Ok, I'll talk back now. Firefly has been the only one who keeps trying to help you here.
You were the one who brought up student loans. Firefly has been almost preternaturally patient with you.
I am disquieted by your circumstances, JGoldman, but you will take that as insulting. I think you need help and do not understand why you are not getting it; I am guessing your mother cannot cope.
I hope you get help.