Recently had a one night stand

@Lash,

Lash wrote:

Baby, you should be having fun. You're a kid in the prime of your sexual life. To quote Alan Arkin in Little Miss Sunshine:

"**** alotta women. Not just a few women, but a lotta women..."

Do it without being dishonest or cruel. Don't make promises you won't keep. Don't say you're gonna call if you're not. There are plenty of women out there who will appreciate your skills and your companionship during whatever amount of time it takes you to **** them. There are other women, who won't spread em until they've established a relationship with you. You won't need a diagram to know Who's Who in the Sexual Olympics Tournament.

Enjoy them like a connoisseur...delight in their bodies, their laughter, their sense of humor, their morning breath, and their ridiculous stuffed animal collection...get to know what you like in a relationship, and you'll eventually bump into a woman that makes you want to hang around indefinitely.

Don't ever hang around a minute longer than you want to. The right one for you will be restless for your arrival.

Meanwhile, wear a condom, and **** alotta women.

What lousy advice... I think you are in denial too... **** is a violent word for a reason.... I used to **** myself that I loved women... I did not know how to love... In fact, I looked at women as one might look as a race of space aliens who were beyond belief... Fantastic... They, women, were not individuals... I thought I could understand women, and it was a thought filled with contempt... Only one thing made women as individuals real to me, and that was sticking my unit into them, and then I usually just moved on because I was a failure at relationships, and all because I could not make the sacrifice of self to make love happen...

I took Alan Arkens advice, and he did not even have to give it... And I have love now, that I would die for, and people remark upon my good luck... My good luck could have happened years sooner and with hundreds of women, and only one thing stood in the way... Until I was a good man, honorable, and caring, I had approximately zero chances of landing a good relationship...

Using women for a night of pleasure is a piss poor use of time and effort... Having my wife, and my daughters I can regret treating women as objects... It ws not they who were aliens... I was the alien... I was the stranger in a strange land.... They gave me everything, and I gave them nothing... I gave the food I ate greater attention and care... It would seem strange to any young idiot, but I hurt from it, and regret it, and the moment I touched those girls I made a connection that I still feel inspite of the love I have... Now that I can do them no good, I care... I wonder how they are doing, and hope I did not do them too great an injury...

People are made for one, and they are designed to bond, and nothing bonds so quickly as shared intimacy... The one pain no one should invite and always avoid is the pain of Guilt, because when bad things happen to people as they always do, they should know that they do not deserve what life has loaded on them... I have robbed myself of that defense... I deserve everything life hands me... I have cursed myself...

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@Lash,

Thanks Lash..i'm 25..i hope that's still considered young. Let the good times roll. It sounds like she's interested in me..maybe just for sex or maybe long term. i have no idea.

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@mattdeezy651,

I'm torn between Lash's advice and Fido's

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Well, try as I might, I couldn't really find any concrete advice in what Fido had to say.

I think it's great that you like that girl. Enjoy her as long as it feels right. I hope she enjoys you too. I just hate to see men or women thinking they have to get all bogged down in each other's lives when they don't have to... Certainly if both of you find that desirable - go for it.

Fido, I don't see "****" as a violent word at all...and if you read what I said - I think both people should treat one another honestly and fairly...

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@Lash,

Lash wrote:

Well, try as I might, I couldn't really find any concrete advice in what Fido had to say.

I think it's great that you like that girl. Enjoy her as long as it feels right. I hope she enjoys you too. I just hate to see men or women thinking they have to get all bogged down in each other's lives when they don't have to... Certainly if both of you find that desirable - go for it.

Fido, I don't see "****" as a violent word at all...and if you read what I said - I think both people should treat one another honestly and fairly...

It is an essential and unavoidable step we all take in beginning to think of ourselves as individuals having individual will, self consciousness and conscience... That is how we live our lives, as children, preparing ourselves for life... Anyone who thinks the beginning is the end, no matter their numerical superiority, is wrong...

The end of all our learning, and the final step in our personal maturity, character develpment, and the one most essential to happiness is in learning to love, and no matter what went before, that is when life begins... People who love do not get bogged down in each other's lives, but are lifted up to a higher plane where all that went before and all that follows makes sense... We were made for this, and cutting the umbilical cord is just one step of cruel distancing we are made to suffer for our own good, if you can believe that the creation of heartless assholes out of perfect loving children is good...

We are made for love, but not raised to love... If we look about us with unfiltered eyes, with out the beer goggles, or the drug haze; we can see ourselves in a time of despair and disolution, where the the moral and rational principals that might guide us lay broken and strewn, and with lives harried from end to end like a fox by hounds, going and going to work, to back, to work, to back wishing our miserable lives into extinction as though things of no meaning.... We have one salvation, and one quality we must know to make all bearable, and to make us human; and it is love...

For some, no matter how cut off from love they are for their good and growth, all is prelude and soliloquy... Some nascent bud of reason, will and love remains in them that finds life in anothers gaze... For such people no philosophy is required to love, to find their complete being in love...

