Worried about 7 year old daughters sassing one miute and sweet the next

What do you do about it now? I mean, you say that you tell her that's not OK and why (both good) but are there any consequences beyond that? Time out, or not being able to ride her bike or watch TV or something next time, that sort of thing?

That's something that seems to work fairly well with my kid (now 9). If she opens a can of sass I say that it makes me less likely to let her do something next time. (Like, if she slept over at a friend's house and is tired and cranky and annoying, I say "hey, if that's how you act after a sleepover, I'm less inclined to let you go next time." )

at 7?
Just wait a few years. The fun has just begun!!
LOL

Seriously, I found HOW directions are given really make a difference.

"Dinner is ready' instead of "Get up here for dinner."

"I need you to clean your room today' instead of "That room is a mess, get it cleaned up."

Compliment often. State what YOU need to happen in the house.

And my best one??? In a kind tone, not sarcastic:
"Can you say that more nicely?'

Compliment every good deed.
"Thanks for being so neat in the bathroom. that helps out a lot.'

Love,
mother of 4, grandmother of 5 (three of them aged 12 - 15 years)

thank you...
I usually telll her I need you to make your bed
which is then followed with why
I then tell her so the room looks clean
then followed with another why
or I am playingggg right now
keep in mind it's not what she is saying, but her attitude towards me like how dare I interupt her which is the same attitude she diplays when I tell her it's getting dark out and it's time to come inside when it's time to get off of her bike... When I want to watch tv it's usually because she has been watching cartoons all day and we only have one tv in the lounge room and I will change the chanel and say it's time to change the channel it's now 6 pm and it's adult tv time... then she will complain how my shows are boring or yell that she was watching that...
same as when I tell her she has been on the computer playing games for a few hours it is now time for her to get off and do something else she will complain that she is interested in the game and I am always telling her it's time to stop doing what she likes to do.... And asking her to clean her toys either results in her throwing her toys in the toy box in a tantrum or she completely ignores me or she cleans some and then just leaves the rest..
I know it sounds like she is a spoiled brat but there are times I can talk to her and she will do as she is told and I have seen my brothers treat my mother like this in front of her and my mother step father and brothers all talk to each other like this and with a great deal more disrespect from the time my daughter was 2

Thank you....usually it results in her being sent to sit on her bed until she has thought about what she has done and it ready to not treat me like dirt ... which usually lasts 10 minutes and then she comes off and is her sweet adorable self again but lately this technique is not workign she will be sweet for a few minutes then continue to sass me... yesterday I had a full day of sassing from her which had her sent to bed early..
maybe I should try turning the tv off or taking her bike off of her..
a lot of the time I do try to talk to her about what she has done wrong sometimes I do tend to hope that is enough and forget about the consequences side of things...
I do not believe in smacking my child and am not sure what sort of punishments to give a 7 year old child

You don't have to react to everything she says. She is thinking out loud. Perhaps she needs more private time. Is she bored? Lack of exercise? How about summer camp?

In the meantime, here are some retorts:

Are you alright? You sound tired and short, so bedtime will be 1/2 hour early tonight.

You must not feel good, since your words are so nasty. Stay off your bike for the rest of the day.

I find your words really disrepectful. Please go talk to yourself in another room and come out when we can speak to each other nicely.

What's a kinder way to say that?

And . . .
Thanks for being so cooperative this afternoon. Would you like to do something fun together, like get an icecream cone or go to the park?

You don't have to answer the "why" - just smile or ask 'why do you ask?'

Someone told me years ago that there are 3 responses to pre-teens, who like the argument just for stimulation: Yes, No and Hmmmm.

This was very helpful.

Oh yeah, I'm not advocating spanking at all.

Sounds like the time-out consequence usually works -- I think it does point to consequences being a way to deal with it. Punishments can include taking away TV time and computer time as well.

Maybe try some proactive stuff... it sounds like she's spending a lot of time on her own (TV, videogames, bikes outside), maybe she needs to have more social time? Either with you (which could be part of the sassing -- it gets attention from you even if it's not positive attention) or with other kids (it sounds like most of that is solo but I can't tell).

So maybe set up some sort of activity for her, either with other kids if that's not what she's been doing, or with you if she has been spending time with kids.

My quick read is that she's bored and undersocialized right now (summer) and the sass is coming from that. Is she an only child?

(Good stuff from Punkey btw, welcome to A2K if I haven't welcomed you already.)