@fbaezer,
I feel I am repeating myself, and maybe I should stop, but I feel like this is my main point.
It really depends on the kid.
For some kids, competing to win is everything. They want to be pushed, goaded and prodded until they reach a remarkable level of excellence that will turn into results on the field. For some kids this is very healthy.
One of my kids expected me to ask about the score. That is what he cared about. That is what he wanted me to care about. His competitiveness was what drove him and what was fun for him. The other things he gained from sport; teamwork, responsibility, even dealing with failure were to him at the time, side issues.
It is the one side fits all approach that I am objecting to in this thread. The assumption seems to be that there is no place for the type of coach who drives kids to excel and to win with passion and even yelling.
My kid wanted an aggressive "macho" coach. That was one of the things that made him enjoy sports.