Ladies - question about aging

Wrinkles, don't heal as fast as I used to, less energy and the general looks I get now, not being a spring chicken and all...

Well, I'll go ahead and say something.

Years ago, I was watching an Oprah. Don't remember if it was specifically about women aging, but it was in there. I remember there was this woman, young, no more than 27, 28, on the show. Offer the course of the hour, she worked herself up into this incredible tizzy.

She started off saying she was really afraid of getting older, because it would mean her losing her looks. She quickly passed through making that statement, to seriously becoming hysterical. At various times she would start crying, lamenting how she worries about this contantly, that a day doesn't go by that she's looking for signs of her age, etc. etc. Obviously she was an extreme case, but there was one thing that was never brought up to her, that I kept saying to her from the comfort of my sofa.

"You're so worried about losing something, you aren't taking any time in your life to enjoy it while you've got it!"

I went on to tell her on the screen "Some day you're going to wake up, and BE 40, 50, 60, 70, etc and you'll never have been 20 or 30!"

Yeah, this was someone with problems, but it made an impression on me.

I remember when I first heard the term "cougar", and realized what was meant by an "older woman" was 40.

FORTY???? OLDER?????
Really? Really?

I grew up calling ppl ma'am and sir and I demand that my kids do so .. so being call ma'am doesn't bother me.. it is more of the fact that I keep tripping over my boobs.. my skin is no longer "young" and I've lost my youthful energy that no matter how many cups of coffee I can't get back.. But on the other side I actually embrace "aging" With age you get wisdom...

Y'know, surviving cancer gives you a whole new perspective on this aging stuff.

We only get one year to experience being each age. I've done the 0-54 stuff. Time to do something new.

I know we all have to go down life's road, and learn our own stuff, but here's a few things I've figured out....

Advertising/media want everyone to believe young teens looks like this....



When in reality, they (and we did, if you past being a teen) look like this...

We don't walk around with proper lighting.



No wonder kids are depressed.

Eva, I had a pleasant surprise when I moved to Albuquerque. People were so kind and helpful to me so many times, and not just in my neighborhood. When I was shopping, or just walking on a sidewalk, people helped me when they noticed I had a problem.

I don't know if the kindness to me is part of the Mexican culture to look out for their elders. What ever the reason, I've appreciated it.

BBB

When I google images for "cougar women" this is one of the first that come up...



No wonder a woman gets upset being called m'am

wow, she's really old. what is she, 28?
this is what we're supposed to think of as a "hot older woman"?

child please.

You got that **** right.

You know what these are supposed to be pictures of (besides an airbrushed models grabbing their own ass)?

This is supposed to be a picture of women showing their cellulite.








Hold on, lemme help ya out. Here's cellulite for real.



And you know what?
She looks Just Fine!

Probably looks like most women, for real.

I wish I had some of the insights I have now, when I was younger. Could have avoided lots of messes I created, I tell you! I was such an all-over-the-place muddle head when I was younger. Up & down like a yo-yo. (Though it was very exciting , I must say! )

In terms of physical appearance, well what can you say? Everyone looks more beautiful & "perfect" in their youth. I'm not crazy about wrinkles, grey hairs, etc, etc, etc, either ... but I'm not about to do anything radical, like face lifts, or anything like that. Aging (& then death) are inevitable. It's gonna happen to everyone. I'm trying to do it with gracefully, though not always succeeding.

ps: I never wanted to be a "cougar woman".

So far, I feel freer every year, so I'm enjoying aging. If someone offered me the chance to go back ten years or fifteen years right now- I'd say no.
The physical changes have not been negative enough for me to even begin to think about giving up the confidence and emotional freedom aging has brought me to bring the physically younger me back.
But I don't buy into media hype - Jesus - have you ever seen Tyra Banks without her make-up? It's all a bunch of smoke and mirror bullshit.

If, on the other hand, someone offered me the chance to go back to childhood and do the same thing all over again - I'd say yes without a second thought- even including the aging process.

Just three years ago, some friends and I had this conversation. There were four of us, all over 50. One had three children, one two, one was mother to a single child and one had never given birth but we all noticed that we had to quickly cross our legs when we sneezed. We also complained about the increased plaque on our teeth and worried, since arterial plaque is the same thing, whether our circulatory system was choking up.

I wouldn't be a cougar, either. What would I want with a green man who listens to music I can't stand?

From the time I turned 10, I've always loved getting older. There are so many benefits - you know more, you're more tolerant, you care less about so many things, you take life easier, etc etc etc...

I've noticed some wrinkly skin (top of my hands, for example, and around my knees) and I don't have the sustaining power I used to have, and other obvious things like that, but I don't care. And I like seeing signs of age in other people - I imagine them to be interesting as, from another Oprah show, everybody has a story, and I like to know that they are.

And age really is a state of mind. I have a friend who's way older than me in attitude but who's 10 yrs younger. She dresses and acts like she's 10 - 15 yrs older than me. Staid. Conformist. Unexciting. Predictable.

I like getting older and I don't care if I look it. And you can call me ma'am, if you like. Or sir. Or "Hey, you - old lady"

The kids at the local cinema, where the senior citizen discount is given at 65, give it to me. I'm 63. I certainly enjoy having the extra $2 in my pocket.

I was broken-hearted to lose the ability to sing. That happened around 45. When you're young, you have that full-on commanding voice and can reach higher registers and control your voice. As you get older, your voice gets thinner and your range diminishes.

I'm not exaggerating to say that I have approx 1/8 of the hair I used to have - and it's not shiny and healthy, but a pretty impressive cotton-candy consistency.

My teeth are too long.

My memory is getting progressively worse.

I can only acheive the "healthy glow" of my former countenance by exposing myself to cancerous rays.

My nipples don't grin at the sun anymore, but study my footwear. I may purchase permanent scaffolding for the girls, so that their happy, perpetually at-the-ready personalities may be better portrayed.

My liver sent me a pink slip about six months ago - basically saying she would only operate food breakdown every third Thursday and if I wanted to enjoy the digestive services she used to perform full-time, it is incumbent on me to eat much more fruits and veggies and much less carbs. Fuggetabout red meat. She's now put a similar kybosh on my beloved grains. Bitch.

Yesterday, my liver's like-minded co-conspirator chimed in. I now have some allergic headache-response to wine. I am still mulling suicide over this revelation. I think they've finally got me where I live.

My skin is not pretty anymore.

I have lots of skin that I have nowhere to put. (Cutting room floor of operating room is my current preferred location for it)

Gravity has made my face longer than it should be - perverting my appearance and sending a cruel lie out into the universe. It screams that I am tired and sour. This, of course, makes me tired and sour. It's a total evil, tricksical scam.

When I exersize, it really hurts. I used to love exercizing and now the tight-lipped anticipation and suffering afterwards robbed me of my endorphin rush and happy glow.

I can't bear for my lover to look in to my eyes in the morning light, so I turn away. Cruellest stab of all.

Of course, I do love the benefits of age. The calm I feel in the face of at least some of life's surprises and challenges feels sweet and bravely earned.

Let him look into your eyes Lash.

I've looked into your eyes and I suggest it's best to avoid the morning light altogether. (candlelight could be flattering) oh and that memory of being able to sing

Geez, Lashie, I just met you a bit ago and think you're one glorious broad, however much we spat or agreed in times past.

What is the deal, you have a new negative observer? (I don't mean your guy, unless that is true).