Philosophy is for those who cannot love for whom the mystery of love is always lost in quandary and conjecture... I will admit to picking up philosophy on the way to love, out of desparation and fear that I would always be alone, and never be able to connect, and care... Only because I once remembered love was I saved, and not by words on a page...

But life is too intense for the young to feel... They are animals harrassed by worms and heat and cold, by starvation and fatigue and conscious of nothing other, and the sex so splendid they enjoy is but the answer they give to instinct, and they do not listen for the reply, but turn back to their survival... This is what we mostly are: a driven mass, at the extremes of existence, dying with a dying society, lost and without meaning... Love that seems the most vaporous of mist, and the most spiritual of spirits is the firmest, and the most reliable rock we can seize upon the stormy shore of existence, and all others crumble and wash as we reach for them...

1 Reply

Im SO behind Lash on this one.

but still ..

You had your face in her ass, and you feel hesitant to call her back?
You sure you are up for the game of sex?
seriously

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@shewolfnm,

shewolfnm wrote:

Im SO behind Lash on this one.

but still ..

You had your face in her ass, and you feel hesitant to call her back?
You sure you are up for the game of sex?
seriously

I missed that part... What kind of girl could resist that??? And you know it had to be love, but love is dangerous and not for the weak...

I used to think I was doing girls a favor by having sexual intercourse with them, as if that would really help any one except momentarily, and then taking back all that was given... Now I thing sex without love is a form of violence... Think of it: You are doing something to some body uncertain of the consequences, and your motivation is not love, or the caring that comes with love... Why not hit them in the guts and save them some pain??? People are there out of necessity.. People need love, and affection, and to make that connection; but whether some one needs some one or not, every one is not that one they need... I did not help anyone, including myself... I used women and discarded them... That is not love...It was not kind, or nice... It was not humane... It was cruelty...

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@Fido,

Sweet, tortured Fido. I have to say that reading your thoughts on this subject remind me of a scene in "How to Kill Your Neighbor's Dog" wherein our protagonist is sitting on a fence with his doppelganger, who waxes philosophically upon a topic he feels intensely. Our protagonist looks at him for a moment and says, "Nope, didn't get anything out of that."

I have no doubt that you have strong feelings on the subject, and that you came upon them in a manner hard won.

I am not trying to wrestle the soul of matt from you...or even win an argument with you. I just must say that as I sift through your narratives for a thread of clarity that addresses the subject...I'm not finding anything.

Are you advocating that matt doesn't ever have sex outside a relationship? I'm trying to pinpoint where our opinions diverge.

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I once had a girl (or should I say, she once had me) who was so wild in bed that I STILL have thoughts (vivid, vivid thoughts) of that night. It's been about four years since I went out with her now. I think you need to bang the **** out of that girl again if you can, and if you can't, then find someone else who will **** you like a banshee and all will be well.

1 Reply

@Lash,

Lash wrote:

Sweet, tortured Fido. I have to say that reading your thoughts on this subject remind me of a scene in "How to Kill Your Neighbor's Dog" wherein our protagonist is sitting on a fence with his doppelganger, who waxes philosophically upon a topic he feels intensely. Our protagonist looks at him for a moment and says, "Nope, didn't get anything out of that."

I have no doubt that you have strong feelings on the subject, and that you came upon them in a manner hard won.

I am not trying to wrestle the soul of matt from you...or even win an argument with you. I just must say that as I sift through your narratives for a thread of clarity that addresses the subject...I'm not finding anything.

Are you advocating that matt doesn't ever have sex outside a relationship? I'm trying to pinpoint where our opinions diverge.

No; I am saying that sex is a form of relationship, but that does not mean it is always good, positive or without injury... I think the difference between humans and animals is the ability to have loving relationships, and I have grown out of being an animal into a human being, and as a human being I now feel an injury I did to myself and to others that as an animal I was insensitive to... Whether people know it, or are sensitive to it or not, they do themselves an injury and suffer a hurt everytime a relationship fails and they must deny intimacy... It is normal and natural to bond... People some times fall in love with prostitutes, which is more a financial relationship with sex as an secondary object, or no object to all to one, and only because people cannot escape the spell of intimacy...

Sex can be medicine or poison, and clearly, people often take poison thinking it medicine, or use medicine as poison to invite insensitivity...I know there are people who think that it can be compartmentalized, that they can have sex, and never have to care... Who are they denying??? I think such people deny themselves love as much as others... I think they fear the vulnerability of caring... Some times love makes us feel weak, and we hate it... What if, as human beings, weakness is our natural state, and the admission of weakness is our only strength... The beginning of that strength is the courage to reveal ourselves naked before others, to open ourselves to injury, and to trust... Trust must some where meet honor for a relationship to grow...

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@Fido,

FIDO wrote: "I think the difference between humans and animals is the ability to have loving relationships."

How, then, do you explain the tender love between some animals? For example, elephant behavior within their families. Even some of the apes. My two doggies obviously love and protect each other.

We are only beginning to understand the animal relationships on this planet.

