The worst gift ever!!!

When I was 13 my grandmother gave my brother and me old ornaments off of her tree. They were electric ones that you plug into tiny Christmas lights and it makes the scene inside move around.

Mine was a globe and had little moles that went around a track - into the mole hole, out on the other side. It was awful. My brother and I still laugh about it. That woman was the most thoughtless biatch I've ever known.

Getting that fang necklace sounds pretty bad there, Roberta, but actually getting fangs for Christmas might be cool. Yeah, fangs and claws....sweet.

Hey Sugar, that reminds me of a joke about a family of moles out for a stroll one day. The dad stopped first and said to them..."I smell syrup"....a few feet later, the mom said to them..."I smell sryup too!"....a moment later, the baby mole that had been following patiently said...'all I smell is Molasses"........

Joe, you've got a funny way about you. I loved your rule(s).

My Dad gets a kick out of telling a story about a Christmas I was too young to remember. It seems when I was about 4 years old my Grandmother gave me an old wooden chair with some kind of a straw weave for a seat. This, after telling me she had a great surprise for me, and then had the audacity to ask me what I thought. Apparently, I pondered this deeply and then, with all the sincerity as I could muster, said "that's really great grammy... it'll sure come in handy whenever I wanna sit down". My Dad is so fond of this story he tells it every year. I couldn't say for sure whether it's been embellished, but I do still have the chair.

Worst Christmas gift I've gotten: "Jesus Loves You" needlepoint, mounted in a frame. (I'm a devout atheist).

Runner-up: Box of 12-gauge shells, and a stuffed partridge.

Worst birthday present: Don't remember it. I was in a coma for two weeks after the drunk totalled my Mustang.

Runner-up: A G-string. Not for a guitar. For me. From another guy.

Worst anniversary gift: A Dear John letter from my girlfriend.

Runner-up: An empty bottle of whiskey, found when I got home.

Smiley, I think that might be the best, worst, funniest, saddest answer yet.

Worst Christmas gift - iron and matching board from the ex.

Runner up - A la leche league calendar, my kids were 3 and 5 at the time. from my ultra religious aunt

Birthday - black and white movies - Given during the time I didn't own a tv or a vcr for many years.
brother

Runner up - A carton of smokes and chocolates with nuts. I didn't smoke and I'm allergic to nuts.
ex husband when we first were dating. I shoulda known better!

Anniversary - A pot. Nothing says I love you..........
ex again.

Runner Up - A very used Pinto, I needed a car and he bought me a deathtrap. It was a very rusted, faded blue and bondo coloured car with a broken thermostat and it leaked C02 which gave me baaaddd headaches.
The car had no heat, the window would frost up on the inside and I would freeze. One night (-20C) I was pulled over by a cop who thought I was drunk. I was shivering so hard, I couldn't keep my legs from shaking. My foot tap danced across the gas pedal and the whole car shimmied, shook, vibrated as I drove. It went into the ditch a few times, spun out on black ice - rear wheel drive and a really heavy front end.
I left him soon after this, the final insult.

Ceili, I sure hope you've refined your skills at finding partners. That guy sounds like a real loser! I did once make the mistake of buying an automatic bread maker and consequently learned that presents that require electricity are only acceptable to men. It wasn't my girlfriend, and she did use the bread maker, but I learned my lesson just the same. I've since learned to always consult a woman, when shopping for one. :wink:

This christmas, my mother got me a toothbrush, toothpaste, and a 3-pack of disposable shavers.

She has given me 16 years of free room and board however, so i suppose it all evens out.

wow this is a great thread...

the worst gift I ever got was from my grandmother, it was a chalk board that chalk would not write on and a pair of blue baby booties. I am a girl and was 13 at the time.

My brother got it worse, he recieved a broken ply wood box wrapped in duct tape and a pair of pink baby booties, he was 15.

Since then grandma's medication has been changed and she is doing much better.

No, I'm not joking either.

This time last year, my boss got his wife a weight machine. Ultimately, he had to return it. This year, I suppose it will be something equally practical, like a laundry basket

My best friend and her step sister got matching gifts from the parents this year at Christmas. A frozen chicken, frozen vegtables, a box of stuffing, a can of gravy and a box of cake mix.
They were both stunned and at a loss for words. Because they didn't immediatly gush, they then recieved a lecture on being ungrateful.

Her father and step mother are retired and wealthy.