25 Reasons You Might Be a Liberal

John Hawkins :: Townhall.com :: 25 Reasons You Might Be a Liberal

With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, you just might be a liberal if...

* You're sure the Constitution explicitly guarantees the right to abortion and gay marriage, but not the right to own a handgun.

* You think Dan Quayle is the dumbest Vice-President we ever had because he believed a flash card that misspelled "potato," but think Obama is a genius despite the fact he believes we have more than 57 states.

* You'd be more upset about your favorite candidate being endorsed by the NRA than the Communist Party.

* You think the same criminals who use guns in the commission of a crime will just hand them over to comply with the law if guns are made illegal.

* You know that 86% of all income taxes are paid by the top 25% of income earners and you still feel that the rich "aren't paying their fair share of the taxes."

* You put a higher priority on oil pipelines possibly inconveniencing a few caribou than you do on lowering the price of gas for everyone in the country by drilling ANWR.

* You're worried that Osama Bin Laden might not get a fair trial if we capture him, but want George Bush thrown in prison for being too zealous in protecting us from Al-Qaeda.

* You get infuriated when you hear about the CEO of a Fortune 500 company making tens of millions of dollars, but don't see a problem with an actor, basketball player, or trial lawyer making the same amount.

* You're constantly seeing subtle, coded racism in campaign ads, but see nothing racist about blacks being promoted over more qualified white applicants because of Affirmative Action.

* You think it's obscene that oil companies are allowed to make 8.3 cents per gallon in profit with gas prices this high, but would never suggest cutting the 13 cents per gallon they pay on taxes to reduce the price of gas.

* You think George Bush is a chickenhawk because he wanted to fight in Iraq and Afghanistan despite the fact that he only served in the National Guard, but you don't think the same about Barack Obama, who has never served in the military and probably couldn't find either country on a map without help.

* You think protesting outside of abortion clinics is extremism and should be illegal, but carrying around giant puppet heads while wearing a t-shirt that compares Bush to Hitler is just exercising your First Amendment rights.

* You think the case for global warming is proven without a shadow of a doubt, but that we need another century or two worth of evidence to figure out if capitalism and free markets work better than socialism.

* You believe the best way to fix the government screwing something up in the market is with...drumroll, please...more government intervention.

* You think the first thing we should have done when Russia invaded Georgia was to take the matter to the United Nations, where Russia sits on the UN Security Council.

"you just might be a liberal if...
* You think Dan Quayle is the dumbest Vice-President we ever had because he believed a flash card that misspelled "potato," but think Obama is a genius despite the fact he believes we have more than 57 states."

• "The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century." o Senator Dan Quayle, 9/15/88 (reported in Esquire, 8/92, The New Yorker, 10/10/88, p.102)
  
  
• "Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things." Senator Dan Quayle, 10/30/88 (reported in Esquire, 8/92 and the LA Times, 10/30/88)
  
  
• "Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific. It is in the Pacific. It is a part of the United States that is an island that is right here." Vice President Dan Quayle, Hawaii, 4/25/89 (reported in Esquire, 8/92)
  
  
• "What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is." Source: (USA Today 5/10/89)
  
  
• "We are on an irreversible trend towards more freedom and democracy - but that could change." Vice President Dan Quayle, Hawaii, 5/22/89 (reported in Esquire, 8/92)
  
  
• "Mars is essentially in the same orbit...Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe." Vice President Dan Quayle, Hawaii, 8/11/89 (interview broadcast on CNN, referenced in 9/1/89 Washington Post article: "A Quayle Vision of Mars")
  
  
• "One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'." December 6, 1993, This source "Vice President Dan Quayle, Hawaii, 12/6/89 (reported in Esquire, 8/92)" has "Governor" replaced with "vice president".
  
  
• "For NASA, space is still a high priority." Vice President Dan Quayle, talking to NASA employees, 9/5/90 (reported in Esquire, 8/92)
  
  
• "We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur." Vice President Dan Quayle talking about the Mideast situation, 9/22/90 (reported in Esquire, 8/92)
  
  
• "I have been asked who caused the riots and the killing in LA, my answer has been direct & simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame." Vice President Dan Quayle (during the Commonwealth Club speech 5/19/92)
  
  
• "Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it." Vice President Dan Quayle, 5/20/92 (reported in Esquire, 8/92)
  

Actually the right to gay marriage is guaranteed by the constitution.

Show me where, exactly it says that?

9th amendment.

It is also mentioned in the Declaration of Independence.

Would it be to much trouble for you to quote what you believe says that? To my knowledge, gays are not mentioned anywhere in the Constitution or Declaration? It's hard to guarantee where your not even mentioned.

of certain rights

shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.” On its face, this provision seems to mean

which ones? The ones you choose? As i said before Gay is not mentioned in either.seems to mean? what does it seem to mean to you? I suppose you can interpret it how you like but that does not mean that SCOTUS will adhere to your opinion.

Why, that has nothing about gays either.

Once difference, in most peoples definition and that is the majority, marriage is between a man and a women, period.
Man + women = marriage
Man + man does not = marriage
women + women does not = marriage

By definition of marriage the gays only choice is the opposite sex.

Marriage it a religious event, always was always will be.

Marriage it a religious event, always was always will be.