@ehBeth,
For me, a nuance (or at least information that I haven't yet seen) is what his survival chances were at the point that she stopped giving him medication. What I read indicated that his chances of survival were very good at the
outset of the whole thing, but she stopped two years in, when (she said) he was doing really badly and she felt like the cancer meds were worse than the cancer.
So:
1.) If she had continued to give him medication (from the point at which she stopped), what was his prognosis?
2.) How bad was he at that point, really, in general? I definitely sympathize with stopping cancer drugs for someone who will be dying soon anyway, to improve the quality of remaining life.
She acted irresponsibly no matter what. But there seems to be a pretty big spectrum of of possible scenarios (just how irresponsibly) from the info I've seen.