A4 paper
laminate
neoprene
dandruff
A4 paper flyer
Is laminated and passed from seller to putative buyer.
Who wants a neoprene wet suit?
Anti-dandruff shampoo? Some orris root?
ditty
unicorn
roughage
Anglepoise
A ditty with a lion
And a unicorn is very fine
There's roughage on our breakfast plates
As Anglepoise illuminates
weary
bleary
sneery
cheery
weary
bleary
sneery
cheery
You go to bed weary,
You wake up bleary,
Your friends are sneery,
And you wonder how the hell they can be so cheery.
ant
art
asp
aye
ant
art
asp
aye
A supplicant at culture's fount
"Need art. Now. A large amount!"
An asp reputedly did for Cleopatra
That lass had eaten, aye, her last chiabatta
Well it doesn't have to be good, eh?
Marks and Spencers
hospitality
Fiat Panda
meerkats
You're too hard on yourself, it's fine!!
Marks and Spencers
hospitality
Fiat Panda
meerkats
Marks and Spencers or Marks and Sparks
Introduced hospitality hostesses in their car parks.
They skulked behind my Fiat Panda, popping
Up like meerkats to look for people shopping.
teddy bear
trousers
tweezers
tungsten
Once I had a teddy bear
It ripped its trousers. Folks did stare
Tweezers, tungsten needle, thread
That bear was soon fixed and back in bed.
infra-red
insects
twine
brochure
infra-red
insects
twine
brochure
In the infra-red light
We photographed strange insects in the equatorial night.
These were fixed to the perimeter fence with twine in a twist
To provide tourists with ecotourism brochures a comprehensive list.
la Scala
scales
scabies
scratch
la Scala
scales
scabies
scratch
La Scala- bravas to the diva
Or a picture palace by Glasgow's river?
Mangy curs with scabies skulk
Or come up to scratch in Castlemilk
press cutting
thimble
compost
The Schleswig-Holstein Question
press cutting
thimble
compost
The Schleswig-Holstein Question (or vanilla)
I came across a press cutting about David Trimble
Who became a lord with his own coat of arms embossed on a thimble.
I would have thrown such memorabilia into the compost heap as a filler
A decision which makes the Schleswig-Holstein Question look as fragrant and simple as vanilla.
killer
captain
account
humour
killer
captain
account
humour
A killer bee
Set out to kill the captain of the "Robert E Lee".
On account of failing, by heck,
The humour of the situation had the captain rolling on the deck.
granules
mogadon
harm
peruke
granules
mogadon
harm
peruke
The stimulant granules of my instant coffee
Make Mogadon almost obligatory for me
Too much, though, can do you harm
And you may need a peruke to keep your bonce warm
tea
freckle
eggs
whetstone
tea
freckle
eggs
whetstone
The Labour candidate chucked a cup of tea at a man who heckled,
And the LibDem man was gingery and freckled.
I chucked eggs at the UKIP lady called Bet Stone.
But the Con artist had honed his wit on a whetstone.
down
mail
minx
Magritte
When a minx, coquette met with Magritte
She opined, "Sir real painting is hit"
Then as inks dry came down in the mail
Watering mouths inchoate red sail
Lewinsky
beef
flute
hail
eppie, I think you should read page one of this thread before more versifying.
Lewinsky
beef
flute
hail
Ms Lewinsky pulled a chief
And you never heard her grouse nor beef.
She played his flute and sucked his cigar, such a temptation.
He hailed her prowess but denied her to the nation.
gay
flirt
Wednesday
harrow
gay
flirt
Wednesday
harrow
"A nosegay for a sweet demoiselle!"
A flower-seller oft would call, and sell
These aids to flirt, except on Wednesday
When she went to see her mum in Harrow, far away
clerihew
Hugh
Pugh
Barney McGrew
no let's make it
needle
fishing line
birthday card
credit
The difficult bit is getting one each of those words into each line, in order; you managed to squeeze 2 in 1.
needle
fishing line
birthday card
credit
A knitting needle is like
A fishing line and rod, with the pike
On the end, holding a birthday card (being the knitting)
Give me no credit for this, I've had too much Scotch at one sitting.
Scotch
harbour
feastday
marvel
I bought her a scotch- then another
Which brought her in to the harbour
T'was Augustine's feastday
A guy who was scared of a marvel.
Epicentre
Orchard
Jackhammer
String.
The epicentre of the disturbance was the paddock
By the orchard, where Jill Braddock
Hit Barney McGrew with a jackhammer
And tied him up with hairy string, God damn her
procrastination
springtime
movies
barbless hooks
masterly versification there!
procrastination
springtime
movies
barbless hooks
Who put the crass in procrastination?
A white violet in springtime, or Letty, or Joe Nation?
Taglines from movies, songs or books
Define our members better than barbless hooks.
lizard
stocking
felonious
wimp