BBB

1 Reply

@kickycan,

kickycan wrote:

I once had a girl (or should I say, she once had me) who was so wild in bed that I STILL have thoughts (vivid, vivid thoughts) of that night. It's been about four years since I went out with her now. I think you need to bang the **** out of that girl again if you can, and if you can't, then find someone else who will **** you like a banshee and all will be well.

If you touch a person without love in your heart to take pleasure from them, and give them nothing worth their trouble, you do them an injustice at a minimum, and a positive injury at the worst.... The definition of violence as we have it is wrong... It is not a matter of speed, or intensity, but of intent... Do you want to do something to that girl... Do you want to boink her, lay her, screw her, fck her??? Where is the good in that???... Who does it help....Is your intent to do her good, or to do good to her???

1 Reply

@Fido,

Quote:

think the difference between humans and animals is the ability to have loving relationships, and I have grown out of being an animal into a human being,

well fido, you're inane distinction between "men and animals" is inherently absurd species-centric egomania. Even a minor hint of humility would serve you well but I don't see it forthcoming.

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@Fido,

I don't disagree with everything you're saying - but you seem to be saying that sex without love is wrong or to be avoided.

I think eventually we all find love or a reasonable facsimile - but sex with no strings between two consenting adults can also be a great thing. If people are honest and treat one another as they'd like to be treated, I can't see a down side. These chicks bedded Matt the night they met (if I have the story right). It appears as though news of Matt's prowess has other women calling him. I can't think of a good reason for him not to put on a snorkle and dive in. Unless he's made promises, he hasn't obligated his cock to anyone in particular.

1 Reply

@BumbleBeeBoogie,

BumbleBeeBoogie wrote:

FIDO wrote: "I think the difference between humans and animals is the ability to have loving relationships."

How, then, do you explain the tender love between some animals? For example, elephant behavior within their families. Even some of the apes. My two doggies obviously love and protect each other.

We are only beginning to understand the animal relationships on this planet.

BBB

Let me concede your point, and say that we hold such behavior in animals in high regard because it represents the best of our own... We do not identify ourselves with rats for exactly that reason, that their behavior is dispicable to us, and yet compared to many,,,, so like our own...

1 Reply

@Lash,

Lash wrote:

I don't disagree with everything you're saying - but you seem to be saying that sex without love is wrong or to be avoided.

I think eventually we all find love or a reasonable facsimile - but sex with no strings between two consenting adults can also be a great thing. If people are honest and treat one another as they'd like to be treated, I can't see a down side. These chicks bedded Matt the night they met (if I have the story right). It appears as though news of Matt's prowess has other women calling him. I can't think of a good reason for him not to put on a snorkle and dive in. Unless he's made promises, he hasn't obligated his cock to anyone in particular.

Aristotle covered the subject under the question of whether a person can do an injustice to themselves; and I would say yes, by leaving themselves open to hurt, or by hurting others, which hurts humanity... When we kick another, humanity hurts, and we, as humanity feel it sooner or later... People, young people will take a chance on each other, and it is dangerous... If people do not forget what they most often deny, that they need love, and need loving relationships, and that sex with a stranger is at best a poor substitute for what they really need they would be further ahead...

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@Fido,

Fido: What sort of people would you consider to be rat-like?

BBB

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@Fido,

Well, it's been interesting. We're talking past each other. You don't seem to be addressing what I'm saying.

TWO consenting adults. You seem to be operating on the premise that all women are secretly pining for a relationship and it is up to the man to either acquiesce or deny her. If he denies her, he has besmirched the Universe.

If a chick takes you home - and you **** - I don't think that suddenly obligates the man to avail himself to a "relationship"?

But, I don't mind disagreeing with you. Thanks for the dialogue.

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@Fido,

yep exactly Kickycan..i agree

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@Lash,

Lash wrote:

Well, it's been interesting. We're talking past each other. You don't seem to be addressing what I'm saying.

TWO consenting adults. You seem to be operating on the premise that all women are secretly pining for a relationship and it is up to the man to either acquiesce or deny her. If he denies her, he has besmirched the Universe.

If a chick takes you home - and you **** - I don't think that suddenly obligates the man to avail himself to a "relationship"?

But, I don't mind disagreeing with you. Thanks for the dialogue.

I believe everybody is looking for THE LOVE RELATIONSHIP; and only buttholes deny it, even if they would jump at the opportunity if it came their way... I understand it not working out... I understand finding the girl of your dreams, or man is not... I di not understand, nor do I accept the total disregard of feelings that intimacy often evokes in people...

In your example, those people who **** already have a relationship... Whether it will continue or be a failed relationship is a question, or whether it will move beyond sexuality is another question...

The only chick who is taking me home btw is my wife, and though I am no perfect lover, and may not rate as much of a husband, I do love her, and save all I have for her... I was very fortunate to find her considering all the relationships I blew off to find some one else to poke... There are a lot of good women out there waiting only for a good husband to make a good wife of them.... I would not change a thing in my life, but only because what I went through led me to this point where I feel happy, in control, and able to have fun... There is a whole lot of women I would not have gone to bed with if it changed nothing else in my life because I did them no good... What I gave I took, so there was no gain...

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