chai2
 
  3  
Reply Tue 5 Apr, 2011 06:22 pm
@dyslexia,
dyslexia wrote:

what I've been wondering this evening;
when should you be "nice'?
vs
when should you be "honest"?
vs
when should you change/avoid the subject?
serious question. (I'm not meaning questions such as "do these pants make my ass look large?")


I respect honesty more than being nice for niceness sake.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Tue 5 Apr, 2011 06:24 pm
That word is so ******* weird....nice.

nice nice nice nice nice nice nice

The more you say it, the less appealing it becomes.

Be nice
That's not nice

Being nice, gracious from the heart is one thing.

Being nice because you "should" be, is being controlled by others.
0 Replies
 
dyslexia
 
  2  
Reply Tue 5 Apr, 2011 06:25 pm
@chai2,
so are you cranky or bitchy?
Diane
 
  5  
Reply Tue 5 Apr, 2011 06:26 pm
@ossobuco,
Osso, you are absolutely mistaken in your assumption that my post had anything to do with you. It didn't. If you are really upset by something that does not involve you, I'll pm you with the name of the person to whom I was referring.

As for the goddamned buttermilk biscuits, it's all up to you.
margo
 
  1  
Reply Tue 5 Apr, 2011 06:31 pm
@msolga,
msolga wrote:

Quote:
My bloody kangaroopaw died.

Mine, too. Embarrassed
I blame the drought.

Me three! Confused
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Tue 5 Apr, 2011 06:33 pm
@dyslexia,
dyslexia wrote:

so are you cranky or bitchy?


just jaded today.

dyslexia
 
  1  
Reply Tue 5 Apr, 2011 06:37 pm
@chai2,
yeah, I know the feeling, makes me cranky.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Tue 5 Apr, 2011 06:47 pm
@Diane,
I had to click back and forth to see what you were saying.

I was talking about these threads in general, not so much about them but about why I no longer do it.

I've participated in them for some years, probably started some of them. I learned to give up as people posted sheer wrong stuff, over and over. It got to be cryably hilarious. That was what I was talking about and why I have been quiet here.

Re your sentence, I don't know what you are talking about. I was trying to explain why I am not part of the chorus, I don't follow the thread. I consider that Bob knows I love him.

I don't know what post of yours you are talking about, much less who you are referring to - I missed all that.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Tue 5 Apr, 2011 06:55 pm
@dyslexia,
dyslexia wrote:

what I've been wondering this evening;
when should you be "nice'?
vs
when should you be "honest"?
vs
when should you change/avoid the subject?
serious question.


generally, when it feels right to you

when it's with people who are the pathway to a resource - emphasis on the honest

when it's nobody's stinkin' business, change/avoid the subject all you want

if it doesn't cost you something to be nice AND it might be meaningful to someone else, nice can be a good choice
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Tue 5 Apr, 2011 06:59 pm
Ah, Diane took me as Cicerone.

Another reason I avoid a thread like this.

0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Tue 5 Apr, 2011 07:44 pm
Today I made my first biscuits with lard. I've never ever used lard before. Not only that, it was lard I chortled in the slow cooker, which I think I mentioned on a2k before. So, oldish cold lard, but it looked ok .

The bad news is that biscuits were delicious (I breached the zone by adding some ground up rosemary and tad of basil). But, the biscuits weren't flakey, as the lard wasn't chuncky either.

Back to joy of cooking.........

Still, even my miserable biscuits tasted good.
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Tue 5 Apr, 2011 07:45 pm
the thing is, dys likes lard..
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Tue 5 Apr, 2011 07:55 pm
@ossobuco,
Sorry, tangent.
0 Replies
 
Eva
 
  3  
Reply Tue 5 Apr, 2011 09:35 pm
@dyslexia,
dyslexia wrote:

what I've been wondering this evening;
when should you be "nice'?
vs
when should you be "honest"?
vs
when should you change/avoid the subject?
serious question. (I'm not meaning questions such as "do these pants make my ass look large?")


I think you already know the answers, down deep in your heart. "Niceness" is a matter of being kind to others, which you are. "Honesty" is something you owe to yourself. Feel free to change/avoid the subject whenever you don't feel like talking about something. You don't owe anyone a discussion if you're not ready to talk.
0 Replies
 
Roberta
 
  1  
Reply Tue 5 Apr, 2011 11:27 pm
@dyslexia,
dyslexia wrote:

what I've been wondering this evening;
when should you be "nice'?
vs
when should you be "honest"?
vs
when should you change/avoid the subject?
serious question. (I'm not meaning questions such as "do these pants make my ass look large?")


I don't give a flying **** about being nice. If I do or say something that it viewed as nice, fine. But my immedicate objective is never niceness. Niceness isn't as bad as sweetness, but it's close.

Honesty is extremely important to me. Way up there. One of the advantages of communicating through writing is that you have time to think. I have time to find a way to be honest without hurting people's feelings. I don't want to hurt anybody, but I don't wanna lie.

I avoid the subject (don't respond) as a last resort. This happens when it's clear that I'm not getting through, not being understood. Or when I'm dealing with someone who doesn't care about communication or understanding. Someone who has to be right and doesn't listen.

Are you suggesting that my pants make my ass look big? I don't blame it on the pants. A big ass is a big ass.

Edit: I really like the questions you raise, cowboy. Made me think.
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Wed 6 Apr, 2011 01:49 am
@Roberta,
I think you are the nicest person I know.


And Dys too.

You're both so awfully nice.
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Wed 6 Apr, 2011 05:43 am
@dlowan,
I await the rami-percussions of that.
Roberta
 
  1  
Reply Wed 6 Apr, 2011 05:57 am
@jespah,
Not to worry, jes. If da bunny wants to think I'm nice, I can take it. Nice (or seeming to be nice) may be a side effect, but it's never my goal.

Of course there's the chance that the bunny was not being entirely sincere. Hey, bunny. It's not nice not to be sincere.

I don't think dys is nice. It's too damned bland a word for him.
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Wed 6 Apr, 2011 06:00 am
@Roberta,
No, no... nice fits you both to a nicety!
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Wed 6 Apr, 2011 06:54 am
@Roberta,
Roberta wrote:

I don't think dys is nice. It's too damned bland a word for him.


It's too damned bland a word for anyone, except for bland people.
 

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