8
   

Alternate evolution of "man"

 
 
chai2
 
Reply Mon 29 Nov, 2010 08:18 pm
What if, instead of evolving from apes (some part of the ape family) the dominent, most intelligent species on Earth evolved from some other animal?

I can imagine if man evolved from dogs, people would be more accepting of their place in society, and would more readily follow their leader.

Cats? Every man for himself. No such thing as the institution of marriage, religion or social workers. We would have great fashion sense though. I mean, c'mon, we'd look good in anything.

What would society be like if man had evolved from horses?
How about dolphins, drop bears or canaries?
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Type: Discussion • Score: 8 • Views: 5,131 • Replies: 25
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chai2
 
  1  
Reply Mon 29 Nov, 2010 08:39 pm
ok look.

I think we should all go over to chumley's cannibis thread and get smoked up before we can have an intelligent conversation about this.

I'll meet ya'll back here in 20 minutes with bags of chips and snicker doodles.

What about goats?
What if we had evolved from goats?

Discuss.
edgarblythe
 
  2  
Reply Mon 29 Nov, 2010 08:44 pm
@chai2,
If humans had evolved from passenger pigeons, they likely would be dead.
If from skunks, there might be no perfume industry.
0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Mon 29 Nov, 2010 10:34 pm
If we'd evolved from Turtles, we would never have gotten to the moon.
Rockhead
 
  1  
Reply Mon 29 Nov, 2010 10:54 pm
@Mame,
but we'd have no housing shortages.

pass the chips, please...

is there dip?
0 Replies
 
Old Goat
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Nov, 2010 01:46 am
@chai2,
"What about goats?
What if we had evolved from goats?"

Young goats or old goats?

Mame
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Nov, 2010 01:57 am
@Old Goat,
We'd all be kidding each other, let's face it.
Old Goat
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Nov, 2010 02:06 am
@Mame,
.....And probably be horny most of the time.

Would we then celebrate RAMadan, do you think?
0 Replies
 
Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Nov, 2010 04:16 am
Both of you deserve severe pun-ishment.

If we had evolved from oliphants, we'd be knee-deep in poop all the time . . .
0 Replies
 
Ionus
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Nov, 2010 06:26 am
If we had of evolved from microbes we would be very tiny and could have lots of noisy parties every night and the neighbours wouldnt complain. We also wouldnt need clothes as there would only be one sex.

If we had of evolved from mammals all females would have tits. If we had of evolved from horses no woman would say neigh.
Pemerson
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Nov, 2010 09:35 pm
If we had evolved from cats we'd be so cute with those long whiskers and big round eyes. We wouldn't need toilets either. We'd just dig a little hole and.....er, you know. We'd love rubbing up against each other, too.
Pemerson
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Nov, 2010 09:39 pm
@Ionus,
Ionus wrote:

If we had of evolved from mammals all females would have tits. If we had of evolved from horses no woman would say neigh.


Are you sure you didn't mean "all females would have 6 tits?" Wow, how would the guy mammals control themselves?
Fido
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Nov, 2010 10:19 pm
@Pemerson,
Pemerson wrote:

Ionus wrote:

If we had of evolved from mammals all females would have tits. If we had of evolved from horses no woman would say neigh.


Are you sure you didn't mean "all females would have 6 tits?" Wow, how would the guy mammals control themselves?
I have enough trouble dividing myself between two... If she had six I would be too busy doing arithmatic to ever have an orgasm...
0 Replies
 
Fido
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Nov, 2010 10:22 pm
@Ionus,
Ionus wrote:

If we had of evolved from microbes we would be very tiny and could have lots of noisy parties every night and the neighbours wouldnt complain. We also wouldnt need clothes as there would only be one sex.

If we had of evolved from mammals all females would have tits. If we had of evolved from horses no woman would say neigh.
Two microbes walked out of a bar and one said: Is that the sun or the moon???... The other microbe said: I don't know, this isn't my neighborhood...
0 Replies
 
Fido
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Nov, 2010 10:23 pm
@Pemerson,
Pemerson wrote:

If we had evolved from cats we'd be so cute with those long whiskers and big round eyes. We wouldn't need toilets either. We'd just dig a little hole and.....er, you know. We'd love rubbing up against each other, too.
Who needs to be a cat fur that???
0 Replies
 
Eorl
 
  1  
Reply Wed 1 Dec, 2010 05:48 am
@chai2,
I take it you never saw British schlock sci-fi comedy Red Dwarf? One the characters evolved from the ship's cat while the only human was in hibernation.
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Wed 1 Dec, 2010 08:59 am
Actually, I was serious when I started this thread.

For instance, if people did evolve from let's say, horses, what would our values be?

Would we be largely a nomadic society? What would be our feelings toward family life, wealth, etc?

If we were evolved from squirrels let's say, the accumulation of wealth would be more important than if we came from, let's say an antelope.

If bees, or ants were dominent, we'd be a matriarchal society maybe. Building a strong infrastructure would be key.

Elephants? Again, a matriarcal society. I think we'd have religion, or at least a strong moral code.



Ionus
 
  1  
Reply Wed 1 Dec, 2010 09:18 pm
@chai2,
Quote:
For instance, if people did evolve from let's say, horses, what would our values be?
We would eat grass, smoke grass and lay down in grass.....all males would be extremely well endowed.
Quote:
If we were evolved from squirrels
A man's nuts would be sacred....
0 Replies
 
Ionus
 
  1  
Reply Wed 1 Dec, 2010 09:20 pm
@Pemerson,
Quote:
Quote:
If we had of evolved from mammals all females would have tits.
Are you sure you didn't mean "all females would have 6 tits?"
Have you never seen a human female lacking tits ?
0 Replies
 
Eorl
 
  1  
Reply Wed 1 Dec, 2010 11:30 pm
@chai2,
I think we'd be pretty much as we are now, or we wouldn't be we.

Our evolution is moulded by the environments we become adapted to. At it's simplest, if there's a lot of sun to deal with, our skin becomes black. Everything did evolve from single cell organisms and all mammals have a common ancestor anyway.

Humans didn't evolve from any currently existing species, it's more like horses went one way, and we went another.
 

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