Partner

I don't like the term 'partner' - sounds so business-like. We lack a lot of suitable words in English. I think "husband and wife" are appropriate. "Boyfriend" sounds a little ridiculous at your advance age

Mumpad suggests cuddleumpkins.

"Hi I'm diane and this is dys my cuddleumpkins"

She needs to say it in a cowboy accent like: "This is here is my parDner, Dys".

Actually, I think the words "husband" and "wife" are appropriate because those are the terms that really define the relationship.

ok, I realize that "partner" is a word used because we don't have a better/more meaningful term to use, but on a practical manor. both times I've had srugery, Diane was immediately and activitely involved in my care constantly speaking with the Docs/staff etc, she practically living in my room but when she was hospitalized the very same hospital would not even tell me her room number or her condition. The only communication we has was by cell-phone with me in the lobby and her in her room. That is the problem, not the words we call each others.

get married then. simple.

So... get married. Make it legal.

In German, an "Intimate relationship" is 'Partnerschaft' (partnership. And that includes marriage as well as any other (love/intimate) being together.
Thus 'partner' my be you legal spouse or the friend you live with.
(And actually, I think that 'partner' is even showing a stronger relationship between two - thus, there's [legal] term is "marriage partner" as well.)

can't, financial reasons.

There has to be some way to make it so you are legally guaranteed to visit each other in a hospital.

I would think a statement by her, run by a lawyer, would make it happen.

a power of attorney could do that I think.
And that is something you can get done in minutes if need be.

Whats funny.. is that if I ever talk of you two *ahem* its always 'the lovers dys and di".

I do not think i have ever used other words. Never said married, partners, boyfriend, girlfriend.. it has always been " the lovers"

Every time one call one's better half snookum, one whithers away a bit of her or his soul. It's a scientific fact proven by Einstein ya know!

As per my well researched graph:

For each subsequent use of the word snookum, the receiving person's soul (Y Axis) degrades rather rapidly.

At 0 exposure to the word snookums (all things being equal), the person has a clean soul.

The red zone is the point where the soul can no longer repair itself. So after 3 times the word snookum is used then the person's soul is forever damaged.

we've done that, to no avail. when Diane last had surgery the surgeon came out asking for "Mr X" I answered (Osso was with me) he, at first, denied I was "Mr X) then continued describing how the surgery went. After she was moved out of recovery, we (Osso and I had a room number) and had a visit but when we went back (both Osso and I) the staff (other than a nurse just walking by) told us Diane was in isolation, no visitors/no information. Back at home, I called Diane's psychiartist nurse who call the hospital as "Dr Y" then called me at home explaining that somehow Diane had picked up a virus and was being kept in isolation, no information available on her condition. This is all in context to when I was hospitalized (surgery) when Diane was constantly kept informed and spend all most all her time in my room with constant consults with the doctors and nursing staff. No one on either occasion used terms like "partner" or "spouse." All the above in the same hospital.

Any chance that Diane called you her husband when she first talked with them, during your hospitalization? Anyway, it's weird, the different attitudes.

edit to say that medical power of attorney, as shewolf suggested, might help - I don't know.

Then I would further consult with a lawyer. I just can't believe it can't be done.

I want to be there when Diane introduces Dys as her partner shaft.

Do you have, what we refer to up here as, common law marriages? That is simply two people who have lived together for at least 3 years. The government looks at the couple, for purposes of most everything, as the same as married.

I haven't been in that position with respect to a hospital, so this might not work, but could you/she just lie, when one of you is admitted? I mean, it's not likely they're going to ask to see an actual marriage license when they ask for husband/wife/next of kin when they admit one of you. Name the other when you go in, don't bother telling them you didn't get a license. Anyway, some states have common-law marriage laws--after a certain period together you ARE man-and-wife, whether you went thru a ceremony or not. You're in NM, aren't you? Maybe you're married now and you just didn't realize it.

yes, in Colorado when we lived there we were considered married but no so in New Mexico.