How many children is too many?

IMO I think 2 is enough.

Wow, haven't seen you in a while!

I think that you know the answer to this. If you have a child, regardless of whether or not you REALLY want one, you'll love him or her. It's yourself you'll hate.

It sounds to me like you aren't ready to make that decision yet. Why do they have to be a certain age apart? It would be better to give yourself a little time.

Do you want another baby or do you want another child? That baby is only a baby for a short time. You'll have another toddler, preschooler, grade schooler, high schooler, college student...you get my drift.

I don't see a problem trying for a boy but be 100% sure that you draw the line if you only want 3. Girl or boy, that would have to be the end or you could be trying forever.

The thing you don't want to be doing is having a new baby right at the point where the last one is about 18 months and at the most critical point for learning language (everybody forgets about teaching the 18-month-old to talk). Kids with that experience can get to eight or nine before teachers and everybody else figure out they're not retarded.

If a woman has TOO many kids she's going to wear her body out. I think you should have what you think and feel you can AFFORD to have.

child-bearing is never wrong.
Children are the only value that remains after us.
Giving birth is healthy for a woman.
Women with many children get serious illnesses less frequently than women with one child.

If a woman has too many kids, her body can break down.

False. Some people do not want children, but are careless about prevention. They often neglect and abuse their children. Some people cannot afford to feed or give children the basics for survival and the child suffers or dies. Our world does not have infinite resources, so only people who want children should have them. If a woman does not want to be a mother, or have more children than she can take care of ,or is not healthy enough to give birth, she should have options to prevent getting pregnant.

Your good works are all that matter. Raising a happy, healthy, compassionate child can be one of those good works. Many great things have been invented or done by people who did not have children. Many good people have given birth to bad people, so there are no guarantees.

Complications from childbirth is still the number one killer of young women in this world. Women in poorer countries often suffer for a lifetime with untreated problems due to giving birth.

There is some evidence that women who give birth are less likely to get breast cancer, but other than that there are no real advantages. After two children, women tend to suffer more from depression and issues such as weakened bladders or collapsed uteruses. The happiest women in the world are those who are educated, have some financial resources, family stability and have control over their own bodies.

Right on!

Hey when you develop a v*gina and give birth, then you can feel free to discuss this :-D Let me know when that happens

:-)

This is completely untrue, in fact it is not even close.

In low income countries 2004 statistics, there were 447,000 deaths of women aged 15-59 due to "Maternal conditions" (which includes maternal hemorrhage, maternal sepsis, hypertensive disorder during pregnancy, obstructed labor and complications of abortion).

During the same time there were about 1,300,000 (almost triple the amount) due to infectious disease. For younger women HIV/AIDs is a significant killer.

In "Middle Income" and "High Income" countries there are even fewer deaths during pregnancy.

I don't know if you are trying to make a political statement with this claim, but it isn't a factual statement.

source: http://www.who.int/healthinfo/global_burden_disease/GBD_report_2004update_full.pdf

I think these also pretty dubious (if not overly broad) claims.

I humbly give you the point, Max. I was thinking of a Doctors Without Borders article that talked about women being unable to access condoms and combined the birth figure with the disease figure. I also should have specified I was focused on women in countries with limited clinical care due to instability, poverty and conservative patriarchal social systems . I actually do know better. My statement about untreated problems following birth should also be attached to those countries with limited resources for women, as it is obviously not a problem in places like the US or Europe. My other statements I stand by as general reality for the rest of the world. So yes, I still think it possible to have too many children and sometimes that too many can just be one.

It is important to not let your political views get in the way of a factual understanding. Instability, poverty and "conservative patriarchal social systems" are very distinct issues.

The term "Patriarchal" is one of those politically loaded words with a rather fuzzy meaning (it can be applied to any system you don't like). But let's consider Saudi Arabia as an example of a "patriarchal system" which happens to be stable and high income.

It turns out that the Maternal death rate in Saudi Arabia is quite low (18 per 100,000 births) which is far below the world average and equivalent to New Zealand (15) and and South Korea (20). This is far below the world average (203 per 100,000 births) . The highest rates are in the most impovrished nations including the Central African Republic, Malawi and Mozambique (all at 1,100 per 100,000).

It seems clear to me that poverty and stability are the primary reasons for Maternal Mortality. Rights for women, or "patriarchalness" don't really matter that much in this respect.

source: http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/hea_mat_mor-health-maternal-mortality

Hi Crazielady, Mismi has a thread where she's trying to sort out some work/family balance stuff. She has three school-age sons. She's got some comments re scheduling and finances that you might want to take a look at.

Mismi's a great lady- I'm sure she'd be able to answer some really direct questions from you.

http://able2know.org/topic/171046-1