Don't Mess with My Oreos

Forums: Food, Community, Weirdness, Oreos, Rituals
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Yes, I like Oreos. When I was sick, they were the only chocolate on the planet I could eat without choking. I can eat other stuff now, but I still have a package in the house for emergencies.

First I gotta say that I'm not interested in anything but the original oreos. Don't care about double stuffed, vanilla, strawberry, chocolate covered, or (heaven forbid) low fat. I want an Oreo that's an Oreo.

Now comes the weird part. I have ritualized my Oreo eating. How so, you wonder.

First, I hate that steenkin' easy open package. They can take the package (sans the Oreos) and shove it. I want my Oreos to slide out on a tray in neat rows of threes. I eat them in threes. I cannot and will not eat Oreos that are not in multiples of three.

Let's say I take three Oreos. I eat one straight. No unwinding and licking. No dunking. The second one is unwound and licked. The third is dunked in cold milk. If I take six Oreos, then I have to decide whether to have them one-one-one and one-one-one or two-two-two. Such decisions.

I've thought about this. (I've got a lot of free time on my hands.) There are no other foods that are so ritualized in my life. In fact, I don't have rituals with any other foods.

Some may view this as one of my numerous eccentricities, but I think this is just plain weird.

Do you have a food or something else that requires special ritualized actions? C'mon. If I can confess to such weirdness, so can you.

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Type: Question • Score: 24 • Views: 31,716 • Replies: 210

@Roberta,

I am thinking you need to found a religion.

As for ritualized eating, yeah, it tends to be a part of dieting, at least for me. There was a while where I was eating a package of soy nuts while at work. One. Eat slowly, taking the cover off with my teeth (it's edible, it's just a different texture so it was something to, well, fetishize), slowly eat that, then the soy nut. Then the next one, etc.

This would take hours (hey, I had time to fill and not a lotta calories to do that with) and half the time I'd end up with a handful at the end of the day, that I would then proceed to eat all at once as I raced out the door to the bus. Smile

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@jespah,

Hey jes, This is impressive. Ritualized (with a bit of fetishism) soy nut eating. I like the shove 'em in your mouth at the end of the day part.

Thanks for sharing. And whatever the hell you were doing paid off. Svelte.

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@Roberta,

thanks!

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@Roberta,

Muchly my life is a ritual.

Without further ado I shall bite the ceremonial biscuit.

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there are certain foods that MUST go together:
glass of milk with bologna, P & J or tuna sandwich. Since I am not a milk drinker (never have been one) I don't always have it on hand. Tough choices.

Green beans with any kind of chicken.

Peas with pork.

MUST have beets on my Greek salad.

Shredded wheat is the only cereal I will eat.

I see they now have a flat, pillow shaped marshmallow - so the S'Mores will not gush out when pressed. What a loss. That was half the fun.

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@PUNKEY,

It seems to me, Punkey, that you're talking about matters of taste rather than rituals.

Milk with bologna is a matter of taste--yours, not mine.

But lining up M&Ms in order by color and eating them in that order is a ritual. Do I do this? No. But I know someone who used

Thanks for jumping in.

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Let's say I have three or more meal items in front of me, such as chicken,
rice, and bok choy. I eat a bit of the chicken, a bit of the rice, and a bit
of the bok choy. I repeat this sequence in order, trying to make it come
out even.

This does not apply if one of the items is lobster.

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@George,

George, I can understand the problem with lobster. I like the rest of it, though. Making things come out even. A real challenge. Requires concentration and planning.

LOL, Which side of the ceremonial biscuit do you bite?

What a guy.

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@Roberta,

When we were little, a friend of my brother used to get himself invited to our house for dinner quite often. He had this quirk that none of the food on his plate could 'touch'. We kids thought it was weird (funny), but our mom indulged him and I now realize it's not all that uncommon (I've met others, not many, who share that peculiarity).

Anyway, the other night as I was helping myself at dinner, I realized that I was being very careful to make sure nothing I put on my plate was 'touching'. Eek...it kinda scared me.

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@Irishk,

Irish, I'm eeking with you. Oh, the horror. Food touching food! When I was little, I couldn't understand how people could put two different kinds of food in their mouth at the same time. Piece of meat, piece of potato. Eek. I got over that.

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@George,

Ha! I'm just the opposite. I eat around my plate - one item at a time. I'm left handed and eat with my fork/spoon in my left hand. I eat whatever is at 9 o'clock on my plate until it's gone. Then I rotate my plate counter-clockwise until there's something at 9 o'clock. That's what I eat next. I continue eating and rotating until the last portion ends up at 9 o'clock.

I don't do goulash.

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@JPB,

J, I can't tell you how I would have looked up to you when I was little. Someone who understood! Now I congratulate you on your slightly eccentric but tres interesting approach to a meal. Food at nine o'clock!

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@JPB,

Hmmm . . .
Question for you. If you've got four things to do on a given workday,
are deep into one one of them, and someone suddenly raises the
priority of the next one to CRITICAL, does that drive you bonkers?

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Does wine with every meal count?

Joe(What wine goes best with scrambled eggs?)Nation

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@George,

Welcome to my life. I have an A pile, a B pile, and a C PILE (if that's what you want to call the rest of my office). I do a lot of pile shuffling between A and B. Sometimes I dig deep into C looking for that folder that just got lit on fire. Everything starts out in the A pile. Many of them end up in C.

I'm pretty "go with the flow" on changing priorities. What drives me bonkers is an ever-changing scope of the project.

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I don't have any such foolish rituals or requirements. Food is food . . .

. . . of course, different foods must not touch on the plate . . .

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@George,

George wrote:

I repeat this sequence in order, trying to make it come
out even.

I do that with Smarties. I spend a bit more time organizing them than I probably need to.

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When I eat french fries, I pick up two of similar length, press them together, dip them in ketchup and bite off half of both of them, then dip them in ketchup again and eat the other half of both of them.

I first noticed several years ago that I do this unconsciously and consistently- but only with french fries.
I never pick up one or three, but always two, of similar length, having measured them with my eyes, and I always have the ketchup in a little pool on my own plate, knowing I will be double dipping.

I never pour ketchup over the french fries as I see many other people do - because you don't get consistent ketchup coverage that way.

When I eat asparagus - I always eat the tips first - always.

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When I was a child and we had mashed potatoes and corn at the same meal, I used to shove a forkful of corn into the mashed potatoes so that I had a blended mouthful of starch. I did the same with peas.

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Don't Mess with My Oreos

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