Read my topics?

no not at all I am an open book I use my real name for a reason. I want futher research and understanding about this disease. Hmmm ok my memory is not best. So bear with me if I leave out some details and Ill probaly jump from one thought to another. That is dificult to control for me Well I am 40 years old Some of my earliest memories that I can describe as delusional comes from when I was in the military. Oooh wait before I go on please do understand that I did not come to accept my disease till I was about 35 or 36 years old. Ok anyways during the gulf war ........the first one My assuption is the logical reasonal person would be thinking about people dying or maybe the patriotic pride of serving your country. Or maybe just hey im doing a job to feed my family or something logical like that. Hehe not Mr schitzo here Nope when I was not preocopied with my duties I was having discutions with myself about walking in the same desert that Abraham, Moses, Jesus, Mohamed, and all those great teachers that help develop our society as we know it. I wanted to see what they saw. Study the culture ..... wich by the way still exists fairly close to the way it was 2,000 years ago. I saw people and goverments that are completly run by using religion. I found it facinating I am the level of comiment. For example stop the entire country trafic evreything to pray 4 times a day. Wow I was amased at how the teachings of someone can be used in that manner. I mean I read the books....... the teachings are simple and basicly comon sense..... Be good to each other..... respect your family and neighbors............ well realy when you take all the mystical stuff out of the way the books basicly say "Do the right thing". Ok there I go again Im writting a book instead of a sentence sorry ill try to narrow it down a little. Ok so anyways my seargent recomended me to see a proffessional for a mental evalution..... Now remember this is still a war zone lol I was outraged Meeeeh need to see a shrink?? Fine you want to play that game ( those were the thoughts in my mind) Soo when I went to see the specialist I changed it by saying "You know my seargent is under alot of stress I hear him say how much he missis his family and how he only has another month till retirement......ect) . Well after I got back to Germany the dilusion was completly diferent. Then I felt I had some conection to being a Mage and that evreything I did afected something...... that whent on for about a year or so. Wile the whole time mind you not I always have this voice that I have discutions with. Well those are 2 examples that falls in the 18-23 year old catagorry I hope that made some sense

Wow, isn't that something? This is meant as a compliment but it may not come out right. You have schizophrenia and understand the basics of the bible and there's people out here that I know that call themselves Christians that have no clue. I think that is great!

I belive that Because I have this disease it helps me to some aspects. Because I live in a partialy delusional world. That means that im also looking at the world in a different point of view But then again felling grandiosity is also asociated with the disease

I have to say it certainly seems as if you have a rather healthy outlook on your disorder. I have been out of mental health for a long time so there may have been new medicines that have changed the way some things are but the hardest part about mental illness for the clients was they denied they had a problem. But, yet, here you are, admitting what is going on and having a firm grasp on it. I think that is marvelous. I wish my sister could get to that point.

Well thank you if you want post my replies on other revelent places. Because I would like to answer as many questions as posible to advance the Understanding of this disease To me theres seems to be alot of speculation of what exactaly it is

I seen the titles and am becoming rapidly pissed off by them. I choose rarely discuss the subject of schizophrenia it's too personal. (mother was one. Well in a way she was three, perhaps four if we include the suicidal pyromaniac weilding a knife but that happened only a few times and I count it not )

I see that at time present time there are 6 schiz. topics recently started by you that's 7 too many, I asked myself and learned that was the answer.

I get edgy when schizophrenia is presented as a topic, it's really more about my issues wth it than you. Anthills anyway. I see topics read many, respond here and there.

