The Senate's new health care plan

The Senate has unveiled details of it's health care plan, tentatively called Compromise Care.

• Under Compromise Care, people with no coverage will be allowed to keep their current plan.
  

• Medicare will be extended to 55 year olds as soon as they reach 65, unless they are married to someone younger than they are and haven't worked outside the home in the past 10 years.
  

• You will have access to cheap Canadian drugs if you live in Canada.
  

• States whose names contain vowels will be allowed to opt out of the plan.
  

• You get to choose which doctor you cannot afford to see.
  

• You will not have to be pre-certified to qualify for cremation.
  

• A patient will be considered "pre-existing" if he or she already exists.
  

• You'll be allowed to choose between medication and heating your home.
  

• Patients can access quality health care if they can prove their name is "Lieberman".
  

• You will have access to natural remedies such as death.
  

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