The worst gift ever!!!

An argyle, v-neck, sleeveless pull-over in acrylic. The accompanying shirt was great.

One year I actually did receive a lump of coal.

One year my ex-mother-in-law got me a dandy new garbage pail for mother's day.

My ex-mother law bought me candles and candle holders for specail day on the calendar. Now, I don't as a rule have a problem with candles but...
How many can one person own?

k- at least some of the gifts was salvagable. Acrylic sweater ewwww

You know Cav, a part of me, a small part...thinks you probably deserved the lump.

- A garbage pail, hope you don't mind if I laugh at that one. Unbelievably gauche. Nothing says I love you like a waste container.

ah the spirit of giving

Celli- I have to admit, it WAS a snazzy can!

When I was 12 there was a charitable Christmas event at my school. Everyone had to bring a present consisting of something you already had at home (in other words...anything).
It was all quite in fun and very humorous. I was presented with a gift that was wrapped with special care. Inside was an asprin box that contained a white sock with a big hole in the toe.

um well, first marriage with not exactly friendly in-laws who did not expect to see me on Xmas day so when I showed up to pick up wife mom-in-law went running into bathroom with paper bag and came out showing me my present, a half empty bottle of Avon after-shave. Yes I had a beard then too.

Sure Ceili, but mothers aren't supposed to do stuff like that. Okay okay, it was from Mrs. cav, and I probably did deserve it.

How about chocolate covered bugs? It's funny watching people who are forced to use their gift then and there, such as putting on a hand-made burlap sweater... But not eating insects...

I had a friend who, IT WAS TOO A FRIEND AND NOT ME!!!!


anyway.


My friend's wife wanted a new washer and dryer for Christmas and, even though he had the money, my friend Glen (there. There's his name and everything so it was not me! Okay!?) decided he would have a little fun. Glen was a good old boy and had lots of pals down at the loading dock. Soooo he got a couple of big boxes and wrapped them all up with Christmas paper and put them in his garage on Christmas Eve. Yes, bows and all.

And inside he put a scrub board and 100 feet of clothesline.

Get it ? Washer (scrubboard) dryer (Clothesline) Hill air i ous.

Ha ha haha ha, he thought.

Then his, teary eyed with happiness, wife tore open those boxes on Christmas morning in front of the kids..........




Now, I don't know how many of you have spent ten or twelve hours at your mama's house, on the phone, on Christmas Day, trying to get someone anyone to deliver a washer and dryer right away, YES!!!!! TODAY !!!!YES YES YES TODAY!!! ! BUT BUT BUT but that was how Glen spend his Christmas.

His wife said he could just stay at his momma's until the "gifts" arrived.


That was from Sears, about the 28th of December 1985.

Joe


PS Joanie, Glen's wife, didn't wash any of his clothes in the new washer till he pleaded with her,

then she let him do it himself.

LOL, Well I guess that beats my whole iron and matching ironing board gift.
I think he got what was coming to him.

so i take it Joe you are now proficient at using the washer and dryer?

2 of the stupidest gifts ever came from the same person. Well, 3, but it was the same thing 2x.

Twice, mel gave me the little cello package of 4 cookies that you get on the plane. Once, when I was letting him park his car at my place for a month. The other time, it was my birthday, and I was letting him stay at my place for a couple of days so he could pocket the money work was paying him for a hotel.

On an infamous Thanksgiving, he was going to be joining me and the hamburgers. He asked if he could bring anything. I thought, hmmmmm, maybe he's getting smarter. Ok, I really miss Ottawa bagels. Can you please bring me six of them? Sure, no problem. He arrives with a dozen bagels and the bill! He's also toting 2 bottles of wine for Thanksgiving. Wine that no one else will drink. Me, because I don't drink wine. The hamburgers - well, they're too smart to drink schlock like that. Doofus.

Once a year he still sends me an email asking if he stay at my house during the Toronto film festival. Or maybe put his tent in my backyard - he'll just need access to the bathroom from 6 a.m. to 7 a.m. and midnight to 1 a.m. Do you think I should be responding to those emails?

Bethie, for a sharp cookie, it took you a long time to put Mel off. You are waaay too nice.

Now for a question: did Joe protest too much, putting all that stress on his friend being the culprit? Could he have been the clever fellow who thought the scrub board and clothes line would make hilarious presents? Dys and I are both suspicious. Should we have a poll? :wink:

I and some people I won't name on here once drew names for Christmas presents. The one who drew my name gave me a pair of hospital slippers one of their relatives brought home from a stay there. For those who don't know, these are flimsy pieces of crap you can't even get your foot in the first time without tearing up the foam rubber tops. These people did not like me. Twenty years later, we no longer draw names, but the people in question have since become pretty friendly now.

No! No polls!! I'm ,,,,,, I'm allergic to polls and it was Glen, a shipping clerk I knew a long time ago who lived in a little bitty town in Oklahoma.


Louise and I do (see I'm not married to a Joanie) have rules.

Rule 1 Nothing with an electric cord can be considered a gift unless specificaly requested by the receiver.

Rule 2 That's it mostly. No cords.

Dang... these are some awful presents!

Last year a sister-in-law mailed our family a four-pack of Crest power toothbrushes. At least they were new... still in their Costco anti-theft pack.

Yikes, Piffka, that's bad.

Joe, the thing about cords is that they can be so handy for wrapping around the sender's neck.

Some of the very best presents I've gotten have been from my brothers, both of whom have mental retardation. They are either hand made or from a store like 7/11. They are given with such love and excitement, that I am moved more than I would be if given the most wonderful gift imaginable.