xm, it's a very personal thing how someone takes it.
I finally learned not to look to others on how I should feel about something.
Years ago, I had to deal with panic attacks, and my counselor sent me to a pychiatrist, so medication could be perscribed for me. I had to go back on a regular basis for awhile, so she could measure it's effectiveness, see how I was otherwise, etc. She knew about family issues from my childhood, which were the cause of the anxiety attacks, things I couldn't repress any longer.
During one visit I mentioned my mother wasn't doing well, was going to have a leg amputated. She didn't even have to ask if I was upset, she knew I wasn't.
A visit or 2 later, I told her how my cat, Dr. Lulu Abromowitz, had died. She was 21 years old. I broke down crying, and even typing this now, I still tear up. I loved her so much, and she loved me.
After I composed myself, and we continued to talk, and a couple of minutes later, I suddently said "OH!! I forgot to tell you, my mother died last week."
I sat there a moment, then said. "I feel so weird that I almost forgot to tell you that. It makes me feel bad"
She asked why.
"Well, because I'm supposed to be upset....people say they are upset when someone dies."
Her answer opened huge doors for me in my life...
she said "yes, people do say
that, don't they?"
xm, the way you feel is the way you feel.