I dont understand? Does exposing my disease so myself and others can better understand it make you upsed? But why? please clarify thank you

I'd have to discuss the 1950s, 60s, 70s, 80s and part the 90s. Leave it as I said, It makes me edgy, it's my problem not yours.

okies Sorry if I caused any bad memories. Its just that you have a disease that has the stigma in our society that this one has ( for expemple 70% of americans think that people with this disease should not have any wieght on its own medical treatment (by the way there is no cure for this disease yet) and that 70% of people with this disease should not handle their own finances. Well I understand this is a devistating and dilabititating disease. Trust me on that one I have personal experince on that part But knowing I have this disease I dont see a future. Its been progressivle getting worst. I see a time when I will be too far gone in order to make any sense at all. I know live in a dark room with a computer screen. I walk to the kitchen and to the bathroom a few times a day. Those are my current daily activities. What happens the day were im under some delusion and decide to urunate on the street. And start arguing with the officer handing me a tickit. Because some left field thing that I was arguing over in my head? Would I be enough of a nusiance then? Enough that you would be willing to pay a large part of your income to house me in a penentry facility? Well as outrageos as that sound that os the unitated states primary care for the mentaly ill. So my condolences and I am sorry if I pull some nerves on the subject. But I dont have anything left to lose now that the mind is going. So at least let me document my experinces so I can get coments and a better understanding of what happening to me. blah sorry there I go writting a book again. I just wanted to say Im sorry I dint mean to insult or hurt you in any way

Im sorry my mind goes off to left field like that sometimes. Im realy just trying to serve a purpose. Maybe some young med student reads my post and and ends up grabbing intrest. Maybe enough of thoses and we can find a cure. I dont know. I guess im just hopefull. Well at least one of my voices are

Ohh and almost forgot Thank you for reading my topics

OK..I think that I can sort some of this out and perhaps shed some light and to understand a little better where you are coming from (besides all directions).

For better or worse, these things are some of my thoughts:

1. You have a varying or an elastic ability to edit the thoughts in your head and in text. The 'governor' in your mind is different (and stretchier at times) than most other people's. This could be very creative for some people (depending on the degree) but sounds like it's too exaggerated a symptom(s) and is causing you dysfunctionality in your life.

2. Discrimination between the voices and thoughts in your head historically has varied depending on how severe your schizophrenia has been. What jumps up at me is this question: have the voices made you do anything that hurt yourself or others?

3. You could benefit by putting the most important things to do or pursue on a list. Write down what the things you need to do and seek as far as your treatment goes. Flitting about from one treatment or med to another (or different ideas offered here) may dillute your efforts and energy.

3. You need to actively involve yourself with a real support system in real life and online as well. This could mean meeting up with a group and/or shrink. Talking things out regularly and have someone check in with you, maybe even daily perhaps, depending on how successful meds are at helping you discriminate between thoughts versus voices.

4. Not sure how likely a cure is for someone with such pronounced symptoms of schizophrenia. Seeking a 'cure' might be a tougher goal. Finding ways to minimize your symptoms and have your life be more functional might be more useful. However, I'm not a doctor nor a shrink - just a little guy here on the Internet.

Not sure how coherent what I have offered you is or even if these points were discussed earlier. All of these different threads are hard to follow and frankly I haven't tried but I have skimmed them to get a general sense.

hmm im not sure if im doing the quote feature correctly but if you follow high seas link it may ancer some questions about the treatment i been under

evrey thing I do is guided by my voices hmmm lets see how to explain this. Its like being in a conferance were no one person is more important then the next. Now think of that conference being your thought process Well its great you always have more than one opinion on the matter. But have you ever try to concetrate on doing something like reading this paragraph And some one starts talking to you? It is disabilitating! Well does what I say make any sense?

I have understood how you describe the problem and symptoms. You have low discrimination power in editing out or arbitrating who 'wins' in the battle for your focus and where you go with your focus.

BTW, did you ever have a head trauma accident (concussion) where your head was struck or did this just develop over time? Forgive me if I missed that. A simple yes or no answer is fine.

no accident car accident I had delusional sytoms as long as I can remember. But its been getting worse over time. I dont want to expeculate too much if eviromental issues has any effects in the progression of the dissease. But in my opinion there needs to be more research done in the exact causes of it. Sorry im getting of the toppic again