Why are some women attracted to bad men?

@Pemerson,

Here's my second response to the same post: Oftentimes, when the woman marries a violent bully without knowing that he is, she accepts the violence, because she has nowhere else to go. That's a frightening prospect for a woman who has never worked or have never been independent.

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@cicerone imposter,

Quote:

Here's my second response to the same post: Oftentimes, when the woman marries a violent bully without knowing that he is, she accepts the violence, because she has nowhere else to go. That's a frightening prospect for a woman who has never worked or have never been independe

Not that simple as I had known too many women who seek out the bullies.

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@cicerone imposter,

Quote:

Here's my second response to the same post: Oftentimes, when the woman marries a violent bully without knowing that he is, she accepts the violence, because she has nowhere else to go. That's a frightening prospect for a woman who has never worked or have never been independent.

You are in a time warp arn't you....today women are doing better than men on the job market, and they are being raised to independent...in fact a woman who desires to be dependent upon a man is treated about on par with a leper, a woman who shows the inclination to be is "helped" to see the light of the evils of dependency.

let us also remember the do gooders who want to save women who are falling all over themselves trying to help women exit relationships and to be more independent. It is VERY hard now to be trapped in a marriage without knowing who to talk to to help for getting out of it.

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@BillRM,

Quote:

Not that simple as I had known too many women who seek out the bullies

Ya, this idea that women are this terrible at picking men is ridiculous. Most of the time women get the kind of man they want, only a lot of the time this desire runs below consciousness. It would certainly be better if women knew what they wanted and took responsibility for what they want rather than blame bad luck and men for where they end up, but sadly men dont do much better at being self aware so we are in no position to talk.

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Why are some women attracted to bad men?

For one, as an unconscious attempt to resolve the childhood difficulties with her father. A girl abused by her father always blames herself, and, therefore, alters her behavior in an attempt to win his favor. Note that the child can't blame the father because he is the source of her security. As an adult she still attempts to resolve the problem by marrying an abusive man and alters her behavior in an attempt to change his. It's an impossible situation and never works; even if she divorces she will, once again, pick an abusive mate. Therapy-for her-is the only solution.

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@hawkeye10,

No time warp; many women still get married straight out of their home environment - without college or work experience.

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@coluber2001,

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It's an impossible situation and never works;

it is possible and it often works....for the two people who count. It does not work for you because you dont approve of what they are doing.

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if she divorces she will, once again, pick an abusive mate

she will certainly try, and if that fails she will try to provoke the man she is with to act in the manor that she needs him to, and if that fails she will leave him.

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Therapy-for her-is the only solution

Who gets to decide that there is a problem? You? If the woman decides that there is a problem an seeks therapy then there is a good chance that she can use therapy to help her end the dynamic. If she is there against her will the chances are about nill, but it is worthwhile for a bit so that she can be told that she has options, should she ever desire to take advantage of them.

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Where can i meet these wimmins?

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@hawkeye10,

hawkeye10 wrote:

today women are doing better than men on the job market

doesn't matter how many threads you pop this into - you're still wrong

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@Setanta,

oy!

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Honor yourself and don't worry if women don't go for you. I'd rather wait and meet someone who can appreciate me than to sell myself into some fake me.

I've met many amazing people.

A
R
T

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Why are men attracted to bad women?

I probably see this more often in my friends/ acquaintances than the other way around. Perfectly nice guys who pick emotionally abusive (if not physically abusive) women.

I'm reading "For Better," the Tara Parker-Pope book about marriage, interesting compilation of the science of how we choose people. It's way less rational than we like to think, in general.

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@cicerone imposter,

cicerone imposter wrote:

Here's my second response to the same post: Oftentimes, when the woman marries a violent bully without knowing that he is, she accepts the violence, because she has nowhere else to go. That's a frightening prospect for a woman who has never worked or have never been independent.

Well, yeah, but that's been exposed extensively for the past few decades so that the woman at least has the option of seeking help, les she be killed. Or, possibly the wife could do what my sister did: Join Jehovah Witnesses and expose to the town just what her husband is capable of doing to her (he never harmed the 5 kids). I don't think he ever knew what hit him. Because, in this type of situation the couple can become isolated, causing confusion, boredom, even anger that's directed at the wife. These religions do promise friendship and some group to which a couple can become more socialized. At any rate, he liked this group with the instant friendships. My sister chose to marry a stupid man, and she stayed with him until he died. Would I do that? Hell, no.

And, as far as marriage between two people of the same sex: I've never had a problem with that. People are more accepting of his type of marriage than, say, 30 years ago. Why shouldn't the sanctity of marriage include them.

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@Pemerson,

Battered womens shelters are still very active in most communities; that is proof enough for me that it is still a very common problem.

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@cicerone imposter,

cicerone imposter wrote:

Battered womens shelters are still very active in most communities; that is proof enough for me that it is still a very common problem.

Yes, it sure is, but at least women have a crisis center to call, and a shelter to go to, although most wait years....and years. Of course it's a common problem even today. I don't understand why so many young girls get pregnant, marry, have more babies, and they're stuck. They truly are....stuck there. Until they learn some things.

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This whole thread bothers me; from the first post onward, a lot of stuff doesn't ring true to me.

I'm not in the mood to go through posts, I'm cooking dinner. I may apologize at some point.

I'll start with the first post -

Why are some women attracted to bad men?
Are they trying to mimic their mothers married to abusive or wildly behaved fathers?

The motivation is that the child mimics Mom?
The child doesn't know much else. "The child is trying to mimic?"
The last thing a lot of women consciously do is try to mimic mom, or men try to mimic fathers.

The child may repeat mom behavior, but Trying to Mimic is an odd attribution, certainly for an adult.

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@BumbleBeeBoogie,

There has already been many good answers which needest not repeated ..so.

Subconciously some women will choose "bad boys" because of our caveman instinct.
High pecking order, that they can secure a good defense and attack than a dull pecked man.
Also such "bad boys" would be good for suvival, a good hunter.

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@HexHammer,

Hex, It can also be culturally more common in some parts of the world where such things are more common - and accepted.

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@BumbleBeeBoogie,

Sometimes its not about the parents relationship with eachother but the parents relationship with the child. I believe some children who have been abused by their parent mentally, emotionally, or physically will play out the relationship in later life choosing men who resemble the parent figure in an attempt to restore the relationship and change it favorably. If I can't make mummy or daddy love me I will make it happen vicariously through someone else.

1 Reply

@HexHammer,

Well, there: more lack of comprehension.

1 Reply

Why are some women attracted to bad men?

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