moon went slowly down in loveliness; she departed into the depth of the horizon, and long veil-like shadows crept up the sky through which the stars appeared. Soon, however, they too began to pale before a splendour in the east, and the advent of the dawn declared itself in the newborn blue of heaven. Quieter and yet more quiet grew the sea, quiet as the soft mist that brooded on her bosom, and covered up her troubling, as in our tempestuous life the transitory wreaths of sleep brook upon a pain-racked soul, causing it to forget its sorrow. From the east to the west sped those angels of the Dawn, from sea to sea, from mountain-top to mountain-top, scattering light from breast and wing. On they sped out of the darkness, perfect, glorious; on, over the quiet sea, over the low coast-line, and the swamps beyond, and the mountains above them; over those who slept in peace and those who woke in sorrow; over the evil and the good; over the living and the dead; over the wide world and all that breathes or as breathed thereon.”

H. Rider Haggard, She.

“If a man makes me keep my distance, the comfort is, he keeps his at the same time.”
― Jonathan Swift

Take yer pick
“People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.”
― George Orwell

Winston Churchill
“We sleep safely at night because rough men stand ready to visit violence on those who would harm us.”
― Winston Churchill

That reminds me of this sketch.

and ambien....don't forget ambien

“To learn one must be humble. But life is the great teacher.”
― James Joyce

We live in a society where pizza is delivered faster than calling the police.

Had to google ambien.

One careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes several boxes to start a campfire.

“If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.”
― Dave Barry

I'd say "disagreements."

“No matter how old you are now. You are never 2 young or 2 old for success or going after what you want. Here’s a short list of people who accomplished & (against the odds) great things at different ages…
1) Helen Keller At the age of 19 months Helen became deaf & blind. But that didn’t stop her.She was the first deafblind person to earn a Bachelor of Arts degree
2) Mozart was already competent on keyboard & violin, he composed from the age of 5
3) Shirley Temple was 6 when she became a movie star on “Bright Eyes”
4) Anne Frank was 12 when she wrote the diary of Anne Frank
5) Magnus Carlsen became a chess Grandmaster at the age of 13 years
6) Nadia Comăneci At age 14, gymnast of Romania scored seven perfect 10.0 and won three gold medals at the Olympics
7) Tenzin Gyatso was formally recognized as the 14th Dalai Lama November 1950, at the age of 15
8) Pele soccer superstar was 17 years old when he won the world cup in 1958 with Brazil
9) Elvis was a Superstar by age 19
10) John Lennon was 20 years & Paul Mcartney 18 when the Beatles had their first concert in1961
11) Jesse Owens was 22 when he won 4 gold medals in Berlin 1936
12) Beethoven was a Piano virtuoso by age 23
13) Issac Newton at 24 wrote Philosophiæ Naturalis Principia Mathematica.
14) Roger Bannister was 25 When he broke the 4 minute mile record
15) Albert Einstein was 26 when he wrote the theory of relativity
16) Lance E Armstrong was 27 when he won the tour de France
17) Michelangelo created the two of the greatest sculptures “David” and “Pieta” by age 28
18) Alexander the Great by age 29, had created one of the largest empires of the ancient world
19) J.K.Rowling was 30 years old when she finished the first manuscript for Harry Potter
20) Amelia Earhart was 31 years old when she became the first woman 2 fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean
21) Oprah was 32 when she started her talk show, which has become the highest-rated program of its kind
22) Edmund Hillary was 33 when he became the first man to reach Mount Everest (highest Mountain in the world
23) Martin Luther King jr was 34 When he did the speech “I have a dream”
24) Marie Curie was 35 years old when she got nominated 4 Nobel Prize in Physics 1903
25) The Wright brothers, Orville (was 32 ) & Wilbur (was 36) when they invented & built the world's first successful airplane & making the first controlled, powered & sustained heavier-than-air human flight
26) Vincent Van Gogh was 37 when he died & virtually unknown yet his paintings today are worth millions
27) Neil Armstrong was 38 when he became the first man to set foot on the moon
28) Mark Twain was 40 when he wrote The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and 49 years old for Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
29) Christopher Columbus was 41 when he discovered the Americas
30) Rosa Parks was 42 when she refused 2 obey bus driver’s order 2 give up her seat 2 make room for a white passenger.
31) John F. Kennedy was 43years when he became President of the United States
32) Henry Ford Was 45 when the Ford T came out
33) Suzanne Collins was 46 when she wrote “ The Hunger Games”
34) Charles Darwin was 50 years old when his book On the Origin of Species came out
35) Leonardo Da Vinci was 51 years old when he painted the Mona Lisa
36) Abraham Lincoln was 52 when he became president
37) Ray Kroc Was 53 when he bought the McDonalds Franchise and took it to unprecedented levels
38) Dr. Seuss was 54 when he wrote “the cat in the hat”
40) Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger III was 57 years old when he successfully ditched US Airways Flight 1549, in the Hudson River in, 2009. All of the 155 passengers aboard the aircraft survived.
41) Colonel Harland Sanders was 61 when he started the KFC Franchise
42) J R R Tolkien was 62 when the lord of the ring books came out
43) Ronald Reagan was 69 when he became President of the United States
44) Jack Lalane at age 70 handcuffed, shackled, towed 70 rowboats
45) Nelson Mandela was 76 When he Became President”

I was only 2 when I stopped pooping my pants

"Hear me people: We have now to deal with another race - small and feeble when our fathers first met them, but now great and overbearing. Strangely enough they have a mind to till the soil and the love of possession is a disease with them. These people have made many rules that the rich may break but the poor may not. They take their tithes from the poor and weak to support the rich and those who rule."

- Chief Sitting Bull speaking at Powder River Conference in 1877

You gotta take Lance Armstrong off the list; he cheated.