hunk
pale
fern
mist
The hunk paced manly down the beach
A lesson to the pale weed to teach
But the fern like weed was a trained belt of black
And a mist came over the hunk as he fell on his back.
car ferry
ukulele
cake
analyst
car ferry
ukulele
cake
analyst
So there we all were on the car ferry,
Sid with his ukulele, Marge, Fred and Terry
Eating his hash cake, and Chrissie getting pissed
Chatting to a stockmarket analyst.
king
pawn
jobs
dean
king
pawn
jobs
dean
The king came in through the door,
Sat down and played pawn to Q4,
It was one of my jobs to wipe off the slate
When the dean played and gave him checkmate.
hymn
dove
tackle
brush.
hymn dove tackle brush
With a heartfelt hymn to peace by the priest
A white dove was released.
It takes more than a dove to tackle terrorist bombers
A brush with a bird won't send them back to their mommas.
gander
poster
jailer
gutter
gander
poster
jailer
gutter
Take a gander at that sign
What a poster what a design
A jailer in jail, who'd think it?
But the gutter press would print it.
boss
table
multiply
bungalow
boss
table
multiply
bungalow
I'm here, I'm cool, and I'm the boss.
I sit at the head of the table, hair en brosse.
I watch my companies multiply.
Looking for another bungalow, house or mansion for me to buy.
bread
muddle
top
varnish
bread
muddle
top
varnish
Bread is my worst vice
No muddle involved nor thoughts twice
I top it with lovely jelly
Whilst I varnish the telly.
reason
broadcast
sigh
release
reason
broadcast
sigh
release
Seek not the reason
For the silly broadcasts in the summer season.
They may make you grumble and sigh
But you can gain release in the press of a button and the twinkling of an eye.
canal
bottle
champion
bodyguard
canal
bottle
champion
bodyguard
Down the canal goes the boat.
A bottle hidden in my coat.
My champion aboard
Gave my bodyguard an award.
step
junket
release
firehouse
step
junket
release
firehouse
As we came a faltering step nearer
The junket and strawberries began to taste queerer;
Then - the release of the gigantic mouse -
Which had us running, cowardly, to the firehouse.
footfall
formalin
frogspawn
fog
footfall
formalin
frogspawn
fog
I'm scared at the footfall and the tap of a cane,
Or the drip drip of formalin going down a drain,
Or burried in frogspawn in a 100 acre bog.
I hope I wake up soon from this dreamy fog.
gentleman
Galileo
gannet
gargle
gentleman
Galileo
gannet
gargle
A gentleman who fell foul of the Pope
Was Galileo, who used a telescope
Apart from an ant, a cloud and a gannet,
What made him gargle most was a view of a planet.
husband
horsehair
halitosis
hug
husband
horsehair
halitosis
hug
A husband to his wife said "Dear"
As he sat in his horsehair chair
Is it your halitosis that smells like a tug?
Of course not it's the dog and gave him a hug.
pig
pocket
poverty
plonk
pig
pocket
poverty
plonk
A pig bought a Guy Fawkes rocket,
Put it carelessly, with matches, in his pocket.
The explosion resulted in poverty for his family and friends,
Consuming plonk and breadcrusts and cigarette ends.
nightmare
noggin
navy
nub
nightmare
noggin
navy
nub
In my nightmare, in a storm, aboard a ship at sea,
A noggin of rum was handed to me.
"Tis a cure for what ails you" said my friend in the navy,
"Now, chew on this nub of coal covered in gravy".
oatmeal
orange
outhouse
ointment
(Yes, but who scoffed the lovely roast port and crackling?)
Oatmeal coloured rain puddles block the lane;
With orange mud; we hunch from the rain
The smell of an Indian outhouse rises and rankles
And we apply antimosquito ointment to our ankles.
hobgoblin
hill
heifer
hags
hobgoblin
hill
heifer
hags
One night when the hobgoblin roamed at will,
I swear I saw him climbing the hill,
In the field the heifer lowed a mournful sound,
While a coven of ancient hags danced around.
book
blossom
billionaire
booze
book
blossom
billionaire
booze
I took a book to the riverside
Where the blossom-laden apple trees grew far and wide.
A billionaire was asleep on the river's strand,
A jar of booze by his hand.
train
chapati
sandals
garland
train
chapati
sandals
garland
On the train ride down from the Northern Frontier
I dined on chapati, curry and beer.
Though my sandals were worn I had rupees to spare,
So I purchased a garland to wind through my hair.
pyjamas
football
chocolate
roses
My pyjamas are bundled into my bag
I packed them with a football but then hit a snag.
The chocolate I'd put in had started to melt.
Better than roses it smelt.
jaguar
heliotrope
business
college
