Top Afghani warlord offers to help coalition forces.

Top Afghani warlord offers to help coalition forces.

The warlord, the former prime minister and pro-Taliban Gulbuddin Hekmatyar, has offered to 'help' coalition forces in their efforts in Afghanistan so long as they give a timetable for withdraw. I say we go for it but with the following conditions of our own:
1. No theocratic rule. Any attempt to reestablish the Taliban as the ruling power will result in a renewal of the occupation.
2. A monopoly on all opium purchases must be given to the US Government with said government agreeing to pay market price. No matter what laws are 'passed', Afghanistan will continue to grow, harvest and sell opium. This deal would do 2 things, effectively take opium off the market (95% of all opium comes from Afghanistan) while making it worthwhile for the warlords to accept this as they'd still be getting payed. Any attempt to sell to anyone else will also result in a renewal of the occupation.
3. 5% of all tax revenue that the Afghani Government collects must be payed as tribute to the US, with that money being dedicated to US funding of infrastructural programs. Failure to pay and the discovery of incorrect tax information in order to defraud the US Government will also result in a renewal of the occupation. This would keep Afghanistan in line as they'd be forced to pay us in return for continued independence, yet at the same time Afghanistan would get all this money back in the form of roads, schools, clean water, ect.

Why just the US?

What right allows you to occupy an established democratic society/ country?

Sounds an awful like an empire.

This is a joke and a little fun made at the expense of the republicans right?

We've been an empire for quite some time now... And you don't need to take my word for it, just as the Hawai'ians, Mexicans, Spanish, Cherokee, Canadians, Russians, and so on and so forth. We've ether tried to or did buy/conquer them all in part (ie. the Russian Empire) or in full (ie. the Kingdom of Hawai'i). Hell we expanded our Pacific Empire as recently as the late '80's (diplomatically)!

:rollinglaugh:

Hawaii!!

So you own Spain, Canada and Russia right?

You might want to look at your Social Geography and verify that statement, I'd like to see you evidence.

Maybe if you replaced US with UN people would accept it, that is assuming the UN could actually enforce anything.

Well when one of its largest constituents (and the one whose country it is in) goes against it repeatedly and treats it as a mere facade, that's what you get.

We (and Israel) use the UN only when it serves our needs. Surprised you haven't realzed that one yet.

Yes, but it is definitely not something to be proud of. We could really benefit from an international diplomatic agency, but I can see why any country would refuse back it up.