Will Americans know what the f*** Cheryl Cole is talking about

I suppose you're right there, real strong dialect is fairly unitelligible, but there are elements of dialect in accents. Dialect is really the use of non-standard English vocabulary, that's not a recent phenomenon like slang 'Bairn,' is a good example. When I was in Crete on holiday, the barman learnt most of his English from a Geordie tour guide, so he used the word 'bairn' for child. A lot of people from the South of England didn't know what he meant.

Guess they don't read then, I've heard the term from scots a lot.

Crete is hot and in the med, it has very cheap booze. Flights to and from the UK are very cheap. That means you get a lot of British tourists there that are just interested in that, and not really anything else, especially not reading.

Benidorm in Spain is just like that, and is really a place to avoid. Crete has got the palace of Knossos, the cave of Zeus and all sorts of classical ruins, which is the sort of thing I'm into. You've just got to put up with Sun readers.

I'll remember that. I'm hoping to go to Greece this fall. By the by, we've got Sun readers here too, it's not as bad as Murdoch's brand but not much above...

Honestly Crete is absolutely beautiful and the people are wonderful. I've not been to mailand Greece or any other of the islands so I can't comment. One thing about Europe and newspapers is the best place to get one is at a railway station. I've always been able to pick a Guardian up there.

I've never been to mainland Europe. I've always wanted to go, but it's just not in my budget yet. Greece or Crete (hadn't thought it before) seems reasonable. With my skin tone, believe you me, it's not for the sunbathing. I'm very interested in seeing the ancient world wonders, food and the people. I've picked up the guardian on occasion, I definitely read it online quite a bit. I'm not up on the gossip section though, haven't a clue who's popular on that side of the pond.

I really don't know what to suggest. I've only been to a few places myself, and everywhere I've gone to has its own charms. I took my mate on holiday to Amsterdam last year. That was the first time he'd been, and now he doesn't want to go anywhere else.

Italy is extremely beautiful, if you want to look at really gorgeous classical architecture Florence is incredible. I think it's one of the most beautiful cities on the planet. I've only been to Tuscany so I can't really talk for the rest of Italy.

Germany and the Czech republic are also very beautiful, but in a more gothic way. If you're going in Autumn it will still be quite warm along the Mediterranean coast, and you should be able to go swimming in October.

To be honest I don't really know. There's loads of places I still want to go, Berlin, Vienna Copenhagen. I wouldn't try to get too much in in too short a space of time. You don't want to spend most of your time stuck in a coach.

I'd look at things like exchange rates, and the cost of flights/hotels. Than can make a big difference. You can do a lot more with your money in Prague than Vienna for instance. That's why I've been to Prague and still want to go to Vienna.

I can only talk about what I know which isn't a huge amount, but if you've got any questions about where I've been I'll try to help out.